UNTITLED

UNTITLED.


Disclaimer: Come on…do I have to say it? Oh alright, I don’t own Dragonball Z/GT and all the credit goes to Akira Toriyama. There, happy?!


YAHOOOOO!!!!!!! I’ve returned with more! This fic is WAY different from all my others. Same aspect, different outlook. I’m sorry I don’t have a name for it, but I couldn’t think of one. This is good and very angsty. Read and find out what I mean and don’t forget to review.


I’m doing it again.

I didn’t know I had been until he glances over at me and asks me what’s wrong. I don’t have an answer to that, but I look away and blush, red splashing across my cheeks in embarrassment. I can’t help it, he’s…well, I don’t know what he is, but I know that I can’t stop looking at him all the time.

Sitting across from me, he digs into his plate of food with relish, stuffing his mouth with spaghetti and chicken, not caring how the food gets all over his face. His cheeks bulge with food and he’s still packing biscuits into his mouth. I don’t know how he does it, but I cringe when food flies my way, hitting me in the nose. I wipe it off and frown in disgust. He’s a pig. But I can’t look away even though he doing the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.

Eating is his favorite thing to do besides fighting and I’ll take watching him fight over this any day. He finished his meal with a loud belch and rubs his flat stomach.

“Excuse me! Man, that was great, Chichi!”

His wife smiles at him and hands him a handkerchief that he makes no use of, choosing instead to wipe his hand across his mouth and lick the sauce off of his lips. My own food lay in my plate halfway gone but I stopped eating the moment my eyes caught site of him. “Aren’t you going to eat that? I worked too hard to make it and I expect you to eat it, young man!” His wife is screeching in my ear for me to eat but I barely hear her, too transfixed on him.

He is watching me as well, but with a confused look on his face, looking absolutely childish.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” I blurt out.

What the fuck?! Where did that come from?

“What did you say?” Chichi asks, turning to me with a shocked look on her face. I can’t close my mouth, it just hangs open and I’m as stunned as she is. He waits for my answer, now serious and even more perplexed than before. Oh shit. I get up fast and run out the front door, leaving them both lost and confused.

I stop when I’m more than one thousand miles away and fall to the ground panting. I can’t believe I said that! I don’t even know why I did or how because it wasn’t something I was thinking about, it just came out before I could do anything to stop it. Shit, what the hell is wrong with me?! I can’t go back there! Not after a stupid stunt like that. Kami must hate me with a vengeance to do something this horrible to me. I have to find someplace to sleep for the night, someplace no one will find me.

I think I’m far way enough and lower my Ki before curling up into a ball to cry. I’m sixteen years old and I don’t know the first thing about what I’m feeling. I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I’ve always watched him, silently and carefully, or so I thought. He noticed me today and I still couldn’t manage to stop, I even went so far as to open my mouth and tell him that was beautiful. I don’t even know where it came from, I just opened my mouth and that’s what came out. Why, I don’t know.

It’s just that, the look on his face was just so damn oblivious and innocent I just stared hoping that he wouldn’t take it to mean anything and that I would look away any second. But no, I had to open my trap and embarrass myself further. It was bad enough that I was looking at him at all. Chichi was gabbing in my ear and her voice is normally loud and shrill but I swear I couldn’t hear a word she was saying, it was like she wasn’t even talking. I was so lost in gazing at him like an idiot that I was startled to actually hear her ask me what I had said.

No way I was gonna repeat it. So I left, it was the only think I could do at the moment. At this time, nobody has come looking for me and I don’t think going back now is a good idea. I don’t want to ever go back there. I’m too mortified to sleep so I just sit up against a tree, staring off into to space.

How the hell had I gotten my self into a mess like this? No doubt they think I’m weird as it is, maybe even perverted but I don’t know if they’re wrong. I just don’t know. I have no one to confide in, I mean how do I explain something like this to a normal person? I’m scared to death, I don’t know what to do and to make matters worse, if I do get found, I won’t know what to say. No use lying, the room was small and he was only sitting across from me, no way for them to take what I said as anything other.

And I said it so damn loud! And clear, there’s no way I could play it off. What am I going to do? I can’t stay in these woods for ever. I find myself a cave to warm up in and gather some wood for fire. I have no food, no warm clothing and no clue what the hell is the matter with me. Anyone watching would probably think this is some innocent little crush or something. It could have been, sure, if things like that were considered normal.

If he finds me, I’m screwed every which way to hell. It will only be a matter of time before he comes looking for me. He has to, I don’t want him to, but he can’t let me run away. I wish he would leave me alone. Or maybe, I’ll get lucky and he’ll be too disgusted to look for me. Yeah, that might happen. Or not.

“I thought you’d be in the woods somewhere.”

I freeze so suddenly, my heart stops beating. I don’t even move, hoping to disappear or blend in with the grass or something that will get me out of this precarious situation. “I looked all over for you, but if not for my eyes I would have never found you.” I wish he hadn’t.

“Goten.”

Please go away.

I’m shaking with fear, my back heaving as tears gush out of my eyes. I squeeze them shut and hope that he leaves me alone but no such luck comes to me as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” I cry, stiffening and curling up tighter into my protective ball that isn’t protecting me at all. I’ve never been so scared in my life.

“Goten, please get up.”

No, I won’t!

“I’m scared.” I whimper, rocking back and forth, crying so hard now that I’m choking on my shallow breaths, squeezing my eyes so tight, dots dance against my closed lids. He knows that I’m scared to death and I feel him back away a little. “Goten, you have to come home.” He says softly. Hell no, not after that! My mother will be disgusted beyond belief and disown me for sure. I’ll bet she thinks I’m a fag. I think I’m a fag. “Goten, come on, let’s go.”

“NO!” I scream, getting up. He takes a step toward me and I back up, shaking my head. “Stay away from me.” He doesn’t, only keeps getting closer. If I fly off now, there is no doubt in my mind that he can catch me, so I back up for as long as I can, hoping he’ll get tired of following me.

“Wait, I don’t want you to think I hate you. I don’t, just… come here.”

Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll come right over to him and go home without a word, acting as if nothing happened. I would do it too, if I were dreaming. But I’m not.

I continue to back up. “Goten, I don’t have time for this, now you can either come with me willingly or I’ll make you come with me.” I can’t. “Please don’t.” I plead with him but to no avail. He moves so fast I blink in confusion. He’s behind me in an instant, grabbing me and locking his arms around my torso. I scream and kick and struggle as hard as I can, twisting and swinging, hoping to be let go. But I must be stupider than I thought to think I would get out, he’s three times stronger than me and easily over powers me, tightening his grip and me. I don’t stop screaming all the way home.

In a second, literally, we are at home, in the kitchen again, and Mom is sitting at a chair, waiting. I scream louder and struggle more, just waiting for the moment he lets me go so I can at least attempt to escape.

“Goten, we have to talk.” The dreaded words I don’t want to hear.

“Stop it!” He growls in my ear in a voice that makes my legs and arms go limp with fear. He drags me over to a chair and plunks me in it. I can’t stop shaking for the life of me as my mother regards me with a stern look. I don’t look at her. “Goten, why did you say what you did?” She asks me.

“I don’t know! I wasn’t even thinking about it, it just came out and I didn’t know why. I’m more than horrified, I don’t know how that even slipped! Please, don’t hate me, I don’t know what I was talking about.”

She doesn’t even blink when she asks her next question. “Did you mean it?” I look at her helplessly and nothing comes out except, “I don’t know.”

“Well, we should talk about it. Ahem, we, uh, your father and I, know that you are growing up and that you will have certain…desires at you age. But Goten, you’re supposed to be looking at the opposite sex when you think things like that. Now, if you had said that to me, I would have thought nothing of it. Even if you had said that to another boy your age, I would have been slightly worried. But to say that to your father…that’s…”

Not normal. Disgusting. I know. She trails off, trying to find something to say that won’t hurt me more, but she gives up and looks to my father for help. He has even more trouble coming up with something to say and nervously rubs the back of his neck.

“Uh, well, what your mother is trying to say is that, it’s not right to think of me that way and if you did you should have kept it to yourself.”

I tried! And then my mouth betrayed me.

“You aren’t supposed to think that because it falls under something called incest. Incest is when you are…..eh…attracted or feel something you shouldn’t for a member of your own family. It is not considered moral in this society. So….”

I sit there, finally having stopped shaking and crying, glaring at the ground. “Okay.” I say quietly and get up to go to my room. Once inside I try to murder my bed, pounding my fists into the mattress as hard as I can. Then I stop and breakdown to cry again, slumping forward on the bed.

My life is ruined. I can’t live like this. I get up. Going to the bathroom, I search around in the medicine cabinet until I find Moms razor. Dad has no hair that I know of except on his head and has no need to shave. I break the plastic around it and slink back into my room. Sitting down on my bed, I sniff bitterly and push up my sleeve, bringing the razor to the skin of my wrist. Without another thought, I slice the blade across a vein in three quick, deep swipes. And wait for the pain to come.

