Orphaned

Yay, I got a new laptop! It was from my brother as a belated Christmas present. My brother's awesome...Anyhow, enjoy!

Pepp: Lol, and I'm sure our innocent little Ed has not the slightest clue that he said such a dirty thing. Finally exams are done, lol. I got my grades back and got A's on all of my exams excpet math...I really can't explain why (I'm good at math, too!). Anyway...Heh, there's a milk incident, just for you! Ed does get a little excited by the cooking (not that kind of excited!). When they get together, Ed is definitely going to be the uke, you can count on that (wouldn't it be funny to see Roy being uke ot Ed, though? lol). That would also be very wrong, and I would have to make fun of Roy for it. Heh, give that toy hell! Thanks for reviewing!

Juna: That he is (hides)...he didn't hear that did he? Hopefully they won't all kill each other...not yet anyway, I need them for the fic! Thanks for reviewing!

PockyFille: Whatever he does, he's a rich bastard, isn't he? You'll find out what he does...eventually. Heh, the two sure ways to win Ed over: books and food. Hmm, let's hope breakfast goes well...thanks for reviewing!
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Roy smirked at the question, "Of course I can." he replied, "Who can't cook?"

"Ed can't." Al offered, looking up from his own ratty suitcase, "He actually burned water once. I didn't even think it was possible..."

Ed glared, "Thanks, traitor."

Al smiled, "Well, it's true. You can't cook."

Ed sighed, "So, what? If this guy can, then why should I have to?"

Roy raised an eyebrow, "Well, if you'll excuse this guy, he's going to go make breakfast for people who actually know his name."

Ed spun on his heel, "What? You can't do that! I know your name. It's...umm." he let his mouth hang open as the nameless man left the room, "Bastard!"

Roy chuckled, "Nope, try again." he called back.

Ed looked to his brother, "What's that bastard's name?"

Al shrugged, innocently, "I don't know." he lied, grinning.

Ed, however, was not finding this as funny and chased Al as he ran out of the room, "Al, get back here. Traitor!" he yelled as the two flew down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Roy had to jump back as the two flew into his kitchen, one blonde right on the other one's trail. He frowned as they dashed between his furniture, coming dangerously close to knocking it all over and starting a fatal chain reaction, "No running." he ordered, stopping Al immediately.

Ed wasn't as quick to listen, and smacked face first into his brother, sending them both tumbling to the ground, "Damn, Al, why'd you stop?"

"Because Mr. Mustang told us to." Al replied, standing up and brushing himself off.

Roy smirked at the title, "There's no reason to call me that, Al." he informed the younger brother as he set food out on the table, "Just call me..." he glanced to Ed, who was looking at him, waiting to hear the name, "by my first name." he finished, smirking yet again at the boy's glare.

"What's your name, damn it?" he demanded, standing up as well, "I'm hungry."

"Well, now if I told you, that would be cheating." Roy informed Ed.

"Cheating?" Ed repeated, then frowned, then glared, "You ass, this isn't a game!"

Roy laughed, "Of course it is. If you can't tell me my name, then you don't get to eat. Those are the rules."

Ed crossed his arms over his chest and looked away, pouting, "I don't want to live here." he stated.

Roy lost his smirk and frowned, "Why not?" he asked, almost teasingly.

"Because you're a bastard!" Ed snapped.

Al laughed nervously, "Ed always gets like this when he's hungry." he informed a shocked Roy, "Or angry at something. Or angry at someone. Or bored. Or tired. Or... actually, he's like this a lot."

Roy finished setting the table, "You know Ed, if you're hungry, you should really eat something."

"Very funny." Ed said, malice filling his voice, "Bastard." he added, almost unconsciously by now.

"Huh?" Roy asked, looking back and forth in between the brothers, "What's...oh." a smile spread across his face as he realized what Ed's problem was, "You... you thought I was serious?" he asked, trying to hold back his laugh. He knew that laughing at Ed probably wouldn't be the best thing to do right now.

Ed glanced at him, "You...weren't serious?"

Roy shook his head, pushing his fit of laughter elsewhere, "Of course not. I'm not that much of a bastard."

Ed glared, "That's still to be determined." he informed Roy as he rushed past him to the table, "And you better not have been lying about being a good cook." he said, a bit threateningly.

