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Gone	By : TristaML Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10329 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or any of the characters. I do not make any money off of writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Macha: I'm gonna have to see about the transformations... I will have more of them, i can promise you that much! This chapter should be an explicit one for sure! Thank you for R&Ring! Enjoy :D

Ninth Chapter

I can feel it again, that pleasurable warmth in my groin, spreading through me, making me think of things I shouldn’t speak of. I wake to it after nearly every nap, and I can’t help but seek to satisfy myself. The desire for release leaves me desperate.

I can barely hear myself let out a soft moan as I stretch my body out on the large soft cushions on the comforter, enjoying the feeling of arousal that’s settled within me. It’s so easy to imagine him here with me, preoccupying my mouth with his lips; I always did have an oral fixation. I hitch my breath as though it’s his kiss that’s cutting off my circulation and moan again as I run a hand through my hair.

Sitting up onto my elbow and pulling off the thin sheet that covered me, I press my right hand firmly down my chest and abs, lightly raking my nails over my skin. I slide my hand underneath my briefs and fist my erection confidently. Falling off my elbow, I let my head hit the pillow and a shaky breath escapes my lips. I squirm into the bed as I pump my shaft in my hands before playing with the tip of my penis, swiping some of the precum off of it with my index finger. I slowly bring it to my mouth to taste myself. It turns me on to think of what he would think of watching me do this. I suck my finger into my mouth and pump it in and out a few times, reveling in my raunchy thoughts. It does nothing to stop the heat that’s coursing through my body.

My left hand cups my balls and squeezes them gently as my right hand goes back to work with my dick, pumping slowly at first, though rough and bold. My legs spread apart to their own accord and I moan again, this time a little louder, no one is around to watch me get myself off, I can do so as I please without worrying about any interruptions or embarrassment. This moves me forward, inclining me to do more than just jack off.

I bite my lower lips gently as I stop pumping and begin to play nimbly with myself again, not really trying to bring release, just enjoying the sensations. I look around the room briefly, wondering what I should use this time, since I didn’t pack a dildo should somebody just so happen to catch a glimpse of it preparing to travel with me. Nothing I have would be enough, not even if I had a dildo, it wouldn’t fill me as completely as he does, or satisfy me to his extent.

I let out another shaky breath, intolerably aroused and planning on bringing it to its delighting completion; I get up from the bed, still fisting my rock hard dick as I walk around looking for a substitute.

I try to think back on what I’ve used the last few times I’ve desired to feel penetration, but I want something else, something new, and it’s so hard to think with a hard on. Briefly some of my training equipment catches my eye. The bar that holds the weights- that’ll work. Thick and hard and long, all I have to do is figure out a way to fuck it.

I walk over to the stand and remove the weights from both sides of the steel, running my hand along the smooth surface, breathing hard out of my thoughts, as though I had just gotten finished working out. Licking my lips, my right hand back to cupping my balls underneath my erection, I take the object off of its stand and walk to where I can position one of its ends into a corner of the room, where I know it will stay and not slide to one side or the other and I’ll be able to lever myself onto it.

The bar is long, so I’m no where near the wall where it touches, and I get down onto my knees, facing the metal, and I prepare to take it into my mouth. I briefly think how uncomfortable I would be if any one ever saw me or knew I did something like this to myself, or how I enjoyed it. Not as much as him, never, but I need something more than just my hand right now.

As I take the metal into my mouth and wet it as far down as I think is necessary I imagine it’s him. I can practically taste him as I take pleasure in being choked by his perfect cock. My hands go back to work, pumping my enlarged member and squeezing my thighs as I continue to prepare my home-found toy.

I can feel my body quiver, my mind reels as thoughts of his hands pushing on my skin take over, he could force me into position, but he doesn’t have to. His soft voice tells me to turn my back to him, and I do, looking behind me as I position the wetted bar at my entrance. My breathing increases with every moment I attempt to push it through. I am visibly shaking as I excitedly await its entry, my tail wraps around it twice. I let out a quick shout as it finally breaks through and slowly sink backwards onto it without hesitation, moaning out my pleasure at being filled.

My tail keeps it from moving with me, holding the other end in its place at the crack in the wall as I gather myself into some sort of rhythm. I throw my head back, moaning out my enjoyment as I continue to penetrate myself with the oddly chosen object.

“Oh. Hhh-Kakarot,” I whimper to myself honestly, my face flushed as my eyes come to a close, one hand on my thigh while the other fists and flurries my engorged penis.

