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The Sound of Silence	By : ZaKai Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 11395 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Review Replies:

Hikaru_9: Thank you for your
compliments.� gndmlvr01: *nods* yeah, actually we won�t see how Hawkeye reacts to
all of this until the epilogue.�
Sorry.� This story will have
twelve chapters, plus the prologue and the epilogue�a total of fourteen updates
total.� Sooo...
after this chapter there will be five more updates.� (you have to remember that Ed is 14 right
now, and he kills Mustang when he�s 18, so there are a couple more years yet
[they go by fast though])� milky: �*nods* Ed may be physically strong, but he�s
also so emotionally vulnerable.� It�s
just... so sad...� TrulyWished:� People can survive more
than you�d think, though they never come out of it unscarred (either physically
or emotionally).� kikiko:�
Yeah... I really hated that part, cause it�s
not like it�s easy to tell someone to stop abusing you.� T_T� Macvanaly:� No worries about not reviewing before, though
I am glad that you decided to drop me a line.�
Actually there are four more years until Ed kills him (Ed will be 18
when it happens).� I hate to break it to
you, but there won�t be any happiness in this for Ed.� He doesn�t enjoy what�s happening to
him.� Even when it feels good, or when
Mustang is kind to him, he doesn�t like it.�
In answer to your question, Yes, Roy�s
dad did molest him.� Roy was also physically and mentally abused,
but I really don�t go into it, only hint at it.�
I�m glad you enjoy my writing.� supefiedNarutard: �Sometimes people only really crack after the trauma.� They�re too busy surviving while it�s happening.� I�m sorry it hurt so much to read, but I�m
glad I was able to write it in a way that portrayed how really awful it is.� Aww, thankyou for saying that.� *is flattered*� Amethyst-eyed Koneko:� Sorry about distressing you so much :(� Roy
is actually my favorite character in FMA, and truthfully I hate writing about
him like this.� *hugs* I understand.� It�s hard to have an abusive authority
figure...� No matter what the degree of
the abuse, it�s still abuse, and it�s still destructive.� *nods* I use humor as a defense mechanism
too. *hugs again*� No
worries about the Hermaphrodite thing.�
This story is completely different ^_^� pheonixofthenight:
aww I�m sorry about that :(� krizcrayon:� Thank you for your compliments.� Tetsuo
Shima:�
Thank you.� You can be sure it
will not be abandoned.� Onyxlight:�
Thank you.�

-

The
Sound of Silence

Chapter
Seven

Guilt
and Manipulation

--

�Please, brother�� Please
tell me what�s wrong�.� Al whined, not for the first time, as Ed lay, hiding
under his blanket.

Ed thought that perhaps he should say something to his brother,
try to assure him in some way, but he couldn�t.�
He�d come home last night and, without a word, crawled into bed and
fallen asleep.� Ed thought that Al might
have tried to talk to him when he�d come home, but he couldn�t remember because
he�d been too focused on going to bed, on going to sleep and escaping this
hellish reality that was his life.�

He desperately wished he could forget what had happened in
Mustang�s office too, but he couldn�t...�
He couldn�t forget, and now it was morning...� He was supposed to get ready for the day, but
he just couldn�t.� It was if his mind was in some sort of stand
still.� All he could do was lay
there.� Besides all the mental anguish,
there was the physical pain...� Moving
hurt, just being awake hurt, and if he tried to get up it would be obvious
something was wrong.� What would he tell
Al?� How would he explain?

No, better to just stay in bed�

Better just to say quiet�

For once, Ed was truly grateful that Al insisted on getting a
hotel room instead of staying at the dorms.�
His brother didn�t like staying at the dorms, didn�t like the stares and
the questions that inevitably came from new recruits.� Even though Ed would insist that they should
stay there because it was free, he didn�t argue too much.� How could he?�
Al didn�t ask for all that much.�
Besides, fewer questions meant less chances of being found out... about
their human transmutation, and about what was going on with Mustang.� But this morning he was especially
grateful.� In the dorms, he would have
had to get up.� There were rules against
staying in bed all day�

�Brother� at least say
something. �Are you mad at me?� Al
pleaded, hurt confusion lacing through his voice.� A tear trickled down his cheek at the pain he
could hear in his brother�s voice.� No�
he wasn�t mad� he should say
something� Why couldn�t he make himself say something?� He wanted to, but he just couldn�t.�

He heard the clanking of Al�s steps move away from him, and then
the sound of him grabbing something�.

