All Your Petty Desires

All Your Petty Desires

A Gundam Wing fanfiction by Raletha


Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing is copyrighted to Bandai,
Sunrise, and The Sotsu Agency.

Rating: Adults Only/NC-17/MA

Content/Warnings: yaoi, canon, lemon, angst, language

Genre: Drama/Erotica

Characters/Pairings: 3x4x3, references to 1x3x4, and other
combinations thereof

Summary: On Peacemillion, Quatre seeks a unique moment for him and
Trowa after he, Heero, and Trowa have come together as lovers.

Notes: Follows Through the Rainstorm -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/raletha/124783.html

Email: raletha@fanworkrecs.com

Website: http://serendipity.fanworkrecs.com

_________________________________________________

>From the mattress on the floor, I watch Heero leave. He said he wanted
to get us more blankets--the floor in Trowa\'s room is cold; I can feel
it seeping through the foam mattress beneath me. But I know he left to
let Trowa and I have some time alone. I tug the scratchy wool up to
our shoulders and squirm a little closer to Trowa. He\'s looking at me
with clear, open eyes--too clear given his recent orgasm, an orgasm
which I can still taste on my tongue.

I rub my tongue against the roof of my mouth and look at him. I wonder
what he\'s thinking with that clear and serious look he\'s giving me. It
feels like we\'ve never been alone together before, and I suppose we
haven\'t--not like this. I smile at him experimentally. I want to see
if he\'ll smile back. I\'d like to see him smile--it would reassure me
that we were doing the right thing. When I watched Trowa go down on
Heero, before Heero took me in his mouth too, I felt like an intruder.
Maybe I was wrong to push this. Maybe Trowa and Heero didn\'t need
me--neither of them. They needed only each other.

\"Did you and Heero fuck?\" Trowa asks me. He\'s not smiling

I refocus my gaze from his mouth to his eyes. What a question. \"No,\" I
answer. \"We just...you know,\" I make some vague gesture to go with my
shrug. Trowa nods, so I guess he gets that I mean handjobs and
blowjobs.

\"Why not?\"

I shrug again. It\'s too sentimental to tell Trowa I didn\'t want to
with Heero because I wanted my first time to be with him. It\'s not
even like I care about Heero less. It\'s just different. \"I don\'t know.
It didn\'t really come up.\"

\"Have you ever?\"

I shake my head.

Trowa smiles. It makes me smile too.

\"Do you want to?\" his smile\'s changed--the change is in his eyes.
They\'re more open somehow, like I\'m looking into Trowa now, not just
at him.

\"What, like... now?\"

\"Yeah.\"

\"I...\" I start and then change direction. \"Should we wait? For Heero?\"

Trowa shakes his head. \"Will you let me take you, Quatre? Now?\" He
tangles his fingers with mine as he asks. I feel the question
vibrating beneath my skin; I can feel him wanting me.

I didn\'t expect something like this to happen now. I didn\'t expect
Trowa to ask like that. I guess I thought it would just happen, in the
heat of some future moment, we\'d simply evolve into fucking. This
asking, on the cold floor, it feels a little cold to me. But I cannot
deny Trowa anything.

\"Okay,\" I say.

\"Good,\" he says, smiles in his eyes again. I lean forward and kiss
him, opening my mouth to his as his fingers slip from mine to touch my
skin. His hands are chilly as he breaks the kiss to roll me onto my
stomach.

\"Comfortable enough?\" he asks, his hands warming on my skin, stroking
my back.

I nod against the pillow. \"Yeah.\"

Beside me he sits up, reaches up to the shelf above the head of his
bunk, and comes back to me with a plastic bottle. \"Lotion,\" he
explains and flips the cap.

I shiver as he tugs the blanket off me, down to my calves, shiver when
his hands smear the cold lotion over my back.

\"Are you okay?\"

\"A little cold,\" I admit. I\'m too cold to be aroused much, that\'s one
thing becoming evident to me. I guess it doesn\'t matter though, if I\'m
hard or not. Trowa doesn\'t need me to be hard to fuck me.

\"Yeah,\" he says, \"me too.\"

I warm a little when he straddles my hips. I warm a lot more when I
feel his erect cock settle against the cleft of my ass. His hands on
my back move smoothly--I wonder where Trowa learned to give a massage.
Arousal might not be impossible.

