Movie Magic | By : Chuquita Category: Dragon Ball Z > General Views: 380 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Movie Magic
2:50 AM 5/20/2008
Disclaimer: Dragon
Ball Z and its characters are a property of Akira Toriyama
and Bird Studio. All non-canon characters
are property of this author.
Quote of the Week: -from Tankobon # 8
Roshi: (watching Bulma build a phone out of spare parts) There's a thin line
between idiocy and genius....
Chuquita's Corner:/Author's Notes
Vegeta: Such is most undoubtedly true.
Chuquita: Welcome to Oneshot
3 of 4, everyone!
Vegeta: I still don't see the point of these.
Chuquita: (holds up pointer finger) It's an exercise in making use of other parts of the
timeline, relaxation from the drama,
and something to tide over while I settle certain
facts and such down for the next chunk of the main timeline.
Vegeta: Huh.
Chuquita: Also, I learned a large amount of my
school stress was in my head; I passed all my classes and did better than I
thought I had.
Vegeta: (sighs) The
stress is ALWAYS in your head.
Goku: Veggie would know. :3
Vegeta: (sweatdrops) ...
Chuquita: Anyways~! As you can already tell by the
title of this oneshot, we're jumping ahead to AU
semi-recent land, as in,
everyone knows who everyone else is already;
we're post-Buu, post-the fusions, post-Raditsu, post-Brolli, and post-Turles BUT
not quite to the whole recent-drama stuff.
Vegeta: (frowns) That's kind of a vague
"somewhere within the past four years" sort of statement.
Chuquita: It is indeed. :)
Goku: (looks outside at the rain and sighs
heavily, wearing his swimtrunks)
Chuquita: Aw, it'll stop eventually. It has to.
Vegeta: (to Goku) You know Kakarrotto you could
always pretend the bathtub is a pool for now.
Goku: (looks over at the Veggie)
...
Vegeta: ...
Goku: Would Veggie come
skinny-dipping with me? :3
Vegeta: Ah--!
Goku: :)
Chuquita: :3
Vegeta: ... (gets up
out of his chair and walks off with Goku, then pauses
and runs back for his waterbottle)
Chuquita: ? (grins
at him)
Vegeta: (menacingly) Don't
say a word I will return in a moment. (walks off again
only to be thrust with a beach towel and
suntan lotion from Goku)
(sweatdrops) ...what do I even need the lotion for!?
We're INSIDE!
Chuquita: And now for the oneshot~!
:D
Summary: Vegeta Oujisama has learned that
South City Productions will be basing a summer blockbuster--with many
adaptations--on his
long-ago
battle against Son Goku and the Z Senshi.
Upset at the glaring factual errors and blatant changes to his and Goku's "characters",
the ouji's natural course of action is to drag Goku with him to the set and immediately take over all
production; going so far as to even
manufacture a few events of his own. Once they learn of Vegeta's
own personal take on the past, will the rest of the Z senshi
be able to
take
him down before his feature film goes to press?
Chapter Titles: Miss me? l Looking
for help in the Right Places l It’s Vegeta! l Typing the Writer l Packed and Ready l
l The Adaptations l Preview of the Never to
Come l Wardrobe Confrontations l Hair-Raising, for lack of a better pun. l
l A gag or two is good for the soul l Scripterential Differences l Unexpected pleasant endings l
*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
" Oi
everyone it's been a long month hasn't it. Feels more like two....or three. "
" Who are you talking to?!
" Raditsu peered out from behind the magazine he
was reading over at Turles who was
hovering half
a room away in the mid-air.
" Hm~?
" Turles looked over his shoulder, smirking
contently, " The audience of course, I'd hope I
haven't been
completely
forgotten though my personal absence these past couple stories has been due to
situations beyond my control. " he
shrugged,
then floated over to where the larger saiyajin sat on
the couch, " So, Lackey-- "
" --not your
"lackey". "
" --may I ask what type of
literature you're burying your nose in? "
" None of your business.
" Raditsu shortly replied, flipping the page.
" Oh Raditsu!
Turles! " Bunni
called from the kitchen, " Trunks and I are making cookies together, would
you like
any?
"
" Sure. " Raditsu smiled over at them.
" Can I help make them?
" Turles pointed at himself.
" I don't want any. " Raditsu turned back to his magazine.
" Don't trust me with the
food, eh? "
" Don't trust you with a
lot of things. " the larger saiyajin flipped to
the next page and froze, then suddenly began
to read
at a rapid pace.