Al walked at a much calmer pace to the table, "Brother, it's not his fault if he can't cook well." he pointed out, "And he never said he was a good cook, just that he could cook. You can cook, too, though..." Al thought about it for a moment, "I'm not sure I would call the ending product food, exactly."

Roy chuckled as he sat down on the opposite side of the table from the brothers, "Well, no worries; I am a pretty good cook." he assured the two.

"Cocky bastard." Ed commented before shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth. His eyes widened as the flavor rushed through his mouth, "This...is..." he trailed off, looking up at Roy, a look of pure shock on his face.

Al looked between the two, a little worriedly, "Brother?" he asked, wondering what was wrong with the food.

"Well?" Roy asked, wondering if it really was bad. He'd never had a problem with it, and neither had anyone else who had eaten his cooking.

"AMAZING!!!!" Ed finally finished, snapping out of his daze, "I've never..." he trailed off once again, turning to Al, "Eat, Al, this food is..." he paused to shove some more in his mouth, making sure that it was really as good as he had imagined it. It was.

Roy grinned, "I've got to say, I think you're the first person that has lost their inablility to complete sentences over food." he noted, taking a bite of the food himself. He did have to admit that it was pretty good, but not nearly his best. He was a bit afraid to see what Ed would do if he tasted anything better, though it could be entertaining to see what he would do for some good food. Roy's smirk widened as he went through the possibilities.

"Wow, this is really good!" Al exclaimed, a mouth full of the fluffy eggs and crispy bacon hindering his ability to speak.

Ed turned to his brother, "Good? How dare you insult this miraculous cooking with such a mundane word as good?" he demanded.

"Umm, I'm sorry?" Al said, looking to Roy as if the older one would know how to respond. The latter, of course, just chuckled to himself and shook his head.

Ed huffed, "Well, you should be." he said. Satisfied that he had properly defended the food, he went back to eating it. Glancing around for a particular substance, Roy noticed that he had forgotten it. Sighing, he stood up. Ed's eyes followed him, "Where are you going?" he wondered, hoping that it was to make more food.

Roy opened his fridge, pulling out the desired item and holding it up, "Forgot the milk." he said, grabbing a few glasses on his way back to the table, "You boys want some?"

"Sure." Al said, snickering at Ed as he drank the entire glass in one drink.

Ed stared at his brother, horrified, "How...you...but...you're not my brother!" he finally cried, turning back to the comfort of his delicious food, shivering at the thought.

Roy raised an eyebrow as Al laughed and Ed continued to stuff his face, "Is he bipolar or something?" he whispered to Al.

Al shook his head, "Ed doesn't like milk." he explained.

"Doesn't like it doesn't even come close." Ed added, "The stuff is vile; it tastes like regurgitated puke!"

Roy smirked, "So, you want some, then?" he asked, puring a glass and setting it in front of Ed, "There you go." he went to pour his own glass, but paused, "Actually, since you seem to love milk so much, I'll just leave you the carton and take the glass." he offered, unable to keep his laugh supressed this time as Ed eyed the glass carefully.

When it was removed, the older brother relaxed a little, but golden eyes bulged out of his head as the entire carton was placed way too close to him, "Get that nasty stuff away from me!" he yelled, arms flailing. He managed to push the carton away...and send it flying across the room, finally coming to rest in a puddle on Roy's carpet.

Ed glanced warily at the white liquid pouring out of the carton and then shifted his gaze to Roy, who was raising an eyebrow at him, "Well, now you've done it." he said, looking to the ruined carpet, "I expect you'll clean it up?"

If it was possible, Ed's eyes got even wider, "You expect to go near that stuff?" he asked, pointing an accusing finger at the milk.

Roy nodded, "You did spill it, didn't you? If you don't clean it up quickly, it'll set in the carpet and the entire house will smell like milk."

Ed gaped at this revelation, "You're serious?" he asked, completely naive. Roy nodded, and with that nod, Ed shot into the kitchen and grabbed soap, a towel, and a cup of warm water, and quickly raced to the scene of the accident. If there was one thing he hated more than the taste of milk, it was the smell of it.
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Poor Ed, it wasn't his fault...Roy did put the vile stuff right next to him; what did he expect? Lol, I guess that's what you get when you live with Ed...sorry this is so short (cringes at the shortness), but the next chapter will be fun. Roy and Ed get their little heart to heart and...well, I won't tell you what happens. You'll just have to wait. Heh, I love being evil...review!