I sink lower to the ground in my euphoria, my knees widening, my body rocking the hard item in and out of me enjoyably. I put one hand on the ground out in front of me and arch my back as I allow it to sink deeper inside of me. This goes on for quite some time as I imagine his rough hands all over my skin, his breath hot on my neck, and his tender voice in my ear telling me to cum.

No sooner than I wanted I let myself be overtaken. Moaning again into the air I cry out and clamp up for a moment as I let the hot white flash course through me and thrill my body, spilling myself out onto the floor in front of me. I immediately removed the bar, waiting a few more seconds before I stood up and walked away, planning on cleaning up the evidence later. I certainly wasn’t going to hang out around it.

Letting out another shaky, though albeit more satisfied, breath I jumped back onto the bed having it in my mind to attempt to sleep once again. My eyes wouldn’t even close. My body was awake even though I wished it would just quit sometimes.

It steered me out of this particular room in the ship and up the stairs, to the upper level, where the control panel and the rest of my accommodations were held.

I sat down onto the ground, and closed my eyes, attempting to find and focus my center.

---

Vegeta couldn’t stop thinking of Kakarot. He had tried desperately and although he supposed it was normal, it still bothered him since there was nothing out here to remind him of the other man, and no reason to return to his memory. He guessed he had to make sense of things in his mind otherwise he would never move on. The only problem was he had already done that and it was still taking too long.

He knew how it must have looked- like he was a love-sick fool who couldn’t bear to be around any longer since he’d been dumped, so he jumped the planet. Pathetic, but his interests in Goku meant more to him than he could explain.

He wasn’t asking for much, he never did burden others with his personal needs, just to be considered something other than a “friend.” He couldn’t handle Kakarot in that category, what with his stupid smile that he tries to hide himself behind and his ridiculous ability to always be preoccupied, Vegeta didn’t want to stand by and wait for him to come around every once in a while to chat. He never had been interested in befriending Goku. From the moment he’d heard his fight over the communication of Raditz’s scouter he knew he had to meet this Saiyan who called himself otherwise. Once he did know Goku, which he did, better than Kakarot knew himself, his whole being told him there was no other. He wanted to stand beside him as a part of him, not take up a portion of his time.

He didn’t see why it had to be so complicated. He wondered if he should have stayed that day and tried to fight for him instead of walking away and leaving it alone like Kakarot had suggested. What would he have said to him to make him change his mind? What would he have done? What would he have given? (What wouldn’t he…?) He wanted Kakarot to understand where he was coming from but he didn’t know how to explain it, and Kakarot’s disinterest seemed so irrefutable.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed him by, he knew it had to be to the note of months, maybe even a year, but certainly time was ticking. He was constantly training and when he couldn’t bring himself to train he meditated, but that was becoming more burdensome than helpful.

He had come to realize quite a few things out of his meditations, however. That Goku was on the verge of losing control the entire time they were together for his rut was one. That’s what it was all about, the raw, frantic sex, yet the soft looks, and tender touch, that was Kakarot in the throws of irrationality. The crude questions in other languages alongside the coy submission- that was the real Kakarot, deep inside. He is two extremes with neither more dominant than the other.

The man is a Saiyan, much more than he realizes, and probably more than he wants to admit. That pisses Vegeta off. If Kakarot was an earthling as he so calls himself, he wouldn’t have the capabilities that he has- and he wouldn’t have the hold on Vegeta that he does. Vegeta knew that even when his heart healed he would still miss Goku. Yes, he knew he would never meet anyone else like him, not even in the slightest way.

Gohan was well underway to experiencing his own transformation, was another thing Vegeta had realized. He could practically smell it on him. He suspected a few more years, but he didn’t lead on that he was so close when he had asked about it. He didn’t want to tell him, lest he become anxious over its effects or try to egg it on, but he was certain of it and was impressed so soon. The half-breed was displaying signs of aggression and he knew the wondering thoughts of Gohan’s mind well. It wouldn’t be long before the kid actually grew a pair and started out on his own, making his own decisions. The thought made Vegeta smirk even in all his self-absorbed musings.

A strange noise on his control panel blipped at him. He got up from his seated position on the floor, not taking any distraction that came his way for granted. He walked all the way to the other side of his ship and sat in the seat, noting the noise’s origin. It was just alerting him that a planet was nearby. He checked the details of it with little concern; even the spectacular view from his screen was not enough to capture his interests. It was just another tiny, simple planet, with nothing to offer him.

He turned off the signal and stood up walking away from the command center. He dropped to the floor and began to do push ups.

It didn’t matter how much time had gone by so far, it has not been enough, and so he will keep going. Perhaps he’ll come across a place in space that feels right, and maybe then he could let it all go.