Turles glanced over at him,
noticing the jilted movements, " Something catch
your eye? "
Raditsu ignored him and
continued to read, an uneasy feeling rising in the pit of his stomach before
his eyes finally
dropped down
upon a photo at the end of the article of a young, beautiful starlet, "
Oh....shit. "
" What? Who's that? "
Raditsu moved further down the
couch so Turles couldn't peek over his shoulder, " Some movie studio is going to be
making a
"historical adaption" film "based on
the events of the 'Battle for Earth'". "
" Por
que? "
" It looks like what
they're calling that time Vegeta and Nappa attacked Earth and then fought Kakarrotto
and the
rest of Kakarrotto's friends. Seems they had video footage of the
fights and some interviews to go on. "
" So? Aren't historical
adaptations of important events to various entertainment mediums common here on
Earth? "
" That's just it, it's
"based on". We, we can't let Vegeta see
this. "
Turles raised an eyebrow, " Why not? "
" ... " Raditsu
glanced up at him for a moment, " Promise you won't laugh. " he spoke
in a serious tone.
" Me? Of course not,
Lackey. " Turles
smirked back at him.
" ... "
" ... "
The larger saiyajin heaved a
sigh and held out the page of the magazine, " They've
recast Vegeta as a woman. "
The smirk widened into a full, closed grin.
A vein bulged on Raditsu's
forehead at the expression of the evil type-3 saiyajin.
" I wonder how Vegeta-san's going to take this... "
" YOU WON'T TELL HIM A
THING! " Raditsu leapt to his feet and slammed
his boot against the top of the couch.
" You can't force me not to
speak to Vegeta-san you know. "
" I told you we can't tell
him! "
" All I recall promising to
you Lackey is that I wouldn't laugh. Such a simple act and I abided by that
little
"rule"
now didn't I? " Turles
replied, a sneaky look on his face.
" Will you stop and listen
for a second!? Look it says here that it's being done by the same company who
did some
kind of Saiyaman movie a while back. "
" Saiyaman?
" Turles blinked, confused.
" Yeah, you know, Gohan had this thing going where... "
Raditsu trailed off, " I just realized
its pointless to
explain this
to you you'd only poke fun at him for it; anyway its based off of something he
used to do so I'm going to
Gohan and Videl's place to see if they know anything about this or a
way for me to contact these people. "
" And I shall join you.
"
" No, you're not. You're
staying here and helping with the cookies, remember? "
" Oh its alright dears,
" Bunni waved over to them, " Trunks and I
have this under control. "
" You guys better hurry
back because you're gonna miss the biggest chocolate
chip cookie of ALL TIME. " Trunks
boasted.
The backdoor flung open and Goten
poked his head, eyes wide, " The BIGGEST? "
" Oh yeah. " Trunks
said, looking smug and proud of himself.
" WAAH I WANNA SEE! " Goten excitedly shook his tail back and forth.
" Heh,
sorry its already in the oven. You'll have to wait. "
The younger demi-saiyajin's
face fell, saddened, " Aww...
"
" Anyway, I'm going without
you. " Raditsu stated bluntly.
" Alright. "
" Eh? "
" I don't mind waiting here
while you're gone, Lackey. I understand your decision to want to inform Gohan of this
alone. " he rubbed his chin in thought, " Perchance I'll
favor Vegeta-san with a visit; I haven't seen him all
day... "
" Dammit
COMEON! " Raditsu agitatingly
grabbed him by the wrist and teleported out of sight.
" Oi
not so hard Lackey I don't have replacements for those. "
" So, am I going to be in
this? "
" You and Chi-Chi,
apparently. "
" But Okaasan
wasn't anywhere near the battlegrounds when we fought Nappa
and Vegeta. " Gohan
blinked confusedly at
Turles.
" And neither was Vegeta-san a female, but such are these "adaptions". "
" HOW CAN YOU NOT BE UPSET
ABOUT THIS!? " Raditsu exclaimed, throwing his
arms in the air.
Gohan sweatdropped,
then smiled, " Aw Raditsu, you know how movies
are, stuff like this happens all the time. "
" Yes, like that "Cell
Games" movie they showed at the Tenkaichi Budoukai. " Videl came into
the room, holding a
glass of
iced-tea.
Gohan twitched slightly, "
I, I'd rather not recall that. "
" Neither would I. " Videl shook her head, ill at the recollection, "
Grisly, cheaply-made inaccurate thing that
was. " she took a sip of her beverage, then glanced over at
the magazine, " Have you ever even seen that Saiyaman
movie they
made, Gohan? "
" Um, no. But I was in it
for a short while by accident. " he grinned, then
facefaulted, " They thought I was trying
to make
fun of Saiyaman and said my take on him was all
wrong. Why, should I have seen it? "
" Nah. "
she stood up and took another sip, " It made you look all cool and
heroic when in reality you're a complete
dork.
"
" GAAHH! " Gohan nearly fell over.