The phone�

He could hear the dial tone, then, �Hello?� Colonel Mustang?�

No, not him, Al...� Ed thought frantically and swallowed.� It would be only natural that Al would call
his commanding officer.� After all, Ed
would be late for work, so he needed to let someone know.

�Yes, this is Alphonse.�� A pause.� �Well, it�s
about brother� I don�t think he�s going to come in today.�� Another pause.� �I think he�s sick or something.� He won�t get out of bed and he won�t talk to
me at all.�� A slight pause and Ed heard
his brother whisper, �I think he�s mad at me, but I don�t know what I could
have done wrong...�

I�m not mad at you,
Al.�

�Oh well, sir, no you don�t have to do that.� Are you sure?�
Yes, of course.� Thank you,
colonel.� See you when you get here,� Al
said, then hung up the phone.

Fear and panic flashed through him and his whole body tensed.�

Mustang?�

Coming here?�

�Brother, the colonel is coming over to check on you� That�s
really nice of him, isn�t it?�� A pause,
then, �I told him you were sick� I mean� I think you might be� unless you�re
just mad at me and you don�t want to talk to me about it��

Another tear escaped Ed�s eye.�
He really needed to reassure Al� it wasn�t like Ed to ignore people�
but� if he said something, then his brother would want to know why he was being
ignored if the reason wasn�t that he was mad.�

No� better to let him think he was mad� the lesser of two evils�

Ed wasn�t sure how much time had passed when there was a knock on
the door.� When he heard it, he thought
he�d throw up.� It was stupid to be
scared, he told himself.� After all, Al
was here.� He would protect him, and
besides, the colonel wouldn�t try to hurt him while someone was around anyway�

Right?

�Colonel, thanks for coming,� he heard Al say.

�It�s no problem at all, Alphonse.�
He is my subordinate after all.�

There was a moment of silence, then Ed heard his brother whisper,
�Actually I don�t know if he�s really sick or not.� He just won�t talk to me��

�Don�t worry.� He probably
just caught a sickness that�s been going around; makes it so you can�t
talk.� I�m sure it has nothing to do with
you,� Mustang said reassuringly.

�You think so?� Al said, sounding relieved.

�Yes, I do.� Now, I�ve
written a small list of things that I�d like you to pick up if you would.� I�m going to give Ed the day off, so he�ll be
able to rest over the weekend.�

There was a moment of silence, then Al
said, �You don�t have to give me any money for it.� We have money��

�No� I� I insist.� Also, you
should probably buy him some food that he likes.� I�ve heard this sickness can take away the
appetite, so having something around that he really enjoys might entice him to
eat.�

�That�s a good idea,� Al agreed.

�I�ll tell you what, why don�t you go right now, and I�ll stay
with him while you�re gone so you don�t have to worry.�

Ed felt a wave of cold spread over his body and he could feel
himself begin to tremble uncontrollably.�
No... Al... Don�t leave me...
he thought.� Ed tried to force himself to
get up, to say he was fine and Mustang could just go fuck himself, but he couldn�t!� He just fucking couldn�t!� All he could do
was lay there in panic and fear...� Why
was he being like this?� Why?� Why? Why!

�Really?� Thank
you so much, colonel.� I�ll try to hurry
back,� Al said quickly.

�Don�t worry about hurrying.�
I need a break from all that paperwork anyway.�

Ed clenched his teeth together to stop them from chattering, and
squeezed his eyes shut, causing another tear to leak out.�

�Okay� if you don�t mind��

�I don�t,� Mustang affirmed.

�Would you mind if I dropped by the library to pick up a
few books for him?�

�Not at all.� Take
your time.�

Ed heard his brother�s footsteps as he crossed the room to the bed
and said, �Did you hear that, brother?�
I�m going to go pick up a few things for you, but the colonel said he�ll
stay here with you, okay?� I promise I
won�t be gone too long�� A pause, then a
whispered, �You are sick right?�

Ed nodded under the blanket.�
He was sure Al would be able to tell it was a nod, even if his head was
under the covers.�

�You�re not mad at me�?� Al asked hopefully.