I\'m relieved too. I\'d been afraid he was just going to roll me over
and do it. As much as I love Trowa, I wouldn\'t have liked that, I
don\'t think. Instead of being afraid, I relax into his hands and
breathe deeply.

After a time, his hands move to my buttocks, concentrating their
massage there, his thumbs sliding into my cleft, brushing over my
hole. With that touch, apprehension rises again within me. I don\'t
want to be face down biting on a pillow when he penetrates me. It\'s
too passive.

\"I want to see you,\" I say. \"When you... when you go inside me.\"

\"It\'ll be easier for you to relax if you lie like this.\"

I roll over beneath him, and he lets me. \"It\'s okay. I want to see
you. See your face.\"

Trowa looks down, takes my cock in his hand, lifts it up to touch it
to his. He tilts his head and looks back up at me. \"Would you rather
fuck me?\"

\"Whatever you want,\" I tell him. I don\'t have a preference. Either way
is something new to share with him. At least it\'s new to me.

\"I haven\'t ever,\" he says and glances away

Confused, I frown, \"Haven\'t what?\" I know he and Heero had sex.

Trowa--to my surprise--actually blushes. \"I\'ve never been fucked,\"
Trowa says.

\"Heero told me you had--you\'d told him you had.\"

Trowa\'s smile is sheepish. \"I let him think him that. I wanted him to
trust me. But I haven\'t.\"

\"No?\" I ask, redundantly. I go cold inside, strangely so, it\'s not a
temperature cold, but an outside myself, fearful cold. \"Do you trust
me?\" I make myself ask. Trowa has no reason to trust me. None at all.

\"Yes,\" he says, and reaches for the lotion. He uncaps it and squirts
some onto his fingers. I watch him go between his legs with his hand.
I can\'t see what he\'s doing explicitly, but I can see in his face that
it\'s intimate, maybe even uncomfortable.

\"You don\'t have to do this with me right now,\" I say.

\"You were going to let me do it to you,\" he says, his words a little
broken.

\"That\'s different,\" I say, and then gasp as he coats my shaft with
another fingerful of lotion.

He shifts up on his knees, guides my cock between his splayed thighs.
I feel my cockhead drawn back to touch him where he opens, hot and
slippery.

\"Do you want to, uh, do you want to change position?\" I ask, before he
starts to bear down on me. \"Lie down?\"

\"No,\" he says, pushing against me. \"I want to see you.\"

I have to close my eyes as he starts to sink down. Little by little,
he lets me into his body. Millimetres at a time, a slow give and take.
I don\'t know what to do but lie there afraid to move, afraid that if I
move I\'ll hurt him somehow. And all the while I marvel at one simple
fact: he does trust me. He trusts me enough for this.

It feels like an eternity, but soon I\'m wrapped by heat, consumed by
Trowa, and he\'s asking me to open my eyes, to please look at him. He
wants to see me. He wants me to see him too.

I look at him over me, and I can feel myself inside him, so deep
inside him. His face is different, more open than before, more naked,
more... needful of something. I can\'t reconcile Trowa and neediness in
my head, but he\'s there--he\'s /here/--letting me see him needy like
this. I stroke his thighs, feel him trembling with tension. I see he\'s
lost his erection. I touch him soft, try to touch the hardness back
into him.

\"Are you okay?\" I ask him.

He winces through his smile. \"It hurts a little. But I\'m okay.\"

I think he\'s sparing me, I can sense through his wince, through his
tension, that maybe it hurts a lot, and he\'s not telling me. He trusts
me though, so I don\'t challenge his words. But instead of giving in to
the urge building in my gut, the urge to shift my hips and thrust into
him. I make my legs relax and concentrate on touching him, bringing
him erect.

When he\'s hard again, I still don\'t move. I stroke his cock, stroke
him with a handful of lotion until he\'s caught in pleasure and
beginning to move above me. I bite my lips hard, trying to use the
pain to anchor myself, to keep my control. But soon Trowa\'s rocking
his hips, thrusting into my slippery hand and squeezing-stroking my
cock deep within his body.

His pleasure builds quickly, and I watch him, awed. He comes with a
whimper, over my hand and belly, shuddering around me, and then falls
limp, falls down into my arms, pulling himself off of me. I\'m still
hard, painfully so, but I make no complaint.

I twist and reach down to the blanket, pulling it up over his back,
and I hold him. I hold him until Heero returns with the extra blankets
and pillows. It will be easier now, I think, to be with them both, now
that I know Trowa and I have something that\'s just ours.


the end