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Unforgivable	By : thePrincesJewel Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Vegeta had to smile at the look of absolute confusion on Kakarot�s face. �You have no idea what I mean, do you?�

�No. She�s my daughter. Zweb�s her mother.�

�I know perfectly well that Zweb is not biologically compatible with a Saiyan. I would wager that Radda is an adopted daughter.�

�Oh, yeah. She is. You mean that would have made a difference?�

�Most definitely. I was forced to eat Bulma�s cooking last night while she recounted what happened. She cannot cook well when she is mad, and she was beyond furious with you for breaking your marriage vows and then not confessing it for� how many years has it been?�

�But I didn�t break my vows. Why would she be mad at me for something I didn�t do?�

Vegeta rolled his eyes, and then stifled another laugh when he realized Goku was counting on his fingers to figure out the years. �You didn�t tell them she was adopted, Kakarot.�

�Grandpa Gohan never called me adopted.�

�Your Grandpa Gohan wasn�t married to a shrew. Bulma and the rest of them think that you cheated on Chi-Chi with Zweb.�

�I did not!� Goku yelped in dismay. �She was pregnant when I met her!�

I need more patience. Vegeta studied Kakarot a moment. �I read you.�

Instant stillness, except for one hand that clenched the blankets just a little closer. The dismay faded from Goku�s eyes to be replaced by fear as he retreated mentally from the statement and the images it recalled, his body stiff, unable to move.

�You are an innocent, Kakarot, unwilling to believe that there is anyone who cannot be redeemed. Everyone you meet must be given second and even third chances. You take almost everything at face value, rarely looking to see if there is a deeper meaning. You hide your pain, your fear, and your grief well enough that no one knows you can do anything but smile and fight. Your anger you take out in training or sparring, when you can. You have friends you would trust with your life, but no one you trust with your self.� Hard, dark eyes softened slightly. �I know what that is like.�

�But you don�t cry.�

�I have.� Vegeta glanced away, his jaw tightening. �When I was on Namek, when I thought I would die, and it wouldn�t matter if anyone saw. I never told anyone why I hated Frieza so much, why I was determined to destroy him. It wasn�t just because of what he did to our people, it was� what he did to me.�

�I know. You told me.�

�I did?! When?�

�The day before you came to my house. You asked me if I thought you liked raping me, if I thought you enjoyed discovering you were no better than Frieza, taking an unwilling Saiyan to prove your power over him. You said you�d refused to do that, even though he gave you special attention afterward, that you relived through me what you lived through with him. I know what you did to me, it doesn�t take a genius to know what you meant.� And I�m no genius.

�No� it wouldn�t.�

�I told you it never happened. I destroyed the pills, the needle you had.� Vegeta winced at the reminder of his weakness. �And then I put you to bed and went home. I was hoping you�d think it was all a really long bad dream, I guess.�

�A strategy worthy of you,� Vegeta replied dryly. �You didn�t expect me coming to your house.�

�Well, I should have. I realized that when you got there. And that I would have to act normal.�

Vegeta snorted. �Normal. You decided you�d have to hide your feelings about what had happened, just like you hide everything else. To spare me, the way you spare the others.�

�That�s normal,� Goku whispered. �I�ve been doing it so long now. Ever since� ever since� I can�t remember. Zweb told me she thinks I hide so much of my pain from them that I hide it from myself, so they won�t notice and ask me questions I don�t want to answer. I was going to the pool, where I could be alone, where nobody could ask me what was wrong.�

�And you certainly wouldn�t want to answer questions about something neither of us wanted to remember. Why were you crying at the pool this time? You will answer me, Kakarot. Having your friends mad at you is nothing new.�

Goku hunched up, his arms circling his knees and his head dropping to rest on them. His voice was nearly inaudible. �They asked me why my clothes were bloody. Why I went to some other woman�s house instead of coming home. They asked where I�d left the clothes. And they thought I was lying to them when I told them I didn�t know where the clothes were, and that I hadn�t wanted Chi-Chi to see me in the condition I was in, and that they didn�t need to know why my clothes were ruined. They just kept asking and asking. I had to get away from them.�

Those questions would force all the memories he�s probably kept at bay this whole time to the front. The fear in his eyes, his voice, the way he moves - he hasn�t dealt with it at all. If he represses everything� Vegeta�s eyes narrowed. Kakarot had repressed the original incident so firmly it showed up only in nightmares. �Did you talk to Zweb about any of it?�

�Yes.�

�Why?�

�Why?� Goku raised his head. �What do you mean?�

�You didn�t tell your wife. You didn�t tell your best friends. Why would you tell a woman you haven�t seen since your son was a small child?�

�Oh!� The slightest glimmer of a smile. �Because since she doesn�t know any of you, she doesn�t think she has to go plotting revenge. Besides, she lives too far away to do that.�

Vegeta fell out of the chair. �I think,� he said, picking himself up, �that you need to go back home and tell your wife that your daughter is adopted. And if she doesn�t believe you, send her to me. I�ll give her an earful.�

�You�d do that for me?�

Vegeta stared down at the disbelief in the dark eyes. �Yes, Kakarot.�

�Why? I thought you hated me.� Goku didn�t wait for an answer. �You always insult me, call me a fool, or low class, or a clown. Why would you help me? And why are you being nice all the sudden?�

�Nice?� Vegeta glared, outraged. �I am not being nice!�

Goku shrank away. �I�m sorry.�

Vegeta heaved a long-suffering sigh. �You are not the only one with secrets, Kakarot. And even I need to talk sometime. Besides� I owe you an apology for what I did.�

�You� what?� Goku asked faintly.

�I�m sorry, okay?� Vegeta snapped. �I shouldn�t have� done that. I haven�t even got a reasonable excuse for it.�

Goku asked one of the stupidest questions of his life. �Do you still think I�m beautiful?�

He had dressed in the clothes Zweb had made for him. He took the money he had in one of the drawers. And he left through the window, unwilling to face any of the house�s inhabitants. His first stop was the pool, in spite of everything bad that had happened there. It was his place, where he dreamed the few dreams he still cherished.

Goku paced the edge of the pool, searching for the solace he usually found. Here is where I have always come, for so long now. I cry here, where no one sees me. I dream here, where no one can laugh at me. How long have I been crying? When did I lose my dreams? Where is the peace I once felt, even when things were bad? I was peaceful, weeding Zweb�s garden, but I could be, there. Here�

Here there are only memories of him. Goku rose slowly into the air, casting a regretful look around the area. Then he shot off toward home. Home. If only� He touched down at the edge of the yard

�What are you doing here?� His wife�s voice was dangerous and very unfriendly.

�I didn�t explain things very well last night. I wanted to let you know about Radda, that she�s�� He got no further.

�I don�t care anything about her. Your stuff is in here. Take it and get out. I don�t want you coming back - ever.� Chi-Chi threw a capsule on the ground at his feet.

�But, Chi-Chi! I never��

�Get out!� she screamed.

He stooped to pick up the capsule. For one long moment, he stared down at it, then looked up. �I wanted to�� He was forced to deflect an attack by his enraged wife. �Chi-Chi, please! Listen to me!�

�GET OUT! Get out, get out get out!� She came at him, swinging the ax she�d been chopping wood with.

Goku fled. At first, he had no destination, still confused by Chi-Chi�s reaction to his wish to explain. It wasn�t until he began visiting his friends that he realized no one was willing to listen, or to give him a place to stay. When he at last returned to Capsule Corp., Bulma met him at the door. She handed him a capsule, then shut the door in his face.

He stood there, staring at the door. Finally, he turned. She hadn�t given him the chance to even try to explain. She hadn�t said a word. He walked away, and kept walking until he fell over, too exhausted take another step. The next day was fairly similar. Goku walked dazedly, unable to understand how people who had known him for so many years could believe that he had lied to them for most of his life.

I thought they knew me. I thought they would listen when I explained my daughter was adopted. They didn�t even give me a chance to get that said. Where am I supposed to go now? What do I do? I don�t understand what happened! Why is the world backwards? Vegeta being nice and everyone else being cruel. I don�t understand. What did I do that was so wrong no one will give me a chance now? What did I do?