Crimson fluid floods out of the gashes and runs down my arm to drip onto my lap. Suddenly things start to get fuzzy and my focus wavers as I slowly lie back on the pillow. This is it….no one will miss me. Dad won’t care as long as he doesn’t have a faggot son in his house. Mom hates me anyway. Nobody else will know of this. I won’t miss this world. My eyelids get weaker as my energy drains.

Just before I slip into unconsciousness, I faintly hear my door being cracked in half as someone bursts into my room and grabs me. That’s the last thing I remember before I float off into peaceful death.

*******************************************************

Unfortunately, I wake up in the hospital some time later.

Damnit I was so close!

Around me is all white and light blue. It smells like Clorox and fresh laundry in here. A needle is jammed in my arm and my wrist has been bandaged to stop the flow of blood. I try to lean over and snatch the IV out of my arm but I’m so weak I can’t even do it. My eyes squint in discomfort and I try to ignore the nirvana that comes over me when I roll over and hit the floor. I use all of the little bit of strength I have to haul myself up on my hand and knees and crawl over to the window.

I have to get out of here and finish this. The door opens and strong arms brace around my arms, yanking me from the window and dragging me back to the bed. What kind of luck do I have?!

“Where were you going?!” The voice yells in my ear. Dad hovers over me with a nurse who is brandishing a needle filled with some sort of liquid to sedate me if need be. I look away from him, too ashamed at being caught.

“What did you think you were doing by trying to kill yourself?! What is wrong with you?!”

I close my eyes and try to drown his voice out but it’s still loud and clear. I wish I were dead, because then I would go to a hell far tamer than this one. “We don’t have any senzu beans to heal you, if I hadn’t got here in time, you would be dead.”

“That was the point.” I mutter angrily.

He continues to yell at me, telling me how worried he and mom were. I’m tired of hearing his voice so to provoke the nurse with the needle, I bolt up and grab him by the shirt and punch him. He staggers back and she immediately rushes over and sticks the needle in my neck and darkness consumes me.

When I wake up again, I have a terrible headache and the room is dark. My neck and arms feel enflamed and I’m too weak to do anything but blink and breathe. I lay there, wide awake now and try to think of a way out of this. I could wait until I heal to try again. Certainly if I act like I’m alright no one will suspect that I’ll try it again. That’s what I’ll do. I drift back off to sleep after a few hours of thinking.

A few days later, I’m well enough to go back home. Or hell as I call it. They take me back to the house and try to talk to me again but I walk away before they can say anything. In my room, I wrack my brain for a way to do myself in without being detected. Because I’m not fully human, a lot of things will not work.

I could provoke Vegeta, but he would be killed by my Dad and Trunks would be left without a father. At least he isn’t attracted to his Dad. I can’t see how he would be, it would be like having feelings for a steel cactus. He’s not a faggot like me.

Dad has been watching me for some time and making sure I don’t do anything stupid. He can no longer leave the house and go spar with Vegeta anymore because I won’t leave or I might do something.

He’s right. I might do something.

I don’t speak to him, or look at him anymore. Mom tries with me and acts like she still loves me but I know better. She tries to feed me and make me feel better by telling me it was okay to be a little upset. I scoffed at her. I’ve long since stopped eating, hoping maybe that I can starve myself to death, but it’s taking too long.

Dad is sitting across the table staring at me and I look up at him for the first time in more than a week and smirk.

“You can leave. I won’t do anything you don’t really want me to do.”

He looks surprised that I would say such a thing. “I know you want to. Tired of babysitting the little faggot? Well, Mom isn’t here, she won’t know if you step out for a few hours to have some fun. I won’t tell.”

He snarls and gets up to come and do something harsh to me. But he stops and few feet away from me. “Hit me. You know you want to. Or don’t you want to touch me? Afraid I’ll like it?” I don’t care anymore, I want more than anything to get out of here and I’ll say anything to get him mad enough to let me.

“Stop it Goten! Why are you saying that? I don’t want to hit you and I don’t think you’re a faggot. I’m not going anywhere.” “Come now Daddy”, I emphasize the ‘Daddy’ and smirk sadistically. “You don’t have to do this, you can just let me leave. I won’t do anything, I promise. Just let me go and live on my own. You’ll forget all about me. Why don’t you and mom have another kid that way you can-----

I gasp when his hands wrap around my throat choking the damn life out of me. “Shut up! Shut up, and stop doing this to yourself! Stop it, I hate what you’re doing!” I try to get his hands off of me but he only squeezes harder making me wheeze. He lets go of me and takes his hands back looking at then in horror.

I hold my neck and suck air by the gallons into my lungs. “You needed that Dad. I didn’t, but you needed it. The reason I’m doing this is because I’m sixteen years old and think strange thoughts about my father. Get it? Who would want to live with that, I don’t, but you’re torturing me by letting me. There is nothing you can do to save me. Not you, not Mom, not even Dende.

“And you want to know the worse part of all? I haven’t gotten over it. If you had let me die, I would have been happy enough in hell. I’ve been watching you for so long, you’d be weirded out by when I started. It’s not normal. I shouldn’t even be here. Let me go and your problems will be solved. I’ll be alive, but you’ll never see me again. That’s a deal any father with a queer son would never pass up.”

Heat explodes in my cheek as my head snaps back and I fall out of my chair. I slowly get up and rub my face shaking my head to clear it of pain. “That’s what you get. Now sit down and shut up and let me talk.” I sit down and let my hand fall. By the look on his face I know there is a bruise on my cheek. “What the hell is it going to take to get you to stop this and be normal again? Get over it! I don’t think you’re a faggot, I understand if you like me a bit.” A bit? He has no idea.

“I’m your father and you admire me, fine, and you probably don’t know any better because no one has told you it was wrong. I guess I might be handsome or good-looking and you told me. Your mother and I just wanted you to understand what you were feeling and tell you what it was. You’re attraction to me could be a phase you’re going though---

“It’s not.” I interrupt.

“Shut up. Maybe you’ll get over it, but hurting yourself or running away won’t change anything even if it makes you feel better. What about us? We care and love you, don’t you care how we feel?”

No. Not really.

“Am I supposed to?” I ask nonchalantly.

“What do you want me to do? I can’t condone something like this, and I won’t. So what do you want me to do? I already understand, I still love you, and I don’t think you’re disgusting, what more can I do?”

I honestly don’t know. I know I’m giving him a hard time and I hate to see him hurt. I’m making his life hell and I have no reason to. It was my big mouth that got me here in the first place, I shouldn’t be pulling him down with me. But it hurts so bad, I don’t know how else to deal with it.

“Alright. Let me leave and you can visit me.” I offer simply.

His eye twitches but he pulls a chair up and sits in front of me. “No, you’re going to stay here and let me help you. I know you don’t want to act like nothing has happened but I think it’s best to at least put it behind you. Or if you want, we can use the Dragonballs to---

“No!” I’d rather not go through this again. If he uses the Dragonballs and I fall for him again, then it will be just as bad. “I don’t think that will work.” He considers it and shrugs. “Then what are you going to do?” “Love you.” His eyes gaze down nervously but I put my hands up defensively. “Not like that! I mean, I can stop acting like a dick and try to get over this. If you help me…”

“I’ll help. Your mother will to. She’ll be the biggest influence.” Because she’s a female. I put my head down and feel his arms go around me. I hug him back desperately, clutching at him like I haven’t seen him in years. I need this badly. I cry into the crook of his neck and hold him tighter gasping for air through my tears. He stands up and picks me up off my feet. I close my eyes and hug him with all of the feeling in me.

“I’m sorry Dad. I really am. I was just scared and angry at myself. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I let him go reluctantly and step away. He rubs my head and smiles. I let a small smile cross my face and turn around.

“I’ll be in my room. If you want, you can go see Vegeta and I might come by later.” He doesn’t move or say anything. He still doesn’t trust me.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Come on, go ahead. I won’t do anything.”

“Maybe I’ll stay here for a while.”

“Alright, I’ll come with you.” He brightens up and nods and I follow him out the door.

Nobody else knows what has happened in the past week, so when we land in front of Capsule Corp I don’t get any odd stares. I go into the house to greet Bulma and go upstairs to see Trunks.

“Goten!” He cries when he sees me. He runs over to me asking me where I’ve been. “Uh, yeah, I was just grounded for a while.” I really was, sort of.

“Anyway, lets play some games and then maybe we can spar later.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Dad is with your father and Mom is at work, I can be here all day.” Trunks has a bunch of games that his mom bought him. I don’t have a game console at home and so I always come here to play the latest games. Mom won’t let me bring one home because she doesn’t want it to look like we’re needy. She isn’t concerned about me being bored to death in my room. Dad wants to buy me one, but she won’t let him, saying it would be a waste of money. But she doesn’t go a month with a trip to the spa. It’s not fair.

“I got it. Let’s play Tekken 5!” He puts the disc in and waits for the game to load.

“Hey Trunks?”