Videl smiled warmly, patting
him on the back before giving Gohan a kiss on the
cheek, " But you're my dork. "
" Can we please pay
attention to the problem at hand; they're going to misrepresent Vegeta on a national medium; we
have to
stop them before Vegeta himself finds out about this.
" Raditsu instructed.
" Vegeta
doesn't know? " Videl gasped.
" Yet. " Turles grinned mischievously.
" This is not the time to
further add to Vegeta's already amassing amount of
emotional turmoil. " Raditsu folded his
arms.
" Hn,
lots of aliteration there, Lackey~ "
" It happens when you hang
around Vegeta a lot. " Raditsu
huffed, " His various speaking quirks tend to rub
off on
those
around him; among other things. " he turned to Videl, " So can you help me find these guys and shut
them down? "
" It's not that easy, Raditsu. Depending on how far along they are with the film,
I mean people get paid for all
sorts of
jobs related to a movie it wouldn't be fair to them to-- "
" --then just give me a
phone number. An address. If it would affect that many
people, all I really need and want to
do is
get Vegeta's "character" correctly
portrayed. "
" It still says she's the
head villain whose henchmen dispose of several of the martial artists defending
earth and
then
takes part in a one-on-one battle against 23rd Tenkaichi
Budoukai Champion, Son Goku
for the fate of the planet. " Gohan
paraphrased,
" That's pretty much spot on. "
Raditsu flipped to the next
page which showed the young woman whose headshot was on the previous page in
full
saiyajin armor; which was obviously
redesigned to appeal to a sexually-charged fanbase.
" Oh. "
Raditsu folded his arms.
" I, I see your concern.
Yeah. I, totally understand the conflict and
frustration there. " Gohan
muttered in shock,
holding up
the magazine for Videl to take it from him.
" THIS is supposed to be Vegeta? " she couldn't help but laugh, then quickly
covered it up at the worried expression
on Raditsu's face, " I'll go make some phone calls for
you Raditsu; be right back. " she picked up the
cordless phone and
headed
upstairs.
" Thank you! " Raditsu called out from the bottom step.
" So, " Gohan spoke after a long pause, " Who's playing my Toussan in this? "
" So she gave me this
mile-long page of phone numbers and not a single address. I think Videl's trying to actually
discourage me
from doing something about it. "
" That is AWFUL, Uncle Ditsu. "
" Yeah, Toussan's
gonna flip when he finds out. "
Raditsu gave a heavy sigh as he
sat back in the kitchen chair across the table from Vejitto
and Gogeta; the list of
addresses
stretching across the table and hanging over the side, " He's not GOING to
find out! "
" Is that really a good i-dea though? " Vejitto
tilted his head, " Mommy's got such a keen sense
of tactitioning,
wouldn't
involving him help us? "
" I guess but... " Raditsu trailed off, "
He's been having trouble with those, ah, Kakarrotto-related
"issues" of
his--
"
" --pent up sexual
frustrations. " Turles injected,
a knowing smirk on his face.
" I will roll up this list
and I will smack you in the face with it. "
" By the time you finish
rolling THAT up I could be halfway across the city. "
" Fine then...I'LL USE MY
FIST! " Raditsu struck a punch to his left only
to have Turles just barely dodge the
attack.
The evil type-3 saiyajin let
out a low whistle, " You see this is why you'd
make a great space pirate; you know
exactly when
to hold and release your rage. "
" I don't have to steal other people's things to be happy.
"
" It's not stealing, it's
taking. I take objects of value that previously did not belong to me. And
there's much more
to it
than simply "taking things". That's like saying your job is to laze
about that boring little cottage all day while your
"girlfriend"
helps save dying people. "
" IT'S NOT! "
" Exactly. " Turles folded his arms, " You're
simply "unemployed". I could employ you. "
" I'd rather get a kick to
the crotch. "
" I imagine that'd be quite
painful. "
" Less so than having to
deal with YOU all day. "
" I smell tension. " Gogeta sniffed the air.
" It's not me. " Raditsu went back to looking through the list.
Turles pressed a button on his scouter, " Oh! It's Vegeta-san~ " he peered
around the corner to see the smaller
saiyajin finally making his entrance,
" Good afternoon, Vegeta-san; about 13kb late to
the party, but we forgive you. "
Raditsu quickly took this
opportunity to roll up his insanely long list and usher the fusions out of the
room so he
could dash
over to someplace where Turles couldn't find them.
" Its too late to ditch me,
Lackey I'm already in on this as well. " Turles
called over to him while keeping his eyes
on Vegeta, " Unless of course you'd prefer I inform Vegeta-san of this ongoing threat to his reputation, nay,
his very pride
as the
"saiyajin no ouji".
"
Raditsu froze. The fusions kept
walking. Raditsu promptly grabbed either one by the
backs of their shirts and held
them up
in mid-air. He coldly glanced over his shoulder at Turles,
who only smirked back at him.
