Gold and Charcoal

Gold and Charcoal
Chapter 8
Cats and Dogs

The light started to bother Edward around eight in the morning; Roy heard him grumble protests and shift to escape the annoying rays. When the boy turned around, the chain rattled and trailed over his side, which made him jerk to a sitting position, alarmed.

“Ow! Head, head, head!” He held his head while staring at his automail and the chain attached to it. “Why-?” He looked to his right and saw Alphonse sleeping on his spot near the wall.

Roy provided an explanation. “Your brother left me to you last night and you both passed out before doing anything else.”

Edward turned to look at Roy with sleepy confusion. It was an interesting change from the aggressive expression he usually displayed. Ed was much…cuter like this. Even as the blondie picked out his memories of the previous night, his face remained pleasantly soft, without its usual mask of irritation or anger. He brought his hands together, concentrating, and reached for both ends of the chain. It fell to the ground and Roy gladly kicked it under the bed. They wouldn’t need this anymore.

“Where’s Havoc?” Ed’s gaze searched for the soldier.

“Hawkeye told him he could go home.”

“Oh. Just…close the curtains,” waved the boy weakly, collapsing back with his flesh hand over his eyes. “Damn sun, it huuuurts.”

Out of pity, Roy followed the order. The curtains were too light to block all the light, but it was enough to filter it and prevent the rays from torturing Edward.

Edward didn’t go anywhere for most of the day. He wouldn’t even leave his bed, claiming that the ground wouldn’t stop moving. He just kept his head under his pillow and groaned softly for hours, with Al doing almost the exact same thing beside him. They would occasionally reach out for the glass of water left within arm’s reach. Still out of pity, Roy refilled it every so often. The mongrel was the only one who did not have a hang over. He had a light headache, but that was all. Besides fetching fresh water for the pair of brothers, Roy didn’t move much either. He stole some books, paper and a pen before settling down on his comfortable carpet and starting to doodle, copying the sign on the wall. He had decided he wanted to know what it meant, now.

It was better to take it one piece at the time, he told himself. There was a snake, a cross, a pair of wings and a crown. The crown was surely the easiest to understand. It referred to a king, somebody with supreme power. The wings, well it was slightly more complicated. For each of the seven steps of alchemical reaction, there were a few emblematic animals and several of them were birds. The black crow and raven were for the blackening, the white swan and eagle were for the whitening, then the next three steps had no birds…next, the reddening had the pelican, and, finally, the final transmutation was represented to the phoenix. Maybe the crown indicated the wings were for the phoenix, since he was the ‘king’ of the others, the final destination. A phoenix was born from the fire, so perhaps it was why the sign was painted in red on the wall. Although Ed’s sign was in black, it was also on a red coat. Ah, but no, Al’s coat was green. Maybe the black was for the raven after all. Or maybe the colors were irrelevant and he was confusing himself. Roy decided to place his bet on either the raven or the phoenix, perhaps even both. He moved on.

The cross was also fairly easy to understand. It was about death and sacrifice. Mmm, sacrifice…perhaps it symbolized equivalent trade.

Roy raised his head above the unconscious Edward and watched Al to judge if he was awake or asleep. He reached the conclusion the boy was awake, despite his closed eyes. “Alphonse?”

“Mn?”

“Isn’t there a religious signification to crucifixion?”

Alphonse peeked at him and answered slowly. “Well, yes. I won’t get into details but…it’s about a guy who died like that and resurrected three days later. He was supposed to be the one God’s son, dying to relieve humanity’s sins. The savior. Something like that.”

“A sacrifice.”

“Yeah.” When Roy didn’t ask anything else, Al’s eyes shut again and he went back to whimpering into his pillow.

Roy scribbled around the drawn sign. Good, good. He was on the right track. It was about a sacrifice. But, it was also about resurrection. Eternal resurrection, if the guy in question was a god. Immortality maybe.

The most evident meanings of the snake were evil, poison and death. The snake’s alchemical symbolism was also often about duality, if he recalled correctly. Now, where had he seen this… Roy flipped several pages in three different books before he found what he was looking for.