He shook his head.� Now that
he had the story Mustang had cooked up to fall back on, he was able to do at
least that, but he still couldn�t talk, and he couldn�t make himself do
anything else.�

�Okay!� I�ll be back soon
then!� His brother said, sounding relieved.�

After the door shut, there was quiet in the hotel room.� The trembling in his body increased as he
heard the man walk toward the bed.�
Fearfully, Ed waited for Mustang to do something, or to say something,
and as the minutes stretched on in silence his apprehension grew.

After a long time, he heard the colonel sigh softly, then sit down
on the edge of the bed.� When he felt the
blankets being pulled back, Ed wanted to keep a hold of them, but didn�t
dare.� He felt so vulnerable, lying on
his stomach, head faced away from the man, but he couldn�t force himself to
move.� He felt the blanket stripped
completely off of him and felt suddenly grateful that he hadn�t undressed
before going to bed.� It wasn�t much, but
at least he was covered.

�Ed�� Mustang said softly, but the boy didn�t respond.� He couldn�t...� �Ed, you should get out of these clothes��

Why?� So you can take me again? the
fourteen-year old thought bitterly.

The young teen flinched slightly when he felt a touch on his
back.� �It�s alright�
just� just relax, okay?� the other alchemist soothed, continuing to rub
Ed�s back gently.� �You should bathe
too��

Ed frowned in confusion.�
The colonel sounded so� timid� unsure� �What was
this?� Something was different here,
but he couldn�t put his finger on it� what was it?�

�I�m going to pick you up, alright?� You need to get into some clean clothes.�

There was an awkward pause, as if Mustang really believed Ed would
answer him, then he felt himself being carefully
lifted and carried toward the bathroom.�
It hurt, being moved, and when he was set down on his feet in the
bathroom, he nearly collapsed.�

The colonel closed the lid on the toilet and sat down in front of
Ed, but the boy only looked down.� He
didn�t want to look up.� Didn�t want to
face what was going to happen�� He heard
the water being turned on in the tub, then the man
said softly, �Do you want me to undress you, or will you undress yourself?�

He had a choice?

Ed thought of undressing himself, but decided against it.� He didn�t want to willingly get naked in
front of Mustang right now� if the man wanted him undressed, then he could do
it...

The colonel seemed to understand, after the teen stood there for
several minutes without moving, and slowly began taking Ed�s clothes off.� The jacket and tank top were quickly removed,
but when he reached for the belt, Mustang�s movements slowed.�

His fingers rested lightly on the metal of the buckle and Ed heard
him swallow loudly before starting to undo the belt.� An involuntary whimper escaped Ed�s lips and
Mustang stopped again.� In a shaky voice,
the colonel whispered, �I�m not going to hurt you� I� I swear� I�.� his voice
trailed off as he began undoing the belt again.�

When the belt was off, Mustang very gently pulled Ed�s pants
down.� Unfortunately, the leather had
fused itself to Ed�s raw legs and rear over the night and as the pants came
off, so did some of the skin.� Ed bit
hard on his lip to keep from crying out in pain.

�I know it hurts�� he said, then
whispered, �Trust me� I know�� Ed wasn�t
sure what that meant, and he didn�t really care at the moment.� He just waited numbly for the man to do what
he was going to do.

�Turn around so I can undo your braid more easily,� Mustang said
softly, and for a moment Ed hesitated.�
Turning his back to the colonel was the last thing he wanted to do, but
if he didn�t� The blond turned slowly, his heart beating hard in his
chest.� Please don�t... he thought miserably, Please don�t hurt me again... Ed felt
the colonel gently pull out the hair tie and slowly undo his messy braid.

He heard the other alchemist pick something up off the counter,
then felt a brush being pulled carefully through his hair.� It felt nice� Ed always liked it when someone
else was brushing his hair.� Usually it
was Al, though Winry had done it during the time he was recovering from the
automail surgery as it grew longer.

But, of course, this was Roy Mustang�� The man always tried to calm him down before
he did something to him; it was his way.�
Ed tried not to let himself enjoy it too much.� He couldn�t let his guard down.