“Yeah?” He turns focusing his attention on me. I’m almost afraid to ask. “What do you think about my Dad?” He looks confused at the question and shrugs indifferently. “He’s a nice guy, I guess. Why?” “I just wanted to know.” I look at the screen but he doesn’t stop looking at me. “Well, you asked for some reason. Why really? Did he do something to you?” “No, I was just seeing something.” I say quickly hoping he’ll forget it and play the game with me, but I’ve got him curious by now and he won’t stop until he gets an answer.

“Come on Goten, tell me why you asked me? I want to know. Is he being mean to you? Did he change? Is he acting funny?” I put his controller down carefully and move closer to the television.

“No, nothing like that. But, uh, do you think he’s, well…ugly?” Trunks laughs at that.


“Your Dad? Ugly? Heck no!”

This time I’m surprised to hear him rely so strongly. I thought I was the only one. “Why would you ask something so silly? Do YOU think he’s ugly?”

“No, I was just wondering.” “Why?” I knew he would ask. “I just thought it was weird that I thought he wasn’t. Not that I would think he was but I was wondering if thinking he wasn’t ugly made me weird or something.” “Nah, it doesn’t. I mean, my Dad is good-looking too, but he’s too mean. Your Dad is as nice as he looks. You’re lucky to have a Dad that at least talks to you.”

He presses start on the controller and picks his character. I pick mine and we battle it out. He loses. “Man, what was that you did?! I’ve never seen that attack before! How’d you do that?” I really don’t know. “I just pressed all of these buttons here and that’s what happened.” “I gotta try that.” He mumbles. He picks the character I picked and I pick another and when we fight again, he tries it but nothing happens and he loses again.

“Goten! Come on dude tell me what you pressed!”

“Why, so you can use it to beat me?”

“No, ‘cause I can use it to beat you and the computer.” “But I don’t know how I did it, I don’t know what I pressed and I don’t think I can do it again.”

In the next battle I sure enough can’t do it again, and Trunks passes it off as luck. I guess it was luck. For the next hour we take turns fighting the computer and beat the game.

“Aw, that was over too fast! I thought the game would be longer. Hmph, I’ll make sure I get the walkthrough first.” He asks me if I want to spar and of course I’m up for it. We go outside and I fly into the air and he follows.

“Ready?”

“Bring it on.”

He charges me and thrusts his leg out and I dodge, flipping behind him to bring my elbow down on him. He teleports and we exchange blows before he knocks the wind out of me with a punch to my mid section. I retaliate by kicking him hard in the ribs. My arm is grabbed and twisted, and he flings me into the air. A bright light is coming toward me and I tumble upright to smack it away. He comes up behind me unexpectedly and kicks me in the head.

Blood spurts out of my nose but I turn around and he throws a punch. I duck it and smash my fist into his gut, leaving him holding himself while I uppercut him, cracking my fist against his face. We go at it like this until we eventually wear each other out. I’m never going to admit it to him, but he’s a little bit stronger than me. Still, I gave him a pretty good match by his cuts and bruises.

He drops out of the sky onto his knees and I struggle to stay on mine.

“You don’t what a real spar is until you’ve seen more experienced fighters go at it.” A voice snickers. I glare up to see Vegeta with my Dad next to him.

“Why don’t we show you a real fight? Kakarotto.” He and Dad move back and both power up to Super Saiyan. They stare each other down before Vegeta attacks him.

They both look evenly matched, that is, until Vegeta’s foot connects with Dad’s jaw, and he ruthlessly jabs his fists into his stomach, not giving him the chance to recover. Just when I think Dad might be losing he smirks but Vegeta doesn’t see him. His arms rise and come down on Vegeta’s head. He goes down and into the floor, making a crater big enough to fit a house in.

“We should go somewhere else, Vegeta just destroyed the backyard.” Vegeta gets up and tells Dad to lead the way. We fly off to a secluded area in the mountains and before Dad gets the chance to stop, Vegeta has his arm around his throat, crushing his larynx. Dad struggles for a minute before elbowing Vegeta in the side and then kneeing him in the face.

I am cheering for my Dad while Trunks cheers for his. I’ve never seen them fight before and it’s a treat for me. Dad roundhouse kicks for Vegeta’s head but Vegeta dodges away and tries to punch him. They block each others blows and my eyes can barely keep up with them moving so fast. The fight is as intense as it’ll be, until Dads Ki jumps into Super Saiyan 2. Vegeta smirks and slowly moves back.

“Yes, that’s it. Give me a fight worth fighting. I’m finished warming up.” It looks like Dad agrees because he grins too and crouches into a fighting stance. Trunks and I are excited by the display of real power and I wish we could go to the next level but we can’t.

“Trunks, lets learn how to go Super Saiyan 2.”

“Yeah, then we can fight like them. Your Dad has some pretty cool moves, but my Dads faster.” I don’t argue with that. Vegeta is very agile and quick on his feet, graceful but powerful.

“I like the view and all but I’m getting hungry.” He moans. I couldn’t agree more. I feel like I’m dying and my stomach puts it’s two cents in growling menacingly. “I could use some food.” This will be the first time I’ve eaten in days and I can definitely go for some good food right now. “But we’ll have to go to a restaurant, Trunks. I’m hungry enough to eat a whole dinosaur.

“Is that why you look so much skinnier?” I blanche visibly.

“What do you mean?” Like I don’t know.

“It just looks like you’ve dropped a few pounds, that’s all. What, they didn’t feed you while you were grounded?” He asks jokingly. I only laugh and don’t answer him. We sneak away from our Dads who are trying to kill each other and go back to Capsule Corp for some money.

“Mom, please! All I need is a few thousands.” To me, that amount is mind blowing but to Trunks it’s enough to buy lunch. “Didn’t I just give you your allowance?”

“Yeah, but Mom, I’m saving for a car. I’m being responsible and taking care of myself. All that I ask is that you fork over a few dollars to help our cause.” He points to me and I give Bulma the hungriest look I can. “Unless you’d rather go grocery shopping?”

She reaches into her purse on the table and shoves the money in his hand. “Now get out. Go, don’t let me see your faces for the rest of the day.” Trunks and I run outside and stare off into the distance when a loud boom comes from the east.

“Man they’re really going at it. Do you think they know we’re gone?”

“No, they wouldn’t realize if the planet disappeared around them.”

We end up going to a fancy Chinese food court and eating everything they have. People that haven’t eaten yet curse us and glare at us. We just smile, satisfied. “Now what do you want to do?” It’s going on nine o’clock and Vegeta and Dad have stopped sparing probably starving and eating at Trunks house.

“I don’t know, let’s go bother our Dads.” He shrugs and we take off for his place. Just as I thought, they are in the kitchen stuffing their faces with Bulma in mid sentence with her mother, watching them in disgusted shock. My father and Vegeta would never think to go to a restaurant especially not with each other and it looks like Bulma will have to go grocery shopping anyway.

Trunks glances at her and she brings her hand up to her neck in a slicing motion and he squeaks, hurriedly dragging me to the table. She’s dangerous.

We watch from a distance and wait for them to finish eating. “Goten what do you think my Dad would say if I asked him what you asked me earlier?” “What?” “You know about your Dad.” “No! Don’t, he’ll think you’re weird.” And me. “Nah, he’ll probably say something nasty about him anyway.” I wish I never asked.

When they finish Vegeta opens his mouth to ruin the moment of contentedness by saying something rude. “That’s a fine example you set for your son, he could be a pig like you.” I am about to tell him to shut up but Trunks beats me to it. “Hey, Dad can I ask you something?”

“What do you want?”

“Do you think Goku is ugly?” He asks it so damn simply I just want to die!

Dads mouth is open in surprise and the first person he looks at is me. “I didn’t tell him to ask him that!” I try to defend myself.

“I suppose not. If you want to look at it that way, Kakarotto’s looks are very unique. Don’t get carried away, he’s a Saiyan and not all Saiyans were the most sightly things.”

He was actually honest. Wow.

“Why did you ask me that?” I look to Trunks with a warning scowl on my face. “I was just wondering. Goten and I think he’s hot.”

“Ack!” I literally choke on air when Trunks says this. I turn with my hands out ready to strangle him.

“Goten, we need to talk.” Is all Dad says and when I get my hands on Trunks I try to break his neck. He bites my hand and I smack him.

“What the fuck did you say that for?! I never said that, you idiot!”

“Geez, I was only saying. Just because you’re scared to say it, doesn’t mean I am. Not for nothing ‘but you agree, right?” My face is in flames now, as I swipe for his head again.

“Nobody said anything about hot! All I asked you was if you thought he was ugly. You said no and that was that!”

“And why did you ask?” Vegeta assess me. I forgot they were there and wish Dad wasn’t. “I wanted to see if I was weird for thinking he wasn’t.” “It doesn’t make you ‘weird’ only in this culture, on this planet is that considered to be out of the ordinary. It just means you admire him.” Of course it does.

“Either that or you like him.”

I shoot up from my chair making it fall over and shout. “I don’t like him! Don’t be stupid, Vegeta. All I said was that he wasn’t ugly, how did you get this from that?!”