The snake often was used as a symbol for duality - its long drawn out body separating the polarities of head and tail. Sometimes the figure of a winged dragon was used here in place of the snake, in order to close the circle with the dragon at the beginning of the work. When the snake or dragon seized its tail it united the polarities into a circle, a symbol to the alchemists for achieving solidity amongst the dualistic energies of the soul forces. The creation of the Philosophers\' Stone, was the formation of solid inner ground upon which the alchemical philosophers could build their personalities, and experience the full potentiality of being human. (from www(dot)alchemywebsite(dot)com)

The Philosopher’s Stone? Hum, interesting, but not practical. The stone was a myth, a blondie’s wish for a power without limits. No use thinking about that.

So all right then. He had several pieces with a few different meanings. What could he get out of it… A snake on a cross seemed to represent a sacrifice like in the equivalent trade, the crown meant something was superior, and the wings were probably for the phoenix. Last level…king… Roy’s mind drifted back to the Philosopher’s Stone for a moment. He doubted it actually had something to do with that; the boys were too smart to believe in such nonsense. Maybe the whole thing represented an ideal, a complete and perfect understanding of alchemy. That would suit the boys better. Although they did not seem to like the practical applications of it, they poured their souls into their work. More often than once did Roy pretend to sleep as they were reading in bed in the middle of the night, arguing lowly with each other, exchanging ideas and theories that Mustang could barely grasp.

Roy shifted aside as Alphonse heroically dragged himself over Edward and out of the bed to wobble over to the bathroom. He made it there without falling or bumping into anything and Mustang’s mind was distracted by the sound of running water for a time, before he forced his mind back on the sign issue.

One big question remained. Why would this sign be forbidden then? Why would the pursuit of knowledge to its peak be dangerous? Havoc had clearly said people were not allowed to know what it meant, and Roy knew the boys were constantly pressured into getting rid of it. Why?

There was a possibility the achievement of true alchemical knowledge involved something else, something dangerous. Something that would lead one to lose limbs if they failed?

Roy couldn’t find a satisfying answer. He had an idea of what the sign meant, but not of what it implied. Well, that was at least a little bit of the puzzle. He sighed and stretched, brain hurting from trying to make the right connections. He froze in his movement, eyes riveted to the open book in his lap. He picked it up, almost pressed it in his face. Under the passage about the snake, there was a symbol of a snake biting its own tail. Roy recognized this sign. Lust had it on her chest, Envy on his thigh. The other lady, Sloth, might have it as well. He scanned the text quickly.

It\'s called the Ouroboros and it has many different meanings. One is eternal return, everything being circular, everything recurring and also of a snake eating its tail, of it devouring itself, which is a more negative context.

The Ouroboros (or Uroboros) is the symbolic rendition of the eternal principles presented in the Emerald Tablet. The great serpent devouring itself represents the idea that \"All Is One,\" even though the universe undergoes periodic cycles of destruction and creation (or resurrection). In Orphic and Mithraic symbology, the Ouroboros was called the Agathos Daimon or \"Good Spirit\" and was a symbol for the \"Operation of the Sun.\" In Greek terminology, the Ouroboros was the Aion, which Herakleitos likened to a child at play. To the Greeks, the Aion (from which our word \"eon\" is derived) defined the cosmic period between the creation and destruction of the universe. (text from www(dot)fourthhorseman(dot)com(slash)Abyss)

What? Roy frowned, trying to puzzle this out. So it was about a never-ending circle, about eternity, about life and death, about creation and destruction. What kind of practical application did that have? What did it have to do with the sins? Was it about power, control?

Roy was not pleased. He hated this feeling of being close to the answer but missing something, a clue, that would allow him to reach it.

“Apple juice?”

Mustang jumped, startled. Alphonse was smiling down at him – albeit with a shaky expression – and holding out a glass of a yellow liquid. Apple juice. Right. The man took it. “Thank you.”

Al sank on the edge of the bed, sipping very slowly at his own glass. He looked at his brother and extended his real hand to rub at Ed’s right shoulder, explaining lightly that he was checking for knots or irritated spots along the automail port. It happened sometimes that heavy usage of the metal arm gave too much strain on the port, which could lead to minor flesh tearing that would bleed and could potentially get infected.

