His Replacement | By : yeagerbomb Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 840 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
okay, this is edxal. there is a lemon-thing, and some german words. here is the list:
fick = fuck
harter = harder
bitte = please
entschuldigung = i'm sorry
Scheiße = shit
ich liebe dich = i love you
guten morgen = good morning
ich hasse dich = i hate you
that's it! enjoy the fic! i wrote it in one day!! and ada, thanks for pointing out the error. i have fixed them. i had found two translations, and just picked one, though 'dich' was the first one i found.
December 5, 2007
“Ah… A-Al-Alf-fon…fons-s-s.” Al bit his lip, trying to ignore the mispronunciation of his name. It was common; German tended to mess it up a little, so Al had learned to overlook it. “Fick… Oh, fick!” It irritated Al a little that he spoke in German so much. He supposed he had to forgive him, since they were living in Germany, but did they really need to use the language in bed?
“Ed,” Al grunted out. That wasn’t as easy a task as it could have been. His face was pressed against the mattress with his head turned to one side to ensure his ability to breathe. Al’s fingers were clawing at the sheets, his arms bent as close to themselves as they possibly could be. His upper chest was on the bed as well and his knees were tucked up near his stomach. In all honesty, it was an all-together uncomfortable position. But Ed was thrusting relentlessly into his offered hole, striking his prostate over and over, making Al much more compliant. “H-hä
rter, Ed… Bitte, hä
rter!”
Ed complied, picking up his pace and making Al shout in pleasure. When had Ed asked him to use his name during sex? Al couldn’t remember. It had to have been one of the first couple of times, because he couldn’t remember doing it without begging him for more by name. Ed was leaning further forward, his long hair hanging over his shoulder and brushing along Al’s back.
When had Al cut his hair? It must have been only a few weeks after arriving on this side of the gate. Ed had suggested it, and that was quite a while before anything began between them.
“Alfons!” Ed shouted. He reached around Al’s waist and gently grabbed his swollen cock. The older Elric began stroking the younger with his thrusts, and Al started bucking as best he could into the hand and Ed’s thrusts, but his position was extremely awkward, and he wasn’t getting much for his attempts.
“Ed,” Al whined. “Ed, please!” Ed’s only response was to bite his back a bit more harshly than he normally would. Al winced, knowing it would leave a mark and hoped it wouldn’t bleed. He’d spoken in Amestrian, and Ed didn’t like him to while they did this. He wanted Al to use German; he’d asked at the same time as he had for using his name. “Entschuldigung…” Al whispered. Ed licked the bite mark, accepting the apology, and thrust in as deeply as he could reach. Ed’s balls smacked Al’s ass with a quiet sound.
Had they ever done this facing one another? Al didn’t think so. Every time in his memory had him on his hands and knees with Ed kneeling behind him, pounding him into the floor or mattress. Al corrected himself silently: once he had been pressed against a wall. He wasn’t on his hands that time, but Ed had still had him kneeling.
Ed was nearing his climax; Al could hear it in his voice. Al wasn’t there yet, and he started whimpering, pressing as hard against Ed as he could. “Scheiße, scheiße, SCHEIßE!” Ed screamed. “ALFONS!” He came hard into Al, coating his insides with his fluids. Ed collapsed against Al, who was still painfully hard.
Ed gasped for breath and Al wriggled beneath him, trying to find some sort of friction or stimulus for his dick or prostate. Al wanted to finish so badly, but with Ed lying on him movement was difficult. He sighed in irritation. It wasn’t often that Ed didn’t finish them both, but when Al didn’t make it, Ed wouldn’t help him.
Al managed to sit up, knocking Ed onto the bed. He slipped out of Al as he fell back. Al grabbed his cock in one hand and reached the other back to probe for his prostate. He slid two fingers into his slick hole and thrust them in and out. It took only a few tries before he hit his prostate and moaned. His other hand pumped up and down his dick and Al threw his head back in pleasure. After a few short moments he came on the sheets, crying out.
Al fell against the wall, panting, and didn’t bother to look over his shoulder at Ed. He had most likely fallen asleep or was half-hard again from watching Al. The younger brother caught his breath, then stood and went to take a shower. He glanced at Ed, who had fallen asleep, and rolled his eyes.
As Al let the water heat up, he looked at his reflection. He had been living here with his brother for several years. His body, which had been only that of a fourteen-year-old boy upon arrival, was now nearly that of a twenty-year-old man. He was lean yet muscular, and his hair was short, the way Ed liked. Al put a hand to his hair. He wasn’t sure he really liked it this short; it was just so strange after all those years of long hair. Al had gotten used to it now, but sometimes he still missed the long hair he had had. Recently, Ed had brought up dying it a lighter blond. Al really didn’t think that would look good against his darker skin, but he was considering it for Ed.