“Are you calling me stupid, boy?” I throw my hands in the air. What the hell is going on? Bulma has the same look on her face but it’s changed to utter astonishment. Her mother looks thunderstruck and Dad is in the middle of it all, looking frustrated.

“Hello! I’m right here, stop acting like I don’t exist. Goten, it’s alright for you to think I’m not ugly. Nothing further. Trunks….I don’t know where you got hot from but Vegeta needs to get you checked out. Vegeta, thanks but I can take care of Goten myself. And Bulma, just pretend you didn’t hear any of this!” Bulma nods and stiffly walks off with her mother in tow. “Look, please stop talking about me---

“Why? This is interesting.” Vegeta irks me more by putting his hands under his chin, looking really into this disturbing conversation.

“Are you trying to call me gay, Goku?” Trunks asks with a glare.

“I didn’t say that, but you’re the one calling other guys hot and…..

“Oh, fuck you!” Trunks yells, getting up into Dads face. Dad challenges him and Vegeta looks like his face is going to crack from smugness. “Guys stop it!” I scream. Trunks pushes Dad and he steps back and shouts at Vegeta.

“Get your son before I hurt him!”

“Do it! I don’t care you if think you’re so great because you can Go Super Saiyan 2 but I’d kick your ass if you couldn’t!” Now, that’s a damn lie but people tend to say stupid thing when they’re mad.

Dad cackles and crosses his arms in a Vegeta-like pose.

“Don’t make me laugh, kid, I can lay you out in this kitchen faster than you could try. You’d do well to remember that.”

This is all my fault. Amusing as it looks, it isn’t funny at all to me and I quietly leave while they’re arguing. “Goten!” Dad catches up and I try to fly faster, but in seconds he is next to me. “Why did you ask Trunks that? Do you see what you’ve done?!” “I needed to talk to someone! I can’t tell you anything, last time I did, look how that turned out! Trunks is an asshole just like his father, I didn’t DO anything!”

“Stop cursing!”

“Fuck you!” I yell. I don’t care, what’s going to do about it? “Don’t even think of hitting me because that won’t get me to stop.”

“What is your problem?!”

“Apparently, it’s you!”

He is silent for the rest of the trip home and as soon as we get into the house I stomp upstairs past Mom and slam the door as hard as I can without breaking it. Dad shouts something at me but I don’t hear and wrap my pillow around my head. I can’t believe today! Trunks is such a bastard! And Vegeta is the biggest prick I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. Like father, like son. Don’t I wish I could say the same for me and Dad. He’s a bastard too.

The door to my room has been repaired and it opens and Mom comes inside and sits beside me softly. “Goten honey, your father told me what happened. I know you’re upset, but don’t let it get to you. You see how it wasn’t a big deal to Trunks and Vegeta? They weren’t calling you any names or anything. And those Saiyans like to fight, so it wasn’t so bad. I know you don’t want them to argue but you made it so serious. All you had to do was keep your cool. Your father is very upset at you and we want you to stop cussing. Just try not to get so angry about it, alright? Things will be back to normal in a few days.” She rubs my back and kisses my head before leaving.

***************************************
Things don’t go back to normal.

I’m still weird, Trunks is still a bastard and Vegeta is still a prick. I still curse. It is summer and there is no school so the days are long and torturous. And hot.

“Whew, it’s a scorcher today.” Mom opens the windows and fans herself. “What I wouldn’t do for central air conditioning!”

We’re eating breakfast and it’s hot as balls in here, sweat drips into my food and I frown in disdain. “Goten and I are going to Capsule Corp, you should come.” “That would be nice. I haven’t got work today and I haven’t seen Bulma in a while.” She sighs wistfully and sits with us at the table to eat her tiny portion of food.

It’s very rare that she eats with us, she would normally have eaten first or be washing our dishes early. But since it’s so hot she isn’t washing and she doesn’t have work so she’s eating with us. Dad is still pissed and not talking to me. I think that’s funny and ironic. The way things have changed in the last day is astounding but not unwelcome. I rather like the transition from suicide to relative normalcy.

Dad has a sausage link on his plate that he isn’t paying attention to as he’s busy shoveling pancakes into his mouth. I sneakily reach over and snatch it off his plate before he can see. Mom laughs and I put my finger to my lips to keep her quiet. She winks at me and hides her laughter.

I finish eating before him and loudly exclaim, “That extra sausage was delicious!” Dad looks up at me than at Mom. “You gave him extra sausage?” She only giggles into her napkin.

“No, I helped myself to the one on your plate.” He throws a feisty glower at me. “Touch my food again and lose your hand.” He growls. He continues to eat and I eye a piece of ham on his plate. He hasn’t learned. I get up and make like I’m going somewhere and quickly seize it and stuff it into my mouth before he looks up.

Mom howls with laughter and he looks all over until he finds what is missing. He just nods and goes back to eating. “You’ll see.” He grumbles.

I snicker above him walking outside to wait in the shade of a tree in the forest in front of our house. A few minutes later, Dad walks out with Mom in his arms and takes to the air, locking eyes with me signaling revenge. I lead the way with them behind me and Mom screeching at him for going too high. He drops closer to the ground and she screams clinging to him so tight his face turns purple. I laugh at my parents and blast off toward Capsule Corp, leaving them behind.

When I arrive Dad is front of the house and I awestruck. He puts two fingers to his forehead and I get it. Instant Transmission and he wouldn’t have used it if I didn’t leave him and Mom in my dust.

He’s wearing his blue sleeveless Gi with dark turquoise pants and my eyes can’t help but trail the muscles of his arms and chest. I look away before he catches me and run into Trunks on my way to the house.

“Hey, dude. Sorry about the other day, but you have to admit, it was kind of funny.”

No, it wasn’t.

“Whatever, it was still fucked up. I got in trouble for that, you ass!” I hiss. He holds his arms up behind his head and innocently grins at me. I stalk past him and go to his room without him. We’ve been best friends since childhood and I have been told that I’m welcome anywhere in the house except Vegeta and Bulma room.

“I don’t feel like playing games or sparring.”

“Then what did you come for?” He asks plainly.

“My parents wanted to come and I didn’t want to be bored.”

“You will be if you have nothing in mind. I on the other hand would love to go at it with your Dad. I was so pissed and he left! I would have shown him!” Like Vegeta, he says all sorts of unrealistic things that are never going to happen when he’s riled up. It’s a matter of pride, which they both have too much off.

“Yu-huh, I would love to see you try Trunks. It should be quiet a show, you getting your ass kicked into the dirt. I thought that after seeing your Dad eat rock, you’d learn your lesson and stay away from him. But since you’re eager to be humiliated…” He punches my arm and scoffs. “I could kick your ass any day!”

“Not that we’re talking about me. You can, of course not easily. But you couldn’t even land a single hit on my Dad.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Sure!” We link pinkies and go downstairs to find Dad. He’s outside talking to Bulma’s father.

Trunks runs up to him and tries to kick him in the head but he moves a fraction of an inch and Trunks misses. “Trunks, what are you doing?”

“Oh my goodness!” Dr. Briefs moves away and into the house as fast as his old man legs can carry him.

Trunks skids across the grass and goes in for another attack but Dad keeps moving out of his way, making it look effortless, which I’m sure for him it is. “I don’t know why you’re trying to hit me but you can forget about it, you can’t touch me!” Vegeta walks out at the commotion and has the stupidest grin on.

“You’re friend is an idiot.” He says referring to his son. “I know.” Suddenly Dad lashes out and smacks Trunks into the Gravity Room, making it dent. Trunks’ leg spasms on the ground. He struggle to get up from the hit that looks like it hurt.

“Kakarotto, you dented my machine!” Vegeta barks, stomping over to him and clipping his head. “Sorry, but I had to put your son in his place.” I’m cracking up, laughing so hard, I’m on the ground holding my sides.

“Aggghhhhh!” Trunks rears up and slowly walks up to Dad. When they are standing a few inches apart, he swings for his head and Dad bends backward making him miss terribly. Trunks gives up and angrily marches into the house. I can’t stop laughing, rolling around and banging my fist on the ground.

“He likes that.” Dad says to Vegeta.

I take one look at him and crack up harder, remembering the way he dodged that last punch. Even less than a foot away, he couldn’t hit him! I can’t breathe, but I can’t stop either. Trunks must hear my howls because he come back out and kicks me in the stomach hard. I fly into the Gravity Room and dent it more.

Vegeta screams at Trunks which only makes me laugh harder. I come to the conclusion that I will die laughing. Dad looks on, confused because he can’t seem to see what’s so funny. ”Please...hic…make it stop!” Every time I look up at Dad or Trunks, I go back to cracking up.

“Shut up Goten!” Trunks snaps. I keep laughing.

“Something is wrong with him.” Vegeta says in a small voice, walking off. Dad comes closer until I’m rolling at his feet. He looks down at me and the second I look up at him I stop laughing. “Why are you laughing?” I start again, when he asks, because he’s so clueless and still doesn’t know why Trunks was attacking him. “Oh god, stop, please! Oh, please.” I choke out.