“Niisan is prone to ignoring things like that,” concluded Al.

“I’d bet,” agreed Roy.

Alphonse emptied half of his glass before inquiring, “So, did you figure out the flamel yet?”

“The flamel?” The boy gave a vague gesture toward the wall in front of them. Ah. The sign? Flamel. Right. Roy looked a little disgruntled as he admitted; “Not completely.”

“It took Niisan and I a long time to understand. It’s hard to gain knowledge.” Alphonse actually looked amused at Roy’s frustration “ You’re pretty curious. It’s not like you need to learn this.”

“All knowledge is worth having.”

“Mn. But sometimes the price is high, you know?” Al said absently while looking down at his hands. Roy corrected himself; not his hands, his hand. The left one; the fake one.

“Was that the price of knowledge or lack thereof?”

Al shuddered and glanced up, looking half lost in dark thoughts or memories. “Both I suppose. It was equivalent trade. We just didn’t know the rules.”

“What did you earn?”

The boy leaned forward, like to spill it, but all he said was, “That’s a secret.”

“I think you’re enjoying baiting me,” snorted the man, a little disappointed.

“Maybe. You’d understand that, wouldn’t you?”

Roy cracked a smirk. “Oh, I would.”

Alphonse tried to smile again but finally only groaned in pain and crashed down in the narrow space between Edward and the bed’s edge. He nudged his older brother until the latter grumbled and shifted, moving his lower body away but electing Al’s chest as his new pillow.

“I think I’m going to pass out,” said Al, a hand automatically sneaking into Edward’s golden hair. “My head hurts beyond reason.”

“Your brother is already cold out of it. Feel free to join him. I’m guarding the place like a good dog.”

It was and wasn’t a joke. Al smiled faintly and went to sleep.

-

Around dinnertime, the boys were well enough to get up and stretch stiffly. Edward wandered to the closet, due for a change of clothes. All Roy and Havoc had taken off the boys were their coats, boots and second shirt before laying them in bed.

“Out of clothes,” announced Edward with a grimace. “Laundry time.”

Laundry time? Roy almost edged away, thinking he was going to be designed to carry it out. But no, the boys ignored him. They emptied the closet, throwing countless pairs of black pants and shirts on the floor, as well as underwear, socks and pajamas. There weren’t any other coats.

“I’m opening the windows,” warned Al, pushing the tall windows open. It surprised Roy, because he hadn’t thought you could open these large windows. And, judging by the way Al primarily used his automail to push, it surely wasn’t easy to move them.

In the Elrics’ world, ‘laundry’ meant to sit at the window, clap your hands together and restore each piece of clothing as best as you could. They did this at the window so the dirt would fall outside and not on their clean floor. There were a few casualties, clothes that had to be thrown away after they tried to clean it this way. Roy had a feeling there often were casualties.

“Done.”

“Done too.”

Everything that had been successfully cleaned up was put back in the closet. Then Al wandered to Roy for a last clap, pressing his hands to the man’s hips. It was the third time, and Mustang liked it just as much as the first two. He wondered if it was dangerous to perform alchemy directly on somebody like that. Well, he didn’t join today laundry’s casualties at least, and that was good enough for him.

“I think I said I’d be doing something for your underwear, didn’t I?”

“It would be appreciated,” agreed Roy. Jeans were irritating after all.

Reaching for a ruined black top, Alphonse clapped his hands and changed them into boxers, eying Roy to guess his size. “Okay, these will probably fall apart in three days, but I’ll have somebody pick up real clothes for you before they do.”

The dark man took them, trying to see what was wrong with the clothing article. “I thought alchemy could fix anything.”

Alphonse shook his head. “Objects tend to erode with time. The material loosen, threads come undone or fall out, things like that. Alchemy isn’t always precise enough to restore things perfectly. On top of that, the alchemical reaction itself can be a strain on the object.” He flexed his automail, which was not hidden for once. “Even these would eventually break down if Winry didn’t take care of the maintenance.”

“Less talking, more feeding,” grumbled Edward from his spot, sprawled on a couch, legs over the side and an arm hanging down to brush against the floor.

