Just Once

Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade...

A/N: This is what you get when I sit down and make everything up on the spot... Thank you for the reveiws on my past fics... ^_^ They're appreciated...

EDIT: Just went and editted it... I may have missed a few though... Anyway...

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Just Once

It was dark. So horribly dark. The kind of darkness that makes you think of things. Make you think repetively of everything and anything that came to your mind. It was one of those sleepless nights were that darkness seeped into me, forcing me to think.

It was annoying.

I sighed, my hands slipping under the pillow as I rolled over, sighing quietly, shivering as the cold hit my back before I slipped further under the covers.

Thinking things...

My mind was jumbled, my earlier thoughts of how we would beat the Bladebreakers mixed in with the thoughts of confusion and frustration, the thoughts of something wrong. Lots of things wrong. My mind couldn't make sense of them, only one thing stood out.

You.

You, the person that had always resolved feuds between our teammates and I. The person we all asked for advice from. You would always shake your head - during the time you'd have your headband off - making your fringe flop messily over your face. It was amusing. I can't remember you without your messy fringe. I wanted to tou-

I stopped the thought, feeling my cheeks heat up. I can't think of you like that. I shouldn't. Boris would have me beaten to death before I'd have blinked if he knew.

"You're not to feel like that at all, let alone feel it for another man." He used to preach to us. You should know, you'd had it yelled in your ear longer than the rest of us.

I buried my head into the lumpy pillow, sucking in a deep breathe. It was a phase, it would go away. It would. I'm sure it would. I won't have you distracting me forever.

The determined thought made me picture you. You and your deep, blue eyes.

I know why I'm feeling this way. I know exactly why and it was aggrivating, absolutely infuriating!

It was our kiss.

Our first kiss!

Nothing else!

We'd agreed to experiment, gently stroking each other's faces. Our earlier agreement said we wouldn't get caught up, that we both could stop at any given time, we weren't supposed to do anything but touch, running our hands over each other's chests, tracing scars, rubbing the bruises that stained our skin softly, hoping to make them disappear.

But we got caught up in the moment.

Soon I was leaning forward, lips parted, my eyes half open. You moved forward too, your lips parting to fit against mine. I hesitated as I felt your breathe on my lips, making me sigh quietly, my eyes closing as our lips joined.

I fought back the heat that rose to my cheeks as I thought about it: the nice feelings and the way I felt sandwitched against you. I had felt warm, fuzzy, great, almost... loved? You were so nice, so gentle. I couldn't help the blush as I remember the way your hands made my skin tingle everytime you ran your hand over it.

Shut up Bryan! You're sounding like a girl! You aren't one, understand?

I sighed, my inner rant halting. It was how I felt and I couldn't change that. I rolled over again, facing the ceiling, berating myself for thinking those thoughts.

We've avoided each other whenever possible, though at times it was rather hard. I'd fled the room when we'd parted, panting lightly, our faces flushed from the lack of oxygen and the feelings of that kiss. I was scared of the emotions that had started to flood me. It was... overwhelming. So many emotions: confusion, affection, want, need, sadness, almost... longing to repeat the action. I'd just ran out. And we've been running from each other since. Myself more so than you.

It was a mistake. A huge mistake. We both shouldn't have opened ourselves to each other; we'd made our teammates suspicious. Tala's questioned me, stating that I'd been distracted, my concentration completely gone. I'd ignored him mostly. But even I had to admit that I fawned over you more than that of a person with a crush. Even Ian had commented on my behavior, surprising me with a peice of advice that more than likely came from you:

"The best way to get rid of a distration is to face it."

I hold onto that sentence dearly, remembering it everytime I saw you. I'd tried to talk to you but I'd choke on my words, eventually snorting and stomping off, insulting you before disappearing completely.

A knock echoed around the room, my inner thoughts silenced as I listened to the sound again.

Tap, tap, tap...

I blinked, jumping out of bed as I crept towards the door, grabbing my beyblade and launcher, gripping the handle tight, "Who is it?" I whispered.

"Spencer." I let out a sigh of releif to find another stuck in my thoat.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, crap, fuck...

"Open up." You whispered, your deep voice making my ears feel numb.