---

                Gohan couldn’t stop thinking about what was headed their way. He was not at all concerned about the approaching travelers even though his Dad had recommended being on guard. Gohan didn’t suspect his father was too worried either though and he, for whatever reason, just didn’t think they would have any trouble. He was more excited about it if anything.

He knew Bulma said it wouldn’t be too much longer now, three months, and he wondered how powerful these things were. He could sense them by now; still, he knew he could never be too sure. Maybe he should be finding it something to worry about but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than anxiously await their arrival. He only wished Vegeta were here, he would be ready to meet them halfway across the galaxy.

                He had been neglecting Videl for a while up until this point, more so than before even. He spent more time with his two year old daughter (who he absolutely adored). Still Videl trailed right along. Once news got out of the aliens, she clung to Gohan even tighter. He could see where there was fear and confusion in her and he understood, but it bothered him. He didn’t need anything tying him down right now and she couldn’t understand that. That and he couldn’t tell her. He wanted to be free, rid of any rudimentary attachments to start something new, and was trying to stop himself from becoming resentful of his decision to settle down so early on in his life. He knew he was restless, and there was nothing wrong with that- after all, he is his father’s child.

                He envied Vegeta now more than he was upset with him. The man could just up and leave them all (just like his Dad) when Gohan struggled with simple questions of how to live his own life without hurting anyone else’s feelings or not living up to somebody else’s standards.

Gohan felt things were changing for him fast, inside and out. He felt alive with a great swirl of emotion for months now. He knew it was because he was beginning to see things a little differently with Vegeta out of the picture. Somehow his distance had cleared Gohan’s mind of most of his inhibitions and distraction. He was hitting a pivotal point, even Piccolo had taken notice of the change and said so, and the paradigm shift was not over yet. He’d already wanted something else for himself, now it was just about how to get it.

He stopped asking his father for advice and showing up to train with him altogether. He wanted to do it on his own, like Piccolo and Vegeta (and of course, like Goku). No one was around to push them to the next level, they did it themselves. They constantly worked to improve themselves in every way. He knew deep inside of him were all the answers he’d ever been searching for.

Well, almost all of them. Gohan had yet to talk to his father about what happened, not really wanting to rock the boat anymore than it was already swaying. Goku has not mentioned Vegeta’s name once since he left. It irks Gohan to watch him to act like the other man never existed, then again, what does he expect him to say? He can’t very well be expecting him to tell him every dirty detail. Is that what he really wants to know? Or does he just want to know whether to blame his father or not?

Gohan would eventually find the right time and place to confront his father and he knew that when he did he would have to give some answers for his side as well. Like why he cares so much and what Vegeta really meant to him. He wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. In the meantime, he tried his best not be bitter at his father’s lack of action in concern with anything that dealt with his personal life.

To the boys, Gohan had successfully become their worst enemy. They knew he did it out of love, but sometimes they weren’t sure if it was love for them or love for Vegeta. He pushed them harder than ever and became tougher than they thought Gohan capable of being. Goten and Trunks noticed something change in his demeanor during the last year. He was as consistent as ever and attentive to detail in all of his works. He was always dogging them for laziness and passivity. He seemed to be a completely renewed man. Gohan hadn’t changed in personality really- he just sort of stepped into it.

Trunks liked what he was seeing of Gohan more than Goten did. To Goten, Gohan was just his newly annoying big brother, but Trunks could tell he was taking charge and he didn’t mind as much as his friend being told what to do by the older half-Saiyan. He was glad to have Gohan around more often, but kept that to himself since he knew Goten doesn’t need to know it.

The boys often stayed up late talking about Vegeta and if ever came back. They would tell him all about the terrible training Gohan had put them through, and hopefully impress him with how strong they’d become. They would ask him where he went, what type of worlds he saw and what monsters he fought. Trunks realized he could have already been asking his father these questions when he was here but he never did. Neither one of them thought that he would entertain their wild imaginations, not for a minute.

In all honesty it wasn’t that different having him out of their lives. He seldom talked to any of them but at least Trunks knew he was around. At least he could feel his presence and see him walking around where ever he pleased.

Goten felt for Trunks, he remembered what it was like not to have a dad around growing up. He always let him talk without interrupting late at night when Trunks needed to get things off his chest, which was rare for the child, since he wanted now more than ever to be like his strong-willed father. Goten didn’t want for Gohan or Goku to be sad that Vegeta was gone, but most of all he wanted Trunks to be happy again. Nothing stung his heart like the frown on his friend’s face that came ever so often when he thought no one was looking.