“If you think you can eat without throwing up…” Mustang gave a light shrug. “I’ll make something light.”

After a supper of soup, the boys snuggled back in bed with books, showing no signs of wanting to move again any time soon. Roy left them, busy making himself something more substantial than soup. After feeding himself properly, he did the dishes. It might have been a little weird, but he enjoyed doing the dishes. Maybe because it meant you had eaten that day; Roy had spent enough years scraping by to appreciate such comfort. It was fine anyway, that he took care of meals, because he wasn’t the one providing the money for the food. He wouldn’t have wanted to feel in debts in any way.

Roy put the dishes away and glanced out the window above the sink. Mn, it wasn’t even dark yet. He was bored. Bored, bored, bored. He didn’t feel like reading; he didn’t have the same illogical book love as Edward and Alphonse. Of course, it seemed reading was also a good excuse to cuddle up and doze in comfortable silence. Roy could understand that; he’d done it quite often on rainy days.

Oh well, he’d been meaning to wash and get into the boxers Alphonse had transmuted for him anyway. He went for a bath, locking the door and easing into fuming water with a satisfied hmm. Hot water was another perk of living here. Back home, it was usually only about body temperature, which was okay, but not great.

But, at the same time, there was also another downer to living here. The lack of sexual life, and the lack of privacy to at least masturbate the frustration away. The bathtub had never really been Roy’s favorite place to release said frustration, but it would have to do. He closed his hand on himself and his eyes on a fantasy. Strangely enough, his mind would not settle on a female form today. But the one that did come to mind wasn’t uninteresting. Far from it, really.
-

It was around three in the morning that the cat first mewed. Roy had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while, and that is why he heard it. He didn’t pay it much heed, already sinking back into slumber, but Alphonse did not take it the same way.

“Niisan, did you hear?” There was a mumble. “I think there’s a kitten outside!” No answer. Alphonse sighed and stepped out of bed, heading to the window. He pushed it opened a little and listened carefully.

Roy had almost fallen back asleep when the animal mewed again. He cracked an eye open just in time to see Al jump out the window and wander away. With an unhappy grunt, the man sat up and rubbed the back of his head. He didn’t mind early mornings, but the middle of the night? Ugg. But, he thought it was better if he kept an eye on the boy while Edward was quite literally out of it.

Roy was careful when he jumped down, mindful of his almost-but-not-quite-healed bones. The window was a good five feet and a half off the ground, which would make coming back that way a bit of a pain. Good thing he had strength in his arms.

It was eerily quiet outside, with nothing but the buzz of unknown bugs to fill the air, and the sky was clouded, enough so that the moon would spend long moments hiding before restoring its weak light. Roy shivered slightly as his naked feet sank in damp grass, but he actually liked the fresh sensation. He strode forward, eyes darting left and right to pin point a small figure, ears straining to hear somebody moving or perhaps the mewing of the cat that had attracted Alphonse out here at this hour. It wasn’t such a large garden, it was just so clogged up with vegetation it was hard to see beyond the trail.

What Roy did hear, were voices.

“What are you doing here?”

The mongrel recognized Alphonse’s voice immediately and turned to his right, walking directly through the bushes. Never mind if the twigs and rocks harmed his feet.

“I should be asking that. Shouldn’t a kid be in bed at this hour?”

Familiar voice. Disgustingly familiar. Mustang was torn behind hurrying forward and slowing down. He did slow down, but only once he was through the blocking vegetation and could see the situation. Alphonse was standing seven feet away from Envy, the sin standing on a wooden bench.

“Just taking a walk,” said Al evenly.

“Are you sure?” Envy grinned. “Weren’t you looking for the cat?”

Alphonse reacted, a little. His voice was stressed. “What did you do to it?”

“Don’t look at me like that,” protested the creature, raising its hands. “I don’t hurt kittens. Gluttony does. Sorry kid, he got here before you.”

It was so quiet the mongrel perfectly heard the boy’s sigh. “You’re watching us, aren’t you?”

“Why do you say that?”

The blond refused to take the bait. “I hate you,” he said firmly.

“Ah? You do?” The sin leaned forward. “Well I don’t hate you. You should be grateful, really.”