Vegeta walked into the room. The empty room. He shot a swift look around, then yanked open the closet door, the dresser drawers. The lock on the desk drawer yielded to his sharp yank. He picked up the sheaf of papers within. Kakarot wouldn�t have packed the books and left this behind. He went in search of his wife.

�You did what?�

�I packed it up and handed it to him when he came here.�

�Why?�

�Vegeta! I told you what he did! I will not be letting him stay here.�

�He didn�t do a damned thing, woman. His daughter is adopted.�

�Then why didn�t he say that?� she challenged. �He said she was his daughter, his and Zweb�s. Whoever she is.�

�She�d be a citizen of Yardrat, a planet of people who are biologically incompatible with Saiyans,� Vegeta snapped. �If you had taken time to listen to him, you�d know that!�

�How do you know who she is?�

�Onna, are you blind? That ridiculous outfit he was wearing? It was nearly identical to what he was wearing when he came back after Namek blew up.�

�What?� She was silent for just a moment. �Wait a minute. How do you know what he was wearing?�

�Because I found him after you fools tore him apart! He spent himself completely, crying over it. I brought him here to rest, and talked with him after he woke up. I had thought something of great magnitude had happened, to make him cry like that. But it was nothing more than his friends giving him a hard time.�

�Oh, and I suppose he gave you the whole line about going to that woman�s house naked because he didn�t want to wear bloody clothes?� she snapped.

�He told me,� Vegeta snapped back.

�Did he tell you why they were bloody, or why he didn�t just go home to change?�

Vegeta stared at her, his eyes growing cold, hard, and unyielding. �He didn�t need to.�

�Oh? You didn�t think it was important?�

�He did not need to tell me because I already knew,� he replied, his words clipped and sharp.

�Enlighten me.�

�One year ago, he went to a place that had been his sanctuary. And in that place, for the second time, by the same person, he was savagely raped,� Vegeta spat.

Bulma�s face paled, her hand going to her throat. �No!�

�Oh, yes. Both times, he�d been left with broken bones. Both times, he�d been left bleeding. And both times, he was raped by someone he knew.� Ice cold eyes bored into dismayed blue ones. �Would you have wished to speak of such things?�

It finally occurred to Goku that he had no idea what was in the capsule that Bulma had given him. Not that he didn�t have a pretty good guess, but she could have packed him some food! He tossed it. POOMPH! Shades of orange and blue covered the grass. His clothes. The photos, knickknacks, and books he�d had at her house.

Might as well get it over with. The other capsule divulged more of his clothes, and the assortment of odds and ends he�d collected throughout his life. It was the sight of the ring he had once given Chi-Chi that snapped what was left of his spirit. He picked it up, rolling it between his fingers, his eyes dully regarding the way it gleamed in the bright sunshine.

A brief blast of power cut a raw gouge into a nearby hill. He gathered up all of the clothes, and most of the other items, dumping them in. He kept only a few photos and trinkets, and buried the rest. Goku fashioned a tiny headstone, and used his chi to inscribe a brief message on it. �That� ought to help.� He walked away.

-------------------------
Vegeta: As if.

Jewel: Yeah, I�m kinda wondering about that too.

Goku: Huh?

Jewel: I think that�s just too far out of character, even if he�s already ooc.

Vegeta: Ya think?

Jewel: Hey, talk like yourself, not me. And I already told you, I don�t like to think.

Goku: Hurts your head, doesn�t it?

Jewel: Yep!

Vegeta: Why did I have to be the one doing the raping?

Goku: ????

Vegeta: Never mind. I did not just ask that.

Jewel: Oh good. There for a sec, I was worried. I think I�ll edit the story, and let everyone wonder what the devil we�re talking about.

Vegeta: Do that.

Jewel: Done!

Vegeta: I suppose that�s an improvement.

Jewel: Damn me with faint praise, why don�t you?

Goku: Oh, be nice to each other!

V & J: No!
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Unforgivable