They theorized amongst themselves what Gohan’s problem with Goku was but neither of them had been bold enough to ask either of the two any questions. At first, they hadn’t suspected anything at all, the separation between father and son wasn’t obvious, but after Gohan laughed bitterly at a comment Goten made about asking for Goku’s assistance in training, they started catching on. Trunks thinks that Gohan is mad because he thinks it’s Goku’s fault his father left but Goten disagrees. Goten thinks Vegeta left for Vegeta and that Gohan is mad because Goku didn’t try to stop him when he very easily could have at least said something. Goten thinks Gohan was in love with Vegeta, but Trunks disagrees, no, not in love, and as the older of the two the conversation always ends at that. Both of them knew there was something going on, but they never got any answers, partly because the people to ask were simply intimidating, even when they weren’t trying to be.

Goten could say just about anything he wanted to Gohan before, but recently he’s been minding his P’s and Q’s. There was something new in Gohan that put him in the “off-limits” category. Usually Trunks could say whatever was on his mind to Gohan, however, it’s seemed like a bad idea each time he tried to summon up the courage to ask a private question to Gohan ever since Vegeta left. They wondered if it was something in Gohan’s training that had helped him achieve this new level or what it was exactly. The two young boys had always felt inferiorities and a great deal of respect towards Goku and Vegeta, and none of the eldest Saiyans had ever been cross with the them, it just seemed natural for them to submit to the greater, even unspoken will of the other.

When they weren’t going on and on about their families they talked tirelessly about the space ships that were on the way to Earth. It was the most exciting thing since Buu and they couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen. Gohan egged them on in their enthusiasm, welcoming their minds to wonder at the possibilities. All three of them were ready for those intruders to be here already.

But they had other things to attend to like their mothers, school, and Gohan’s insistent training regimen. For Gohan he has work and Bulma to help out with the boys. Oh, and a family, too. All of it so boring compared to the things going on just along the frontline.

---

I can sense the on-comers a great deal better now than before. I’m a little surprised because they are stronger than what I had originally thought they would be, yet I don’t sense any threat from them. If they are masking their intentions or their own energy somehow like we do, there might be a problem. Not only that, there are so many of them. At first I had thought it was three, maybe four ships with a few beings on each one, but no, it’s more than that. Six large ships with multiple groups among them, nearly one hundred creatures, and I can’t be sure it’s not more. Not only that the ships coming from the other side of space are very similar in formation, though slightly less in number. All together there had to be between one and two hundred beings.

Whatever it is headed our way, it’s more like a small fleet than just a few simple travelers. I can’t think of any reason they would come here, but then again the only way to find out is to ask once they get here, if we even get a chance to ask any questions. It’s boggling my mind.

                I can’t help but think Vegeta was foolish to leave like he did. If he had only stayed a little bit longer then he could have been here for this. Now we have to face it by ourselves and there’s no way of letting Vegeta know about it, either. I do wonder if he can sense them, or if he’s even interested in sensing any of us out anymore.

                I’m not mad at him, I can’t be. How many times did I leave and stay gone from everyone’s life? And I had never planned on coming back. Vegeta can make his own decisions; I just wish he wasn’t so irrational about things.

I wonder almost every day if he’ll ever come back, and I can’t figure out why that question is nagging at me so persistently. I have even dreamt about him more often than not, and I’m uncomfortable with his haunting presence in my subconscious mind. I wonder if it has anything to do with the transformations or my newly acute senses, which brings me to consider why I can’t even sense him if I’m so bent on daydreaming about him. I knew I’d always had thoughts about Vegeta in particular, more so than any of my other friends, but this was too much.

I regret not saying anything to him before he left like Gohan had wanted of me. Not for Gohan’s sake, but for my own. I have so many questions that I need to ask him and so many things I should have told him, like the fact that I had never wanted for him to leave the planet. Some of the things I want to know have nothing to do with why he left. And some of the things I have to say I know I shouldn’t, but damn it, I can’t help myself. I find myself more and more curious about his past and his intentions as time passes by, and none of it makes any sense to me.

I have tried to meditate to clear up some of the mess in my head, but it doesn’t do any good anymore. I did figure out some things, like that memory of my conversation that day with the Yadrat. I finally realized why Vegeta’s scent was familiar to me. If his father held me in his arms, then it is his father’s scent that I recognize when I’m near Vegeta. That still doesn’t explain why there’s something solidifying in Vegeta’s. That doesn’t tell me why I feel unreservedly relaxed around the older man. I have no rhyme or reason why I should desire so much to hold his body next to mine and kiss him like we once did.