When Envy jumped down the bench, Roy scowled and started to walk again, realizing he’d stopped. The smart thing to do would have been to turn around completely, but Roy Mustang would always help a friend in trouble if he could. And, by now, he deemed Alphonse had earned that name. The way the boy had been the one to offer Roy something to drink the day before – well mere hours ago - had been proof enough.

Envy paused right in front of Al and grinned maniacally as he raised a pale finger to trace the boy’s jaw, his other hand gripping the blond’s hip to bring him closer. Alphonse had to fight not to recoil in disgust and fear at the touch, it was visible in the shudder that ran through his body.

“Trust me,” Envy purred. “You don’t want me to hate you. Maybe you should remind your brother to watch out, eh?”

“Alphonse,” Roy called, calmly. “You’ll catch a cold.”

When the sin turned his head to him, Roy had the chilling impression the creature had known he was there from the start. The man didn’t let his uneasiness show, holding Envy’s gaze as best as he could. It was hard and he didn’t think one could ever grow used to those unnatural eyes and their cruel gaze.

Al didn’t take his eyes off Envy but he made an agreeing sound and started to back out of the sin’s hold. Envy looked amused as he watched the boy go, without making any move to stop him.

“Are you alright?” asked Roy in a low voice.

“I’m fine.”

“Come on.” Roy threw his arm around Alphonse’s shoulders and pulled him away. They didn’t look back, but Roy felt Al’s tense awareness and he himself knew he wouldn’t let his defenses down until they were back inside and the window closed on the dark night and its creatures.

They were just in view of their window when Edward came up to them, eyes wide and worried. He caught and shook his brother by the shoulders. “Alphonse! Where the hell were you?”

“I heard a cat, I went to look for it.” Al’s tone was flat, dead, and his eyes were lowered. “Gluttony got it.”

Edward had a long suspicious look around, hooking an arm around his brother’s waist and pulling him back toward their home. “Moron!” he hissed. “Don’t ever wander on your own like that! You’re lucky you’re whole!”

“I didn’t see Gluttony. I just saw Envy,” corrected Al. “I think they’re watching us, Niisan.”

“Bastards,” growled Ed, shaking his free fist. “One of these days I’ll figure it out and I’ll kill them all!” The shorter blond hooked his hands to make a step for his brother and, once inside, Al reached out with his automail to haul Edward up. Alphonse would have offered help to Roy too, but Edward was already pushing him back to sit on the bed, checking him over. Since Al wore nothing but pajama pants, it was easy to see he wasn’t injured at all, but Ed still worried, real and fake fingers glossing over Al’s skin.

Roy had pulled himself inside by now, and was trying to close the window. It moved, little by little, but damn was it heavy or what. He paused to rest his muscles, a little insulted he couldn’t even close the window in one shot.

“Niisan, I’m fine. He didn’t tou- he didn’t do anything.”

“What was that?” Edward’s voice was slightly hysterical. “ Don’t you dare lie to me!”

“Roy interrupted whatever he wanted to do anyway,” shrugged the younger boy.

“Roy?” Edward looked back at the man. “What did Envy do?”

Mustang spoke in an even tone, hiding his real thoughts on the issue. “He was just taunting. I interrupted him in case he was planning to do anything else.”

Edward thought about that for a long time, before, finally, saying, “Thanks.” And that was that, he was concentrating entirely on his brother again. “Next time you want to go wander the garden in the middle of the night, you wake me up!”

Stubborn, Roy attacked the window again and pulled with all his strength. Damn…thing…

“You’d only be in a bad mood, Niisan.”

“I don’t care! Bad mood or not, I’d go anyway! Do I have to list all the things those monsters could have done to you before I even found you?!”

There was a sort of squeak and it was done. The mongrel had trouble believing Alphonse had open and closed this window on his own in just a few seconds. Automail was even stronger than he’d thought.

“I’m sorry, Niisan.”

“Well you damn better be! Idiot!” Edward’s voice was breaking now. He buried his face in his brother’s stomach, arms tight around Al’s waist. Alphonse sank his hands in the free long hair and gave Roy a look.