I flicked the lock, the door creaked open as I stalked back to my bed, curling up under the blankets. I watched as you closed the door, careful it didn't slam shut and I took note of the latch being flicked back to the place it had originally been. I quickly rolled over, my eyes tracing my drawers. I felt the bed sink as you sat on it.

What were you doing here? Obviously you wanted to talk, I answered myself. But...

But I couldn't talk to you, that meant emotions, that meant feelings, that meant I was weak. I swore quietly. But I wanted to talk.

We were both silent, the lack of noise near deafening. I wanted to jump up, tell you exactly how I felt, to tell you to tell me why I was feeling the way I did.

"Do you think it was a mistake?"

I sighed, fighting to keep control of my hysteria, "At times." I answered, my voice quiet.

"Why?" I knew this technique: interogate the problem, find out everything before trying to find a solution. I wish I had thought of this, and when I had, used it on you.

I let my fingers play with my pillow's corner, running my thumb and forefinger over the scratchy material, "I... I'm..." I flushed. I don't stutter! I heard you chuckle as you shifted on my bed, "Do you?"

The question ceased his movements, the bed's noise leaving too, "Not really." The answer left me baffled. I blinked, turning so I was on my back, head tilted as I looked up at you, my eyes wide, "Everything's a test and you're just another." I felt a hurtful pang in my chest. I was a test? Nothing more? My eyes narrowed as you continued, "One that I had enjoyed."

"What?" I was blushing lightly again and even in the darkness, I could see you watching me. You slid down onto the bed, laying next to me, your arm under your head as a pillow.

"I don't know about you, or whether it's just because I'd never experienced anything like I did with you but..." You paused, thinking over your statement like you usually did, the exact opposite to me, "I liked it. It felt great, it felt like you'd melt into me, like we were more than two teenagers." I was blushing, my mouth open slightly as I listened, "We'd agreed to only touch, but we both broke that, kissing wasn't part of the deal." I nodded, "But it wasn't just one of us that broke it."

You shifted on my bed again, moving to turn on the light. The light burned brightly into my eyes as you turned back to me. You were smiling. It was barely recogniseable, but it was a smile.

My mind was going over the things you'd said, repeating them over and over, repetively breaking them down one after the other.

You had liked it, it felt great, melt into you...

You were staring at me worriedly, your deep blue eyes showing your concern. An awkward silence was blanketing us, and I resisted the urge to fidget.

I felt my mouth open, the words pouring from my mouth, "I felt like we wouldn't let go... Like we where really together." I breathed, that sounded so gushy, so unlike-Bryan, "I'm not good with words." I flushed again, I couldn't stop it from showing with your gaze on me, "When it'd finished, I wanted to do it again and again, but... I was scared, I wanted you, but the emotions scared me off, I wasn't used to them being there." I averted my gaze, "I was a coward."

God I feel vulnerable. I needed your eyes to move from me, I needed you to move away from me. My eyes closed as I stubbornly ignore your staring. I felt your hand cup my cheek, making my eyes shoot open before I stared at you. You were smiling again.

"I feel just as vulnerable as you." I sighed, leaning into the contact, nodding absently. You shuffled closer, close like before. We were only a centimeter apart, not even that as you leant down, kissing my chin softly.

I let out the air I'd been holding, finding myself moving to mirror your action. I kissed your cheek instead, a bit away from the corner of your mouth. You're fingers had moved to sift through my hair, as you brought your lips down to my own for a ghostly kiss.

"We shouldn't." I breathed, "We shouldn't be weak, or make weakness."

"Too late for that." I had to agree as you leant in for another soft kiss, tossing the blanket off me.

"Just once..." I gasped, feeling you nip at my chin. It was all I needed, I'd figured, just one time to experience each other's flesh and I'd stop torturing myself with ideas and fantasies. Then we could return to our normal behaviour.

You nodded, gently echoing my words as you raised yourself to your knees and moved to straddle my thighs, your lips finding mine.

Our clothes had disappeared slowly, our hands sliding over scarred flesh. I'd been surprised by your confidence as each item fell to the floor, or the bed, depending on if we could be bothered before returning to each other's lips. Had you done this with someone else?