Al stepped into the shower and stood under the spray for a few minutes, just soaking up the warmth. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. When he opened his eyes, everything looked a little blurry. Al blinked to focus, but it didn’t really help. He rubbed his eyes, thinking perhaps water had gotten in them, but how? They had been closed. He was sure he felt water from them on his hands, even though they were already wet; the temperature had been slightly lower.
Al wiped the water away, but a few moments later his eyes were swimming again. What’s wrong with me? he thought. As he wiped it all away again, he realized he was crying. Al stared at his hands for a long minute, watching as they became bleary from his tears. Al couldn’t understand why he was crying. Nothing hurt, at least not any more than usual, and while he certainly was a softer touch than Ed, nothing had happened recently to make him upset.
Al tried to ignore it and began to wash. The tears continued to come and trail down his face, but he pretended it was all just from the shower. When he washed his hair, Al felt a pang in his chest. He really missed his long hair. He paused for a moment. Maybe that was the problem? But it seemed so late; he’d cut his hair years ago. And now Ed wanted to make him a wash-out blond. Al almost laughed when the mental image crossed his mind. He would look ridiculous!
Then Al remembered the boy that had been dead when they got to Germany. Ed had told Al about him. They had been friends, had worked together on things, and he had helped Ed a lot. Al sighed. He’d felt badly, but honestly couldn’t bring himself to be particularly sad, since he had never known him.
Al rinsed his hair, trying to remember the boy’s name. It had started with a vowel, he was sure. Owen? Evan? Aaron? Al shook his head and stepped back out of the shower. He really didn’t know and didn’t exactly care. He did care, however, that he was still crying. Al dried himself off, then put the towel to his head. He glanced at the mirror and nearly jumped. He was looking right at that boy. After a few seconds he realized it was just his reflection, and then put it together. That other boy had been this world’s double of himself. How had he not known?
Al looked at the door, thinking of Ed. Why hadn’t Ed told him? And hadn’t he been a blond? Al thought while he put on his pajamas. Yes, he was sure he had, and he was sure he’d had short hair, very similar to the style Al had been sporting for nearly six years.
Al felt his tears grow hotter. He pulled out his toothbrush and continued getting ready for bed. That couldn’t be why Ed had asked these things of him, could it? Al nodded to himself. That was crazy; Ed trying to make him look like this other guy. He brushed his teeth harder than normal, but didn’t really notice.
Of course, the issue of speaking in German during sex made more sense now. Ed was doing his damnedest to picture this German boy in his place. But still, Ed said his name, so Ed couldn’t hold no feelings for him. Could he?
Al spat into the sink and walked back to the bedroom. He was gaining control of his tears, but still glared at Ed before throwing a blanket over him. Al lay down in the other bed and settled to go to sleep. Usually they slept together after sex, because either neither would get cleaned up or both would, at least enough to be in the same bed. The separate beds were half for show, so no one would think it strange that the two brothers were sharing a room. As the tears began to fade and sleep began to draw near, Al heard Ed mumble in his sleep.
“Ich liebe dich, Alfons…”
It was like an icicle struck his heart. Alfons. That was the other boy’s name. The tears were burning hot in his eyes now, threatening to bore holes right to the back of his skull. Al turned over in an attempt to sleep, but it didn’t happen. He was struggling not to sob, and after half an hour he got up and dressed. It was late, between two and three in the morning, but Al left the apartment building for a walk around the block.
He made it halfway before breaking down on a bench near a park. Al allowed himself to sit, but soon was sobbing into his hands and bawling. He wouldn’t have been surprised to wake up the whole neighborhood, but not a single person looked out. For nearly an hour, Al sat there crying, and then he started swearing at Ed quietly in Amestrian. Eventually he started getting louder and even resorted to punching the bench and his legs in frustration. How could Ed have done this to him? Why would he? Al… Al had honestly loved him, and Ed had used that. It wasn’t fair.
Al collapsed onto the bench in exhaustion a little while later, and actually did fall asleep there. He woke with a start when someone nudged him rather sharply in the side. Al sat up and looked into the familiar face of Maes Hughes. Well, Al supposed it wasn’t really Maes, but he was his look-alike. Minze was looking at Al curiously.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked kindly in German.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Al answered. He looked at the bench and shrugged. “I guess it caught up with me.” He saw the sun was just beginning to rise; it couldn’t be much after seven.