I grab onto his leg to pull myself up and I don’t make it farther than his stomach before I bury my head in it howling. “Make it stop!” I pull myself up more and struggle to stay on my feet. Dad holds me by the shoulders to steady me and I lean against him, tears sliding down my face.

“You don’t know why he was trying to hit you. Heh heh!’ I giggle again and stop. Dad is genuinely concerned about my welfare and looks worried. “Oh, he…he made a bet with me that he could land a hit on you. I told him he couldn’t. He was…hahaha…he was so sure he could!” I laugh harder and stop to catch my breath.

“He tried so hard, and then he was mere inches away from you and he still missed, it was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. What makes it even more funny, you didn’t even know what he was doing.”

I let go of him and wobble over to Trunks who looks like he doesn’t want to see me.

“Oh come on, let your best friend commend you for trying.” I chuckle, getting closer.

“Piss off, Goten!” He seethes angrily.

“You tried and it was a valiant effort but we should have put money on that bet. You couldn’t even hit him in your dreams.”

“Oh and you could?”

“I have a better chance at it. At least I don’t think I can but if I caught him off guard I could.”

“You dork, I caught him off guard and he still managed to dodge me!” The last laughs make him angrier and he flips me off, slamming the door in my face. Fine then I’ll just go watch television downstairs. He must be so mad, but it was him who started it. I snicker again and turn on the television. Blah. Nothing worth watching is on so now I’m bored.

I go off in search of adventure but Trunks’ room is locked and he won’t let me in. Bastard.

Vegeta is arguing with Bulma to fix his GR and Mom and Dad? I can’t find them anywhere. I look everywhere, but it’s like they left. Maybe they went home. I have nothing better to do so I’ll go home too. Maybe there Dad and I could spar.

I fly off to go home but not before screaming to Trunks to fuck himself. He opens his window and throws his television at me. I catch it and fly home. We don’t have one of these at home. I take it and zoom home.

I can feel their Ki inside, so I just go to my room to set the television up. I guess I’ll settle on something half interesting to watch in the comfort of my room. I plug it into the outlet behind my bed and start to go back downstairs for a snack. I don’t even get to the top of the stairs when my parent’s room door opens and giggles can be heard.

Dad walks out and I suck in a breath of pure surprise. He doesn’t have a STITCH of clothes on. Mom is behind him, her nakedness covered by his body but his is fully exposed to me. My eyes trail down his naked form to his crotch and my hand slaps over my mouth as my eyes triple in size.

“Oh shit.” Dad says but it’s kind of faint when I on my way to the floor. I pass out.

I don’t wake up for who knows how long and I hear voices downstairs. “See, I told you we should have been careful!” Mom hisses. “I didn’t know he would come home so early. You were about to walk out with me!” He fires back. I groan as the memory comes flooding back to me.

Ohhhh, shit. I can’t believe I saw that. Just when I thought that my feelings for him were diminishing, he comes out in nothing, after obviously having sex. I can’t look at him anymore. Never again. Fuck! He is so stupid for not being careful. How could they not have heard me walk up the stairs? Didn’t he feel my Ki? Wasn’t the fact that my room being a 11 feet away enough to let them know I was home? It’s not my fault! If I had known, I would have stayed in my room.

I get up and sneak out the window with a light jacket to keep me warm at night and take off in any direction, anywhere that’s not here. They don’t even notice, to busy arguing. I don’t know where to go but the forest is out of the question for obvious reasons. I fly around aimlessly, and end up in somewhere in America.

I land in a secluded wood area and drop my Ki as low as it can go. Low enough to make me vulnerable to anything. Like a human. People of all different races are walking around speaking English and walking to wherever they’re going. I don’t speak English and I don’t know where to go, but I hope being halfway around the world will ensure that he doesn’t find me.

Someone asks me something I don’t understand and I nod my head no. I don’t look Japanese all that much so the people here must think I’m from around here. I don’t know how to tell them I’m not.

I look around at all the faces and decide that I don’t want to be here, so without a word, I float into the air and with a burst of Ki, fly off to the east. People gasp and point but I don’t care, they’ll never see me again. I have to land somewhere before anyone pinpoints my location.

I’m not out of North America yet so I have a little ways to fly. I fly fast hoping to find and waterfall. There is one in the distance but I’m still in the Northern hemisphere. Luckily, the area isn’t populated so I descend and quickly move into the cave behind the waterfall.

Once inside I slump back against the wall and again lower my energy. I feel out Dads and find that he is indeed looking for me. I push my Ki down to dangerous levels, steadily, so he won’t recognize. I’m starting to feel nauseous at having made myself so weak now, but I don’t care and push lower when I realize he’s heading in my direction. I squeeze my eyes shut and keep pressing until I’m on my knees in pain, gasping for breath.

“Aaaggguuhhh.” I moan holding my chest that is enflamed with agony. Then his Ki disappears. I start to cough and choke when he suddenly appears in front of me and jerks me up by my arms.

“Stop that!” He snarls and drags me out of the waterfall. I still don’t stop and he slaps the shit out of me.

“I said to stop!” I stop and let my Ki rise back to normal. He slaps me again and my head snaps sideways. All this abuse can’t be good for me. “Why did you leave?”

“Don’t be stupid Dad, you know why.” I don’t look at him. I can never look at him again. I don’t ever want to see him anymore. I wish I was blind. “It was an accident we didn’t mean for you to see. You didn’t have to go, I wouldn’t have been mad at you for it. You reacted the way I’d react if it were me.” I keep quiet, not even wanting to talk to him anymore.

“Come with me.” He picks me up and IT’s back to the house. I fight fiercely in his arms and he lets me go. I twist and land on my feet, running upstairs to my room.

“Goku, we should have waited until he came home by himself.”

“He wasn’t going to, Chichi, he had his Ki so low, he would have killed himself if I hadn’t come!”

I wasn’t trying to kill myself then, I was desperate. I still am.

“What am I going to do? Things are getting out of my control and he just keeps getting worse. What am I going to do?” He’s frantic now, his voice going up a few octaves higher. I cringe and curl up under my covers in my bed. Holding on to my pillow I silently cry for making him feel so hopeless about me. But I can’t help the way I feel, it’s something I can’t change no matter how I try.

“I’m seriously considering getting the Dragonballs.”

“Goku, that may not work----

“It has to! He’s in pain and I can’t help him. I can at least try.” He leaves Mom in the kitchen and goes off in the direction of Capsule Corp to get Bulma’s Dragon radar. I cry harder and rub my face into my pillow. Because of me he’s so unhappy, and helpless. Maybe the Dragonballs will work. I hope they do. I pray before I fall asleep that he finds them.

I wake up the next day, too scared to get out of bed and use the bathroom. Dad is home and Mom is at work, that leaves us alone. Why is he here? I’d rather pee on myself than go out to the bathroom. I’ll stay here forever if I have to. Now I realize that I still feel exactly the way I felt the day before. It didn’t work. I knew it. I’m just not that lucky. But why didn’t it work? I guess I’ll never know, because I’m never coming out of this room.

I don’t want to see him again. Ever. I just can’t bring my eyes to rest on his face after yesterday.

Kami help me. I wish I had a lock on my door because it opens and he walks in. I quickly avert my eyes and cover my face with my pillow. “Please go away.” I mumble into the fluff.

“Goten. I have to tell you something.”

“It’s not anything I don’t know. You went for the Dragonballs and it didn’t work, though I can’t imagine why not.”

“The Dragon can’t reverse emotions nor can he erase memory for that reason. I…don’t know what to do to help you.”

“Kill me.” I answer calmly.

“What?”

“Do it. I’ll be happy if you do. That’s what will make me happy. I don’t want to do it myself anymore. I want you to do it.” I can hear him sigh and tell me no.

“Well then what are you going to do, I can’t just up and stop wanting you.”

That’s the first time I’ve ever verbally expressed the way I feel about him but it’s too late for secrets now. It was obvious before I said it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Nothing seems to work and you’re more determined than ever to die. What do you want from me?” I don’t know.

“Dad, how can I know? I’m sixteen! I don’t know why I feel this way or what to do about it. The way I see it, there’s only one way out.” He sits on the bed beside me and I get up like lightning, moving far away from him. “Don’t come near me!” He sighs again and thankfully stays where he is.

“Goten please! I love you, you’re my son. I can’t let this happen to you. Please.” Now he’s crying and I feel a bolt of pain stab at my heart for a moment. I want so badly to hug him but I don’t ever want to touch him again so I just sit in the corner and stay silent.

I know he’s hurting inside but I’m hurting too. I’m far worse off because I have to live with this. He won’t let me die. It would be so much easier instead of suffering for possibly to rest of my life.

“Help me.” I whisper and he gets up and walks toward me. I stiffen and move back more. “But don’t touch me.” He stops.

“I can touch you if I want! It’s not like you’ll burst into flames or something.” His hand brushes my arm and I lose it, wailing loudly in his ear. He staggers backward, holding the side of his head and glares murder at me.