The thought left me fast though as I gasped and arched against the bed when your lips first touched my chest, gently nibbling along my collar bone before sliding over to one of my nipples. It had me feeling a light, buzzing warmth and comfortable, waves of tingliness with every swipe of your tongue, with every caress your light fingers delivered to my thighs and stomach.

"So many scars..." You'd said idly, moving to kiss my lips before your eyes fell towards my body. "We're all decorated in the same way..." I nodded, breathing deeping as you let your fingers trace the scars and I slowly let my own do the same to yours.

You gasped when my hands slid down your sides, your head tilting back teasingly. But I wasn't one to be teased and I'd quickly sat up and kissed you there, letting my teeth nibble on your neck, just like yours had my chest. My hands moved to your shoulders, gently rubbing in circular motions.

"Spencer..." I whispered as your arm wrapped around my middle and you laid me down properly, thrusting gently against me and making me gasp as our erections slid against each other. The pleasure from the rest of my body seemed like nothing compare to to the feeling of our grinding, as we gasped and moaned quietly against each other's necks and shoulders.

You pulled back hesitantly leaving me slightly cold as you took your body heat with you. I watched as you found your jacket and reached into the pocket. I knew what you were getting and shifted uncomfortably on my bed. "Stomach or...?" My already flushed face seemed to burn even more as you chuckled and crawled over the top of me, kneeling between my spread legs.

"No." You kissed me again, our tongues moving between us, rubbing against each other. I closed my eyes tight as I felt one of your fingers enter me, trying to relax myself. You seemed to have been better at that than me as you leant down and began sucking and licking my nipples again, my hands on your neck and shoulders and in your damp blonde hair.

Soon there were two, then three fingers, each causing my the sense of discomfort to multiply, before it subsided and was replaced by pleasure. It'd had started to feel more than great after the third or fourth entering, your fingers rubbing against my prostrate teasingly, making me writhe and moan quietly beneath you before retreating completely.

I heard your gasp as you rubbed the lotion on yourself, and I couldn't help but feel nervous as you moved over me again.

I couldn't resist the urge to touch you, slowly letting my hand slide down your body before sqeezing your erection gently as I fondled it. You'd gasped and growled, as I directed you inside me, letting out a long, breathy moan as you rocked into me.

My legs wrapped around you as our thrusting sped up, my eyes falling closed as I let myself feel everything. The hazy pleasure in my mind, the dots exploding in front of my eyes, the ache from my ignored arousal. I gasped as you let your fingers rub me, your entire hand wrapping around to stroke my erection in rythem with your every thrust.

I felt a whimper leave me as I started bucking against you violently, my orgasm coming to me faster than I had wanted it too. I bit your shoulder as I came, feeling you bite mine in return as you followed me, leaving us both panting and gasping your head on my chest.

I'd wrapped my arms around you ages ago, but I couldn't find it in myself to let go. Not yet anyway. We stayed like that until your breathing had returned to normal and you sat up on your knees. You'd quickly thrown the blanket on me as you went in search of your clothes, putting them on slowly before bidding me good night.

I sighed as I noticed the slightly hurt feeling of having been left alone. But I ignored it. You wouldn't bother me anymore, you shouldn't. I'd fed my want and now it would leave me alone.

I curled into the bed as I felt my eyes fall sleepily shut, hoping to wake up the next morning and be back to my distinctly moody and destructive self.

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A few months later we had found our 'once' develop into twice and soon after that to three times, then four, five, ten, fifteen and it wasn't stopping there.

We haven't made anymore promises to each other, you had talked to me about that, right after you realised that anything between us had to be repeated at least once. But we were releived. Boris had no control over us anymore, right after we lost at the championships.

We now lived with Kai. We now shared a room with thick sound-proof walls. We now suffered through group therapy together.

"Do you think we should - as Tala calls it - officially named ourselves a couple?" I couldn't help but snigger at the amusement in your voice as you said that. But I nodded, my cheek resting against your chest.

"If we get teased or are given a hard time for this, I'm threatening celibacy." You chuckled, and raised yourself to kiss my cheek gently.

"Of course, Bry, unlike you I can not jump you." I growled and pouted, as you leaned in for a deep, tongue-lashing kiss.

I pulled back abruptly, leaving you staring up at me with confusion. I smirked, "Just once." I said huskily, "You can only do that once."

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A/N: Reveiw please...