“Well, you ought to get to your apartment,” Minze advised. Al nodded. Minze went on his way and Al finished his trip around the block before going up stairs. He was angry again, after going over it all in his mind, but he was done crying about it. At least for now. Maybe after Ed got mad or left him, then he would cry again, but not now. Besides, Ed wouldn’t be leaving him if he had anything to do about it.
Al closed the door quietly, not wanting to wake Ed, and walked into the kitchen. He looked around at the cupboards and counters, thinking about whether or not he was hungry. Deciding he was not, Al pulled out the kettle to boil water for tea. Tea calmed him down most of the time, at least to the point that he could control himself. As he set the kettle on the stove, Al heard the shower start. Ed was up. Good. That meant they could talk before his anger had been completely washed away.
Al sat at the table with a cup and teabag, waiting for the water. The kettle began whistling just as the shower shut off. Al poured the water and watched as the flavor and coloring leaked into the liquid.
Alfons. As far as Al could tell, he and Ed had been together, or Ed had at least wanted to be with him. Did they only have sex the way Ed and Al did? Did Ed take better care of Alfons? Al snorted at the thought and lifted his teabag, stirring it a little. He breathed in the aroma and sighed contentedly. Tea really did make him feel better. A moment later, Ed came into the kitchen, just as Al took the first sip of his tea.
“Guten morgen,” Ed said, grabbing a cup to pour himself tea. Al nodded in response, but didn’t speak, annoyed by the continued German. Ed glanced at him but didn’t comment. Then he looked around the counters and back at Al. “Are we not eating this morning?”
Al shrugged. At least he’d addressed him in Amestrian that time. “I wasn’t hungry, Brother.”
“Oh.” Ed opened the refrigerator and pulled out a piece of fruit. He sat at the table across from Al and started eating. After a few seconds of strained silence, Al spoke.
“You wanted me to dye my hair, right?” Ed looked up and nodded. “Why?”
“Why? Al, just… I don’t know, I thought you might like it better to look a bit more Aryan. I mean, they’ve been talking about carting non-Aryan’s away recently.” Al blinked at that. Was Ed really just concerned about his safety? He felt his anger start to turn into guilt.
“Okay.” Al took a drink of his tea. “Do you want some eggs, Brother?” Ed smiled.
“That would be great, Al.”
Al stood and started heating a pan while he took out some eggs. “Scrambled?”
“Sure.” Al was feeling much less angry now, if a bit guilty. He should have known Ed wouldn’t have been using him for something like that. As he cracked the eggs into the pan, however, he couldn’t help wanting to ask a few more questions, just to be sure.
“So, if I dye my hair, can I grow it back out?” Al asked. He had put off asking for a while, but looking for information seemed like a good enough excuse.
“Grow it out?” Ed repeated. “But, well… Don’t you like it that way?”
“Not really. I’d rather it be like yours, Brother.”
“But Al, I really like your hair short.” Al turned to face him.
“Really?” Ed nodded. “Why?” Ed was quiet for a moment, thinking.
“If your hair was long it would get in the way of your face. And I love to look at your face.”
“I could tie it back, like you do.”
“Yeah, but… It would get in the way of things. And… It would be untied when we’re in bed. It would cover your face then.” Al opened his mouth to tell Ed that it would be fine, but closed it quickly and turned back to the eggs. Ed let out a small sound, presumably in victory. Al made sure the food wasn’t burning, then spoke.
“Brother, you never see my face.”
“What?”
“When we’re ‘in bed’, you never see my face.”
“Yes I do,” Ed argued, and Al spun around on his heel, feeling his anger return in full force.
“No you don’t! It’s always shoved against whatever we’re on while you fuck me from behind!” Al was glaring down at him, clutching the spatula tightly in his right hand.
“Al, I-”
“Brother, I don’t want to fight with you, I really don’t, but I just-- You’re not giving me much of a choice right now!” Al turned off the stove and stared angrily down at the food.
“Al,” Ed tried. Al was starting to shake. He was so stupid. He was completely angry again, and now he was sure Ed had been using him. He’d been pretending. “Al, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Al shouted, whipping back around. “Ed, I’m not an idiot. Did you really think I would never figure out what you were doing?” Ed looked like he was trying to look bewildered, but looked more frightened than anything else.
“Al, what are you-?”
“Shut up!” Al snapped. “Sit down and answer some questions, okay?” Ed didn’t move. “Sit down!” Ed sat, his tea and fruit forgotten. “Why did you have me cut my hair?” Ed swallowed. “Why?”
“So I could see your face,” Ed answered. Al glared, but accepted the answer.
“Why do you want me to dye it?”