“Stay away!” I bite, trying to become one with the closet door but failing.

“Fuck! Stop it! I’m going to touch you and if you scream one more time, I’ll make sure you never scream again!”

I wish he would..

He reaches for me again and I yell at the top of my lungs, my power flaring and putting a huge hole in the wall. Shit! He puts his hand over my mouth to silence me but I scream louder and struggle against him with all my strength. He pulls me tighter against his body and I go Super Saiyan. He powers up with me and wraps his other hand around my neck, damn near strangling me.

I power up as high as I can go but it isn’t enough and he just skyrockets into level two. “I won’t kill you, or even hurt you, but you have to stop. Stop and I’ll let you go.” I immediately go slack in his hold and he cautiously releases me. I rub my neck and still don’t look at him, walking over to my bed and crawling in it. I shake violently as sobs rack my body.

Why is this happening to me? Perhaps I don’t have to do anything, I can die of shame, guilt, fear, need, sadness, or I could suffer to death. I just hope it doesn’t take too long.

I power down and draw my legs closer to my torso. He still doesn’t leave. “Alright Goten. I…will only do this once. But only if you can promise not to ask me again, or go off the deep end with it. I can’t have you think that I’m giving you false hope because I’m not. I’m only doing this to help you and show you how much I care about you. You absolutely can’t tell anyone about it or get worse afterward. I’ve run out of options, and I can only think of one thing to give you. I’m not in love with you and I don’t want you that way but I have to do something. I hope you know that I’m doing this out of fear and as a last ditch effort. I didn’t want to have to come to this but you---

“I don’t want your help. If I can’t have you have you to keep then I don’t want you at all.”

“Well, you’re being awfully picky for someone in a situation like this. I’m offering to give you what you need once, and you’re going to refuse it?”

“Yes.” I rasp.

“Then you will suffer.” I will.

He’s giving me the chance to have what I want, but only for one day. I don’t want that, I won’t be able to live with myself afterward, especially knowing that not only is he doing it out of fear, but that he is revolted by the idea of it. No, I don’t want that. If I never see him again, then maybe I can get over this.

“Please.” I whimper. “Please let me go. I can’t be with you here, suffering because I don’t know what I want. Let me leave, let me live on my own. I’ll get a capsule house from Bulma and continue going to school and then to college. I’ll get a job and I’ll get over you.”

He’s silent as if considering this and I hear his footsteps nearing the doorway. “I’ll talk to your mother about it. I can’t let you go without her consent.” Who needs her consent, I’ll leave when he tells me to. I lay in my bed for hours, crying and trying to rock myself to sleep but to no avail. Life is shit and I am soon going to be all alone. I probably could have lived with this feeling, ignored it maybe, if they didn’t know.

If he never knew, this wouldn’t even be a problem, but it is, a big one. I’m going to leave this place and never see him again. He’s my father, this won’t be easy but I have to because he’s my father. There is no other way and I wouldn’t take his offer when I can’t promise I won’t be a worse wreck afterwards.

I wait for hours in my room until Mom comes home and she comes to my room instantly. “Goten, I want you to know that I love you and support your decision all the way. Your father and I wait for the day you can come back to us with your heart in the right place.” She hugs me and I cling back, holding her tightly.

“I love you Mom.”

“I love you too Goten.” I can feel his presence in the door way but I gather myself up and pick up a small duffle back and fill it with some clothes before opening my window and jumping out. I don’t look back at him or say goodbye, I don’t say a thing and just fly to Capsule Corp away from him forever.

Bulma is outside repairing Vegeta’s Gravity Room when I come up behind her and startle her.

“Oh! Goten, you scared me? Whats wrong?”

I waste no time telling her what I want, leaving out the sordid details and tag along with her into her house to get me a capsule. “I won’t delve into your personal life and I wish you the best where ever you go.” She enters the access code for her lab and the door hisses open.

“Take these, and this.” She hands me a large wad of cash and a few capsules. I thank her with a long hug and tell her to tell Trunks that I will be back. I’m not coming back of course but I don’t want him to look from me, so I tell Bulma and she nods her head knowingly. She knows.

“Goodbye Goten, and take care of yourself. If you ever need anything, you can come here.” “I don’t think I’ll be doing that, but thank you so much.” I walk out of her lab, and this may be the last time I ever see her face again.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
I find myself in America again but I set my new home in the forest in the west where I can be alone. I live there for then next year and a half, going back and forth to school most days and getting a job as a construction worker. The pay is good enough to keep me alive and well dressed so I don’t mind working there.

School is almost over and I’m not sure if I want to go to college, because I don’t know what I want to do with my life. Nobody has come for me and I’m still alone, no friends and no girlfriend. I’ve never even slept with a female before, though I know I should do something about the constant erections I’m having. Maybe they would help, maybe not, but I’ve never ventured to try.

A year later, I turn 18 with a 64 ounce bottle of Sake in one hand and my cock in the other, drunk as hell. I jerk myself in rough strokes and take precarious swigs from my bottle, my head swimming with dizziness. I tug faster and squeeze harder and throw my head back as I come for the third time today.

“Oh fuuuccckkk…Dad…” I moan loud and swallow another gulp of liquor before wiping my eyes and my other hand with my shirt. I’m obsessed with him. I moved to get away from him, but I can’t stop thinking of him, he haunts my dreams and my reality, popping up in my head at the most in opportune moments.

A couple of the guys at my job noticed I had a hard on one day and asked me what it was for. I quit that day.

Ever since, I have been careful to take care of my problem before and after work, sometimes up to 5 times a day. It wears me out badly, but the erections just keep coming, and nothing gets them to stop unless I take hold of my cock and bring myself off to the image of his smiling face or naked body.

He’s still so beautiful in my mind, it’s like I see him everyday his face always with me. Day in and Day out I do the same thing. School, when I’m not hung over, jerk off, work, drink, jerk off, jerk off, jerk off, sleep when I’m not too sick to close my eyes, wake up feeling half dead and hung over, jerk off and do it all over again. It’s hell.

I’ve even done my business in school, retreating to the safety of the boys bathroom to toss off in an empty stall. Trunks and I don’t go to the same school any more. He graduated last year early because he’s smart and whatever. I bring my bottle to school and take a swig every time I get the chance.

People stay away from me and say things about me behind my back and tell me that I have a drinking problem. I do, but I have a bigger problem than that, but they will never know. I am rough and mean to others hence the reason I have no friends and nobody wants to be friends with a jerk off drunk. I laugh in spite of myself. That was funny.

I hiccup and roll over on my stomach to go to sleep. I don’t have a bed, I sold it for money to drink. I don’t need to be comfortable anyway. I go to sleep even though I know I have to go to school in a few minutes, I’m too fucked up to care. I’m beginning not to care about whether or not I graduate. I mean, it won’t get me anything. I’m not smart, I never was, and my grades now just aren’t cutting it.

Mom would be so disappointed.

My bottle almost tumbles from my hand but I grip it and guzzle down the last sips and throw it into a wall, the glass shattering on impact. Before I get to go to sleep, I vomit all over myself violently. Man. I’ll clean it up when I wake up.

Sleep comes and knocks me out for so many hours that when I wake up, it’s the next day. I wake up and forget the vomit on my face and chin and reach for a bottle of whiskey.

Yeah, the stuff is bitter and nasty as I don’t know what, but it feels better than it tastes.

I down the entire bottle in under a minute, belching and grimacing at my terrible breath. I don’t have toothbrush or mouthwash, I don’t think I need it. What I do need though, is a shower. I thank god I have hot water and peel myself off the floor to head for the bathroom. I take my three minute morning leak and sluggishly hobble into the shower.

There isn’t much to wash, I’ve lost a lot of weight and don’t even eat half as much as I used to. I scrub the bile off of my chest and try to ignore the beginnings of a fresh erection. My hand goes around it. I never could.

The first thing that enters my head is him, naked and surprised. All sorts of scenarios work their way into my mind, and I bring them to life by gripping myself so tight my knees buckle and my cock is in agonizing pain. But I don’t care, I continue to moan loudly and pull on my shaft until a thick stream of white pours out of me, hard and strong, just the way I need it. If it is possible, I may one day masturbate myself to death.

I lean forward against the wall and promptly throw up on it, feeling so sick that I’m brought to my knees as my stomach clenches and convulses, trying to empty food I didn’t eat. I dry heave for about five minutes and breathe raggedly, closing my eyes and feeling my world slip away from me.

I wake up later on the floor of the shower, the water is freezing by now, but I manage to crawl out and sidle up against the toilet and relax until my head stops spinning. I have the most horrible headache known to man, it feels like someone threw a house at me.

I feel too much like shit to move but I need my bottle so I endure the terrible pain to crawl back in the room and get it. Once it’s in my grasp, I open the metal top easily and wrap my lips around the neck of the bottle, shoving the whole thing down my throat.