�Well that should do it,� the colonel said, and put the brush
down.� The boy felt large hands grab him
and turn him around before shutting the water off.� �Now, Ed, I want you to get into the
tub.� I know it will be uncomfortable,
but try getting on your hands and knees.�
Your wounds need to be cleaned or else they�ll get infected.�

Get on his hands and knees�?�
He swallowed nervously, but stepped into the shallow hotel bath tub and
did as he was told. The water came up to his stomach and where it touched the
parts of his skin on his legs that had been beaten, it burned terribly.�

�This might hurt a bit, but it needs to be done,� he heard Mustang
say, then felt the man�s hands, lathered with soap,
rub carefully against the back of his legs and his rear.� Ed sucked air sharply through his teeth and
squeezed his eyes shut.� �Hurt� wasn�t
exactly the word he would have used for this.�
�Sting� was more what he was feeling.�
When the older alchemist was finished, he poured water over Ed�s body to
wash away the soap, then said, �We should wash your
hair too.� It�s filthy.�

Not in the mood to argue, and he supposed it probably wouldn�t
have mattered if he was, Ed nodded his head and a moment later the colonel was
pouring water over his head.� Ed endured
the washing, each moment wondering what would happen next, and finally, after
what seemed like forever, Mustang pulled the plug on the drain and told him to
get up.�

After being dried off, the colonel carried Ed back to his bed and
laid him down on his stomach.� Mustang
sat beside him and he heard a cap being unsnapped, then the wet sound of
something being squeezed from a tube.

Ed tensed in fear.� This
must be it� Now Mustang was going to do him again like he had last night�

�This is going to help you heal,� Mustang said, then
began applying a cold, slimy cream to Ed�s skin.� For a moment there was silence, then the colonel said, �You know this is all your fault,
right?� I mean� if you weren�t so
reckless��

Ed�s fingers tightened on the sheets and he turned his head away
from the older man.

�Also you shouldn�t have lied to me.� Really, Ed� I deserve better than that.� I don�t think a little honesty is too much to
expect after all I�ve done for you,� Mustang continued in a hurt tone.�

Tears came unbidden to the boy�s eyes and he tried to blink them
away, but it did no good.� It was so
frustrating to hear the colonel say these things to him.� Maybe this really was all
his fault� Mustang had done a
lot for him and Al�� And even though a
lot of the time Ed had to �pay� for what the colonel did or information he
gave, it wasn�t always like that.

When the man�s fingers gently pressed into Ed�s entrance, the teen
stiffened.� �Some of this cream should be
in here too�� Mustang said in an off-hand manner before saying, �I know it�s
the way of teenagers, but I�d hoped that you might just be a little more mature
than how you�ve been acting.� You�ve been
really selfish. �I hope that from now on
you�ll be able to think about other people as well as yourself.�

I think about
others... Ed thought miserably and pressed his face into the mattress when
he felt the urge to let a sob break from him.�
He was mature� really� well, sometimes maybe he wasn�t, but most of the time he was�

When the colonel finished, he got up and put the bottle in the
bathroom.� �Do you have any pajamas?�
Mustang asked as he returned, and Ed shook his head.� �Alright� well, a pair of boxers will work
fine too, and I know you have those.�

Ed decided not to grace that with an answer and after a moment the
colonel said, �I�m going to look in your suitcase unless there�s somewhere
else�?�

Again the teen said nothing.�
What did he care if Mustang rummaged through his luggage?� There wasn�t that much in there anyway�The
man found what he was looking for quickly enough, and put them on Ed.�

�Normally it would be best not to put anything on until you�re
more healed, but it might be best if your brother doesn�t see this.�� The colonel paused, then
went on slowly.� �In fact, it would be
best if no one knew about this Ed.� After
all, I�d hate for people to start asking the wrong questions and find out about
you and your brother. �You know how these
things can be; best to just avoid any unwanted attention, right?�

Ed sniffed and nodded.�
Yeah, it would be better he supposed�

He felt the blanket being pulled up over his body, then Mustang
said, �I�m feeling pretty forgiving today, so let�s just put this whole thing
behind us, alright?� I�m willing to
forget this whole thing ever happened.�
After all, you are my
subordinate.� �Ed felt Mustang�s hand
begin to rub his back again.� �And, of
course, we understand each other.� Right,
Ed?� We�re close; we understand each
other�s� needs� right?� Some secrets are
just meant to be kept.� Right�?� Ed�?�

--

Chapter Notes:� For anyone wondering why there are almost no visual
descriptions in this chapter�that was done on purpose. This chapter was written differently from the other chapters of
this story because of Ed�s mental state.�
I decided to write this almost strictly from an audio and physical
sensory point of view as if Ed was trying (if subconsciously ) to block out his
physical surroundings because his mind was still too much in shock to handle it
all.

--

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The Sound of Silence