“For your protection. The Nazis have been by a couple of times, and-”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I’m not!”
“The Nazis haven’t been in this neighborhood for months! You asked me two weeks ago. The Nazis were not on your mind.”
“Al-”
“Why don’t you call me ‘Al’ during sex?”
Ed blinked a few times. “What?”
“You never say ‘Al’. You say ‘Alfons’,” Al said, being sure to give it the German twist that made it not his own name. “Why?” Ed couldn’t speak; his mouth moved, like a fish gasping for breath. “Why, Ed?”
“It just comes out that way,” Ed finally forced out. “I’m speaking German and the accent bleeds on your name.”
“Why not just ‘Al’?”
“Your full name seems more appropriate,” Ed said with a small shrug. He was trying to look a bit more comfortable, but Al knew he was far from that.
“Why do you want me to use your name?”
“Oh. Well, it just, uh,” Ed stumbled over the words. He didn’t have an answer.
“And why do I have to speak in German?”
“Well, just because, see, um…”
“Why do you always take me from behind? Why can’t I take you? Why can’t I face you?”
“Al, it’s just… That’s the least painful way. I… I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t care! Brother, it hurts no matter what, but I don’t care! I just want to be with you.” Ed looked at Al, unable to say anything. He didn’t know what he could say. “Brother, I wanted to be with you when this started, I really did!” Ed looked frightened again, possibly afraid Al might end things. “Damnit, I still do! I really want to be your boyfriend. But… I don’t want to be your dead boyfriend, Brother!”
“What?”
“Alfons! I don’t want to be Alfons! I want to be me, your little brother. I want you to be with me for me, not for who I sort of look like!”
“Al-”
“Did you treat him the way you treat me? Or was satisfaction guaranteed for him?” Al hadn’t meant to go there, but now that he had there was no going back.
“What?”
“When I don’t come before you, you leave me to take care of myself. Did you do that to him?”
“Al, I didn’t-”
“Why didn’t you tell me he was my double then? If it wasn’t because you wanted to hide the fact that you were thinking about him instead of me?”
“Al! I was embarrassed from the start, getting a crush on him! He looked exactly like you, and it was plain uncomfortable!”
“So what? That doesn’t answer my question!”
“Al,” Ed growled. “I didn’t want this to happen!”
Al paused for a moment. “You still didn’t tell me why I have to call you ‘Ed’ and use German. I’m sick of lies, and you know I can tell when you’re lying, so don’t even try them! Just tell me why you can’t let go of him; why you have to use me as his replacement.”
“Al… I…”
“You what, Ed?” Al was fuming and Ed didn’t know how to appease him. He didn’t want to just say what Al wanted to hear, but he didn’t want to lie either.
“Al… Fine,” he sighed. “You want to know the truth? Fine. I fell in love with Alfons, and we had a beautiful relationship. When he died, I was heartbroken but you were here with me. You made me feel better, and you look just like him. You cut your hair for me and when we started what we have, you did everything I asked of you. Yes. I would look at the back of your head and think of him. That’s what you want to hear, right?” Al was shaking again. He’d had his suspicions, but he had never thought Ed would actually admit it. Eventually, Ed couldn’t take the silence anymore “So now what? Are you going to leave, or are we going to make up?”
Al glared at Ed with teary eyes. “Ich hasse dich!” he shouted, then stormed out of the apartment. Ed stood in the kitchen, staring numbly at the door. Al had left. He’d really left.
Al stomped down the sidewalk and across the street. He kicked a curb and swore in Amestrian. He didn’t care if a cop or Nazi took him away. In fact, he sort of hoped one would. It would serve Ed right to be worried about him for a night, or a week, or the rest of his life. Maybe he wouldn’t go back home. Maybe he would just leave forever.
The further he got from home, though, the more Al wanted to go back. He knew Ed had wronged him, but he was his brother. He was his first love. Maybe they could work this out. But then again, maybe Ed would just keep using him that same way. Al was fighting tears as he wandered the town.
He ended up walking all day. It was nearly dark when he found himself back outside his apartment building. Al stared up at their apartment. A light was on, and he sighed. He’d known he would come back. He just couldn’t leave Ed.
Al made his way upstairs and let himself into the apartment. “Brother?” he called. Ed came into the front room, looking surprised and relieved.
“Al! I was so worried. I didn’t think you were coming back.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I…” Al looked into Ed’s eyes. “I love you Brother, and I’ll do anything to make you happy.” Ed smiled and pulled him down for a kiss. Al knew he wouldn’t be happy, but as long as Ed was, that was all that mattered.
~~~
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