I choke but don’t pull back, letting the white bubbly stream go straight into my stomach. I finish it and constrict my throat muscles to crush the bottle. Glass slices the inside of my neck up and I pull the bottle out of my mouth and spit some of the pieces out onto the floor. I swallow the others and feel them cutting me up on the inside slashing my tubes and settling sharply in my stomach.

“Ohhhhh…” I groan throatily and cough up a good handful of blood. I lick the blood off my hand and smile to myself warmly. I don’t have anything to do today but go to work in a few hours so I leave the three very tempting bottles alone on my nightstand and sit down to sober up to my thoughts.

I think of him every single day. I wish I had taken him up on that offer to sleep with me once, I could sure as hell use it now. I was naïve and stupid as a kid, but if he ever showed up and asked me again I would not say no a second time.

I’m no longer in love with him, I’m damn near infatuated with him, in lust with him and wanting him every minute of the day. Everyday I wake up facing a challenge: How I’m going to live through it and the next when I can’t keep my hands off myself and the bottle at bay. I don’t even know how I survived so long.

He’s probably already forgotten about me and has another kid with Mom, but I genuinely hope he’s happy. I sure wish I could forget about him. My arms feel like lead as I bring them up to rub my aching temples. The brand new capsule house what’s her name gave me is in appalling shape, and every appliance but the microwave has been sold to support my habit.

People paid good money for the servobots and refrigerator, I still have that money saved for a rainy day, and out here, it rains a lot. Lucky me. I never run out of stuff to drink and never go a day sober. Had I been a human I would be dead ten times over from alcohol poisoning, but I’m not and the liquor makes me sick as a dog and I’m still waiting to die.

He didn’t want me to kill myself with him but now that I’m alone, I could do myself in in a pleasant way, with a smile on my face, vomit all over me and my prick in my hand. Yeah, that’s the way I’ll go.

He doesn’t even know I’m dying, I’ve been dying since my first drink and sooner or later, disease of the heart will catch up with me and rob me of my life and I’ll be happy. I’m still half human and even I can die from too much alcohol, but I eagerly await the day, so that my miserable life was lived short and pitiful. I may very well not make it my 20th birthday. Just the thought of that makes me giggle until my head threatens to explode.

The urge to see him is so strong some days I drink until I vomit blood and can’t twitch a muscle for hours and that’s the only thing that gets me to stay. Death stares me in the face every time I look into the depths of a clear narrow necked bottle of whiskey and I grin wolfishly at it beckoning it to come and get me.

Now I’m sitting here with nothing to do and far from hungry, my fingers digging into the flesh of my arms, clawing the healing skin open again and gouging out blood and meat, tugging at my veins. They are swollen and a sickly green, with a tinge of yellow, blood rapidly pumping through them. I tuck them back in and scratch at my arm until it burns in pain, the skin raw and gushing. I stare down at my arm and let the blood stain my carpet.

“Ahhhhh.” I sigh contentedly.

My skinny body had lost almost all muscle tone and is hanging off of my bones just to keep me warm, which it isn’t doing a very good job at. Every once in a while, I shoot my arms with a needle filled with heroin but it isn’t my favorite because I don’t really like the things I have to go through to make the stuff. I need relief when I want it and my drinks are the quickest way to get it.

Heroin is strong, a lot more effective than the liquor but you gotta cook it, cut it, boil it, and somehow blaaaaaahhhhhhhh…...

My head lolls to the side and my train of though cuts itself off as it sometimes does when I’m so drunk. Drool drips out of my mouth and onto my shoulder, I feel so fucked up. My bed on the floor with no sheets or even a pillow is looking good right now and I crawl to it and lie down. In minutes I drift off into a somewhat peacefully long slumber. When I wake up the darkness outside tells me I’ve missed work. Again.

I don’t even move, I just outstretch my arm and grab something to drink to further enflame my burning throat. When the whiskey goes down, my throat erupts in agonizing discomfort. It hurts so bad but feels so good. My voice box has been seared so I can’t speak loud anymore. Oh well, not that I talk to anyone anyway.

My neck is ablaze as the liquid mercy slides down my gullet and into my empty stomach. I drink and simultaneously grab another and drain it when my first one is done. I cough up more blood into my bottle but drink it anyway and toss them both across the room, not caring where they end up because I’ll never clean it up anyway.

“Ugh.”

I shake my head and run a hand through my long tangled locks of jet black hair. The room is dancing before my eyes but I close them and try to form a thought that makes sense. I’m still in my boxers while I contemplate what to eat for now. I don’t remember if I even have anything to eat.

A bag of opened chips are conveniently placed on the floor beside me and I slowly pick them up and dig in. They are so damn stale, even I don’t find them edible and toss them aside and pick up an old candy and pop it into my mouth.

Blech! This doesn’t taste like candy!

I spit it out into my palm and stare hazily at it for a few minutes before realizing that it isn’t candy. It’s aspirin. I didn’t even know I had it, seeing as I don’t use it and it doesn’t work.

I’m hungry now and don’t have a thing in my house to eat, so I hope that drinking this last bottle of vodka will help sate my hunger until I’m sober enough to move. I take my time with this one, sipping silently and lazing about. There was something I was supposed to be thinking of but I forget and just finish off my bottle, a little too quickly for my liking and careful drop it to the floor next to me.

I roll over and sit up but an unpleasant nausea stirs in my head and stomach so I lie right back down. In a few minutes I should be well enough to get up and go out to buy some food and comfort in a bottle, so in the mean time, I’ll just sit here and wait until something floats by my brain for me to think about.

“I want to see him if he plans on fucking me and that’s it.” I mutter to myself darkly.

That’s all I want, I’m too fucked up to want a stupid father son relationship. I don’t need that, I need sex! I slur on my words and cough up phlegm and spit it out beside me. I don’t have a trash can, my room is my trash can.

I get up when I don’t think I’ll be sick and pull on some pants and a ripped t-shirt and walk out side into the December air, but I don’t feel it because I’m too numb to feel anything but the headache I’ve got.

I’m too wasted to fly so I walk for hours in the snow all the way to the nearest liquor store before I realize I don’t have any shoes on. I only figured it out by looking down at the ground and seeing that my skin was exposed.

I shrug it off and continue on my unmerry way, shuffling through the snow with people giving me odd looks like I’m not normal. I’m perfectly normal. Storming into the liquor store, I flash my identifi-whatchmacallit and push a wad of bills into the little window.

The man inside gives me a suspicious look and hands me what I ask for in a low voice so as not to upset my throat. “You having a party, kid?” He asks me in broken English that I barely understand for a second and then I nod yes.

Yeah, a party. All by myself.

I grunt and leave the store with my precious cargo in my arms. Shit I forgot about the food! I can’t carry it all so I decide I will come back when I drop this off at home.

“Oh my god! Goten?!”

I don’t answer not really hearing it and keep stumbling along for the two hundred and seventy two mile journey home.

“Goten!”

The voice comes closer and this time I turn around in a haze of painful drunkenness and curiosity.

“Oh, god not you!” I mutter lowly and turn away and keep acting as he if never existed. A hand touches my shoulder and I pull back so fast I drop my bags and hear glass break. “You fuck! Look what the hell you made me do?!” I bend over to pick it up and save a few bottles. Now I have to buy more…

The tall man and his shorter counterpart try to grab me. I fight but my head turns into a roller coaster and I end up throwing up blood all over the person that grabs my arm.

“Shit! Kakarotto, he’s pissy drunk!” Kakarotto. Oh!

“Dad?” I ask squinting and frowning. “Don’t touch me, what the fuck do you assholes want?”

“Goten, what’s wrong with you?” I laugh and cough up more blood as my throat constricts and throbs with pain. “Didn’t you here the shorter little prick? I’m drunk!” They barely hear me because of my voice and I hold my bag tighter and walk away from the two.

“Goten wait, what’s wrong with your voice?”

“I don’t remember.” I reply distantly and ignore the two for the third time before I’m being pulled again. “Hey!” I gasp, breathing roughly and trying to tug my arm out of his grip but I’m too weak in this state. “If you aren’t here to fuck me than you can go burn in hell!”

Vegeta, yes, that’s his name, looks he just witnessed the sky fall and looks from me to my father in astonishment. “What the fuck? Kakarotto, what the hell is wrong with him is he so drunk he doesn’t know who you are?”

“I know who he is and if he isn’t going to plow me tonight then he can leave now. I am in no mood to play around with you. I don’t want to see your face right now and am really hungry. I’ve got a long walk ahead of me and I really need to save my strength to jerk off a few times tonight and go to work tomorrow, so if you’ll excuse me.” I slur unhappily.

They’re both stunned and I take the initiative to leave, not wanting to fly off because I might drop my important load. “What’s in the bag?” “My friends.” I reply. They won’t leave me alone.

Vegeta steps forward and tries to reach for me but I snatch the nearest woman and hold her with one arm. “I will kill her. Leave me the fuck alone and drop dead!” I tighten my arm around her neck and she cries out in fear. I laugh bitterly. Dad tries to calm me down and slowly reaches out to me like a child. I glare at his hand and smile.