In truth, I was so busy being embarrassed about the whole thing I wouldn’t have known how to approach the subject (My awkwardness was part of the reason I didn’t feel like we should go on- I didn’t know what I was doing). I never told Vegeta that. I didn’t want to tell him I was ever uncomfortable with myself, he wouldn’t understand why. If only he knew, I had to contain myself for life’s sake during those five weeks whenever I did transform and saw Vegeta in his. It was a trippy experience to say the least. My veins itched for a release of internal desire that I never acknowledged or even cared to take note of before. I just wanted more of him, and the more I got, the more I required.

Now that Vegeta is gone, I feel a little less at peace with myself, and I have never felt this way before (I was very unhappy to uncover these thoughts). It’s almost as though a piece of me was taken with him when he left, and I don’t see how he did that to me. The only explanation I have come up with is that I think it’s my fault that he left, and that’s why I’m losing sleep over the whole thing, but what can I do about it now?

Why did he have to up and leave the planet? Why couldn’t he have come talked to me first?

I know why, he’s too proud. He would have felt like it was begging, like he was pining over me, but I would have understood, I would have… I don’t know what I would have done, but I would have preferred it to the situation at hand.

There are some things here that bring me back down to earth still, like Goten’s growing and maturing interest in Trunks. I can see it now where I wouldn’t have noticed before, that Goten has a crush on the younger prince. I think it’s adorable, and I wonder if Trunks feels the same, but I can’t tell, he’s a little quieter around me than every one else.

Gohan I can read loud and clear, though. His disgust with me is almost palpable every time I’m near him, even though he wears that Son smile like there’s nothing going on, behind his eyes I can see his disdain, even when he tries his hardest to swallow it. I don’t know what to say to him, or even where he’s coming from. I tried to ask Piccolo about it and he said he doesn’t know what type of relationship Vegeta and my son had. I wonder if Gohan really did have feelings for Vegeta and if he’s mad because he’s gone and I didn’t stop him, or if he’s mad because I like Vegeta.

Wait, I mean… because Vegeta likes me…

*Ahem!* either way, every time I consider bringing him up I reconsider. Imagine, father and son fighting over a man who’s never coming back anyways. I don’t even know if Gohan’s interested in fighting over him, but for some reason I am- at least to fight for him to stay.

I should have stopped him. At the very least, I should have asked him why.

I am very apprehensive about the up and coming battle we expect to have with these things and I am trying my hardest not to show it. I want their arrival to come swiftly, so I can have some sort of conclusion, not to mention distraction, to all of my whirring thoughts. I wonder if it will be anything like I expect it to be or anything like we’ve faced before, or if I’ll be once again surprised by what the universe has in store for this peaceful planet.

---

“Hey, Von,” Thelel cracked through her General’s sleep cycle, her face showing up on the screen of his ship. There was a smirk on her face that wouldn’t quit, and Von smiled back at her, amused.

“What is it now?” He acted annoyed, but he was anything but. The tension within his men was growing as the distance shortened between them and their destination. They had been waiting a very long time for this and it was so close to fruition they could hardly stand it.

“How much farther is it now? My crew won’t leave me alone about it, you know,” her pretty face was expectant as she removed some of her slick, long black hair from falling before her face. Her voice contained as much excitement as it could, although she was trying not to seem too eager, her crew hadn’t asked her check in the status of the trip, they knew better than to question her, still she knew their interests well and was curious about their progress herself.

Von looked at his coordinates and his smile grew, “Ah, not too far now.” The handsome man went over his controls and started readjusting some of the settings, “How about we kick it up a notch? What do ya say?”

There were hoots and hollers from all around, within his own ship, as well as those within Thelel’s and the ones listening to the conversation between General and Commander.

“Sounds ideal,” he’d closed her screen, but he could still hear her sensual voice over the intercom.

“Alright,” his captivating voice called out simultaneously to each of the ships they traveled with, “Crank up your engines men, and follow my lead. It looks like we’ll be arriving on planet Earth now in just under two weeks.”

More cries of approval and shouts of encouragement came loud and clear over the speakers.

Von turned off the communication devices and removed himself from the small and alienated control center, commanding one of his men to take his place for a little while.

“Finally,” he whispered to himself once he was alone within the walls of his personal quarters, “I’ll be able to meet the man my father always talked so highly about, Prince Vegeta! Ha! And the man who killed that bastard Frieza- the one who they call ‘Goku,’” he began to chuckle to himself in his delight as he fell back onto his bed, content with the ease with which his plan was coming together, he said, “and we Saiyans will be reunited!” His chuckle turned into outright laughter, rumbling from deep within his chest.

They had all traveled long and far, and come together at such odds, just so that they could claim their King and start over. He couldn’t wait.
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Gone