The mongrel gave an understanding nod and moved to the kitchen area to allow them as much privacy as possible. For lack of anything else to do, he did a few exercises and probed his side, pleased to find there wasn’t any more pain. In theory, it wouldn’t be healed for another week or so, but he wasn’t planning to jump down any balcony any time soon so everything should be alright. Lust’s nail scars were clean cut and added an interesting effect to his otherwise perfect chest, and his hand had entirely recovered from being rammed in a wall and then meeting a sharp lobster shell. Yep, on his side, everything was fine. But, for some reason, he didn’t feel as content as he thought he should have.

Fifteen minutes later, Alphonse came in, a hand scratching the side of his head. “Sorry about keeping you up. You can go sleep now. I got Niisan to fall back asleep.”

“Aren’t you the one supposed to be traumatized?” Roy studied the boy closely, trying to judge how good he was feeling.

“Don’t look at me like that. I said I’m fine.”

“Is that the truth?” insisted Roy.

“If I’m upset, it’s because Niisan is upset. I’m fine.” Mustang only gave him the ‘I don’t buy it’ look, so Alphonse launched into a longer speech. “ You wouldn’t understand, but it’s like…well I’d die for him, but I wouldn’t survive his death. And he feels the same. He just takes it worse because he thinks he’s entirely responsible for everything that could possibly happen to me. Just thinking about something hurting me makes him upset. He’s that protective. So now I feel horrible for putting him in such a state. That’s all. I’m okay.”

The man leaned back, hands on the edge of the counter, and tried to make sense out of that fuzzy explanation. “You’re right. I don’t understand.”

“What about your friend? You said he would have searched for you.”

“We’d die for each other, but we wouldn’t die without the other,” replied Roy. “It’s loyalty and friendship, not love.”

Alphonse gave him a long look. “We’re not a couple, you know.”

“You’re not?”

Al blushed a little. “Live with somebody you like a lot for a few years and forbid yourself from having sex with anybody else, then tell me where it leads.”

Roy shrugged. “Friendly sex,” he answered. “I know. But I still don’t understand your attachment. Must be a family thing.” He raised an eyebrow as Al looked out the window for the tenth time in about three minutes. “Don’t be so paranoid.”

Alphonse was a little irritated. “It’s not like a little glass would keep him out, if he wanted to come after us.”

“I know. But if he was going to attack tonight, it would have been outside.”

“How do you know?”

“Street smart?” The mongrel shrugged, unconcerned. “I tend to know this kind of things.”

“Don’t be fooled. They aren’t human. They might not follow your patterns.”

Roy was silent for a heartbeat. “Yes, I know. I’m not sure I want to know what they are.”

“But you’re going to try and find out anyway.” Alphonse rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible.”

Well, it was enough on that dark subject. Time to talk about something lighter. “So, do you try and rescue every cat and dog you come across?”

“I like animals,” said Al, as if apologizing. “Especially cats.”

Something clicked. “In the market…the day we met, you were in the pet shop, weren’t you? There’s nothing else there that could have interested you.”

A nod indicated Roy was correct. “If I could, I’d bring back a cat, but it’s not really safe. I’d be afraid he’d run off and…well, you know.”

“Be found by that Gluttony,” completed the dark-haired male. “I haven’t seen him yet but I believe I would know him at first glance.”

“You would.” Al grimaced. “But you’d prefer never to, trust me.”

“I do.” Roy waited for the blond to catch what he meant before offering a small smirk. The ‘friendly’ version of his smirk.

“Hum, thank you,” Alphonse replied, averting his eyes. “For back there. I wouldn’t have expected you to do that. I thought that, at the restaurant, you counted on us to cover you if it went bad. But I guess-“

“That I’m crazier than you thought?”

Al smiled. “Yeah, that too.”

“So, you like cats. I’m more of a dog person myself,” said Roy. “They’re loyal creatures. Cats are too…independent, unpredictable, and they tend to have a temper.”

“They’re also usually smaller than dogs,” added Alphonse, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Well, cats and dogs each have their merits. I like both really, even though they don’t always get along.”

They headed to catch up on sleep, and Al said nothing as Roy dropped on the couch instead of the floor, knowing the man would be off by morning and Edward wouldn’t have a clue.