“What do you want after two years of not giving a living fuck about me? You happen…hic…to see me on the streets and want to act like you care. Please, fuck off and go jump into a fire and leave me alone. Now I’m going home to get drunker, eat, jerk off, cry like a bitch and go to sleep if I’m not too sick.”

“Kakarotto, he’s sick!” “Shut up Vegeta! Goten, I’ve been looking for you but you’ve told me not to find you. I wanted to see you and we wanted to know how you were doing. I---

“Well now you see how I’m doing, so if you aren’t here to fix some of my problems then GET BENT!” I scream, my airways enflamed and I heave up blood and a large piece of glass. Oh, how did that get there?

“What the hell, Kakarotto we need to take him and bring him to Capsule Corp.”

“Vegeta, I’m right here. If that was supposed to be a secret then you failed miserably. I’m not going anywhere but home to drink and bring myself off to thoughts of this freak here.” I release the bitch and point to my father. Drunkenly, I smirk at him and he looks mortified and disgusted by my new personality.

“I’m hungry and don’t stop me this time. I never wanted to…” My voice comes out so hoarse it is nothing more than a whisper. I fall to my knees and clutch my bag protectively and mutter, “I need another job.”

“I won’t leave you here Goten! Please, come with me so we can help you.”

“No”, I whisper. “You, only you can help. I need you to…fuck me. Then you can piss off.” He doesn’t hear me because I’m only mouthing the words because they won’t come out anymore no matter how hard I try. I’ve lost my ability to speak.

Well, if they won’t let me leave, then I’ll do my business here. I fish in my bag wordlessly and sit on the curb. I tear the cap off of the bourbon and again tilt my head back and shove it down my throat. Vegeta is staring at me in terror and I smirk as much as possible around the bottle. I slip my hand in my loose pants and wrap it around my aching length.

Jamming the bottle farther down my already abused esophagus, I let it flow into my hungry stomach and try to crack the glass but can’t because my throat can’t do anything. I can’t swallow or talk, so I take the bottle out and turn it to shards and stuff them in my mouth. Dad immediately goes for me upon seeing this and grabs my hand to pull it away from my mouth. I struggle vainly, and decide to let him take it. I have more. I want to speak but I can’t.

“Goten!”

I slump to the side and throw up on the curb, no sounds but choking and splashing can be heard from me. I’m choking on the vomit because I can no longer breathe. Yes. I smile up at Dad and lay my head on the concrete to take a rest I hope I never wake up from.

Damnit, what hell? I wake up in a fucking pool or something. No, there’s glass around it, and there is something on my mouth preventing me from cursing out loud. I suck my teeth and reach up to pull the mask off.

I’m still alive.

If no one walks in, maybe I’ll drown.

A woman with blue hair pops up in front of me and I splutter with rage, banging on the glass to signal her to get me out, She nods her head no and smiles at me. I bang harder and curse her with bubbles. She points to the mask and her face. I won’t put it back on. I smile evilly and shake my head no, relaxing enough to let the water invade my throat and lungs.

Her eyes widen and runs to the control panel to turn the machine off before I drown myself. The water in the tank lowers and drains until I’m left shivering from the sudden cold and lack of clothing. The flat door opens and I run out, right through her and out of her lab. Just to run into my father.

“Augh! What the hell do you want?! Ever time I look, you’re there! Don’t you have somewhere to be? You heard me before, if that’s not why you’re in front of me than will you please go away?”

“Goten.” He sighs. “What happens if I do it?”

“I’ll leave you alone.”

“But I don’t want that---

“Since when was this about what you wanted?! Get real Dad, you don’t know shit about needing anything. Move the fuck out of my way before I make you and let me go home.”

I can’t make him move if I dreamed of it, so I just stand there and wait patiently.

“What did you people do with my liquor?” “Goten, it’s all gone.” “No! Get it back now! If you don’t, you never know who’s going to get hurt.” He glares down at me and presses his lips together.

“Move, before I do something to you.”

“Like what?” My eyes glow with hate and my arms go lax at my sides. “Fine.” I walk over to Bulma and try not to look as if I’m about to do something to her like I will when I get close enough. “Do you have any food Bulma?” I ask gently. “Sure. In the kitchen I made some food incase you---

My hands shoots out to wrap around her lithe neck and squeeze with all of the strength which is still enough to pick her up off the ground and grind the bones of her throat together. She claws her perfect fingernails over my skin and tears my hand.

I pull my other arm back to slap the bitch and am flung into a wall and hit the floor with a dull thud. I groan and smile, wiping my hands on my boxers. Dad has me by my neck now, hauling me up and tightening his hand around me.

“I can’t win with you. I try to give you what you want and you still act like a little bastard. I try to help you and this is what you do. But, Goten, you see the Dragon has a condition to change you. You have to die. And come back pure hearted or at least halfway decent. Now, I have absolutely no problem killing you to get my son back.”

“Hate you.” I wheeze out, with my eyes closed and my hands around his.

“No.”

He squeezes until and audible pop is heard. I slump out of his grip and attempt to cling on to the last breaths of life. I’m going to die now for sure. I want to…

“Dad. I---l-love you.” Blood floods out of my mouth and down my chest and I slip into darkness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~
EPILOGUE

The kitchen is alive with morning mirth and I have my eyes glued to my father. He’s looking back at me and he motions for me to come over to him. Mom looks at us and leaves the room as if on cue. I hesitantly go, not wanting to be near him.

“Goten, do you like me?”

“Yes, you’re my father why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, I have to ask you again, but we’re going to go somewhere, that okay?” “Yeah sure, Dad.” Oh god. I’m in trouble. He wants to talk to me alone and it can’t be good. I know what this is about and I most certainly don’t want to go but I can’t tell him no.

I glance at his face to see if he looks angry or anything but he only smiles and eats his food. I slurp a sausage into my mouth and eat as fast as I can. I creep away outside and wait for him on the porch, nervous as all hell. I wonder if he knows? He must or he wouldn’t have asked.

“Hey, lets go somewhere far.” He zips into the air and I follow with the enthusiasm of a dead man, hallow with fear. We land somewhere that actually isn’t that far and he moves toward me quickly.

“Ah!” I back up and he smiles wider.

“I thought so.”

“Thought what?”

“You know, you don’t have to be afraid to come near me if you like me so much.”

I try to act like I don’t know what he’s getting at and turn away from him to nervously peel the bark from a tree. “Goten, it’s not good if you hold it in. It doesn’t bother me.” I don’t have to ask what he’s talking about to know.

“How did you figure it out?”

“Oh, I’m your father, I care about things like that and I could also tell by the way you look at me. Goten, it isn’t natural or normal by human standards, but we aren’t human and so it is acceptable for us. I won’t tell you to expect I feel the same way, but just know that I care about your feelings and want you to know that I will never be ashamed, disgusted, or mad at you for feeling emotions.”

“But I…”

“It’s alright. Here let me show you.” He takes a few steps over to me and presses me against the tree. I stare into his eyes and swallow a lump of anticipation in my throat. His now 5’8 frame leans into my slighter 5’5 and he smiles before he presses his warm lips to mine. I turn to liquid lust in his arms and he holds me and deepens the kiss, touching his tongue out in a silent plea for access. I open my mouth whimper when his tongue meets mine for the first time.

I bring my arms up to touch him and gasp when he pushes me harder into the tree, cupping my face and tonguing me to tears. Literally, my eyes water up and I begin to sob softly in happiness. We kiss until we loose our breath and part, both flustered. I’m horny now, but happy and wouldn’t ask for more.

“See? I will always love you and you can talk to me about anything. Just tell me and I’ll listen and try to help. I won’t always be able to help the way you need me to because I have an obligation to your mother and love her as much as I love you so I’ll be fair when I can. Alright?”

More than alright! I’m the happiest person in the universe! “You’re so beautiful, Dad.” He blushes cutely. “Thank you.” He whispers. “Let’s go home, your mother is waiting to go to the beach today and you know we shouldn’t disappoint her.” No we most certainly don’t. I run off to catch up with laughing and jumping on his back as he IT’s back home.

Mom is awaiting us with smile on her face, bathing suit on and beach umbrella in hand. She winks at me and I smile back at her as Dad and I rush into the house to get our things. We get ready and arrive in minutes, me making fun of his swimming trunks with colorful little fishes on them all the way there. We laugh together and amuse ourselves further by messing with Mom in midair making her screech and giggle depending on high or low we went.

Minutes later we are relaxing on the beach, Mom and Dad in the water splashing each other with waves.

I have to the perfect life and I don’t know what I would do if Dad weren’t so understanding. I love him as a father and more but I’m not in love with him, I found that out when he kissed me today. I’m lucky to have a Dad like him and a Mom like her, because if I didn’t, my life could have turned out so much worse.

OWARI

No flames!!!! I don’t want to see them! And you guys thought I only write lemon. I can be a pretty angsty person when I get down to it. Tell me what you guys thought, I came up with this in about a day, so please review and tell me what you think of all my hard work.