" What type of threat to my
pride? " Vegeta placed his hands on his hips.
" It's nothing Vegeta, really I'll have everything all taken care of.
" Raditsu laughed nervously at him.
Turles opened his mouth.
" So Vegeta!
" Raditsu quickly interrupted him, setting the
fusions down and turning to face the ouji, " What've you
been up
to this morning. It's not like you to not come down so late. What were you
doing? "
" Or who was doing you?
" Turles inquired, cheeky grin on his face.
Vegeta narrowed his eyes and
pointed at Turles, " I'm
watching you, AND I'm ignoring you as of right now. " he walked
past the evil
type-3 saiyajin and over to Raditsu
and the fusions, " If you must know, Kakarrotto
and I have been discussing
"boundaries"
and the state of our relationship along with its repercussions on other
factions of our lives. "
Goku wandered past the open doorway,
whistling in the nude.
" ... " the other saiyajin stared at Vegeta.
" So by
"boundaries", you mean secretly having sex. "
" QUIET YOU! " Vegeta snapped at Turles.
" Hey Veggie? "
" Yes Kakarrotto?
" the ouji instantly calmed down, Goku walking back over to him while carrying a bottle of
water.
" This morning while we
were making lo---OOF! " Goku yelped as Vegeta elbowed him in the gut, then pulled Goku down
by the
arm to whisper something into his hear, " OHHHHHHH. Right.
Can I start over? "
" Surely. " Vegeta let go, then watched Goku
put the bottle of water back, leave the area, then re-enter, causing
the ouji to sweatdrop.
" Hey Veggie? "
" Yes Kakarrotto.
" Vegeta replied, irritation now clearly audible
in his voice.
" This morning while we
were "discussing boundaries" and the state of our relationship and
its re-procussions on
other fac-tions of our lives", I was thinking, does Veggie
really think we should get a new mattress or not? Be-cause the
one
Veggie currently has is much nicer than the one I had back at Chi-Chi's so I do
not really see the need for a new one. "
" I already informed you Kakarrotto, the old one is too loud. It squeaks and it’s
noisy. " Vegeta huffed,
" How are
we
supposed to engage in....deep, knowledge-building discussions if the damned bed
squeaks?! " he spoke while keeping an eye
on Turles out of the corner of his line of vision.
" What is wrong with it
squeaking? "
" People could hear
us...conversing. "
" But Veggie no one is up
at that hour; you said so yourself every-one is usually a-sleep at that time.
"
" It doesn't matter; the
point is it makes noise and thus places us in a dangerous position. "
" Hmm, it looks like
everyone's keeping "secrets" around here today. " Turles contemplated outloud,
amused.
" You have a secret, Turles? " Goku gasped.
" Ah, indeed I do, Kakarrotto. Infact I would be
glad to share it with you and Vegeta-san, but your
elder brother's
too
stubborn to share. "
" This is the last time I'm
warning you. " Raditsu glowered at him.
" Vegeta-san,
I suggest you take a nice long look at this. " Turles
whipped out the magazine Raditsu had been reading
earlier and
handed it to him.
" It's a television
magazine. " Vegeta stated the obvious.
" When'd you get that off
of me!! " Raditsu snapped at Turles.
" Oh I have my ways. Also
you're rather easily distracted. "
" I am not. " the
larger saiyajin stubbornly pouted.
" Page 43, Vegeta-san. "
The ouji stared at him
suspiciously for a moment, then flipped through the magazine and began to read
the article on
the
historical re-envisioned recreation based on and adapted by the various
accounts therein of the attack on Earth by the
visitors from
beyond the stars and the World Martial Arts Champion who defeated them and
saved the planet Earth from utter
destruction,
" ... "
" ... "
" Vegeta
listen I can explain none of us knew this was going to happen and I have a plan
in action to stop it and-- "
Raditsu
quickly stammered out only to watch Vegeta quickly
shut the magazine closed, " --Vegeta? "
" This is a dire situation,
I see. " the ouji nodded seriously.
" You're, not panicking.
"
Vegeta pointed to Goku, " Kakarrotto prepare
unto me a menagerie of caffeine-laiden goods and get
ready to burn the
midnight oil!
Oh, and warm up my typewriter, would you? For tonight I'm going to craft the
most magnificent recant of our
first
perilous fight against one another in the way only one who was there to live
the tale could tell it. "
" Go Veggie go! " Goku pumped his fists in the air, then jogged up around the
stairs to Vegeta's room and closed the
door
behind him.
" Mmmmmm~
" Vegeta purred, lost in the slow-motion
playback before quickly snapping out of it.
" I'm, I'm sorry, what?
"
" Eh? " the ouji looked over at Raditsu.
" I'm a little lost here.
"
" Pft.
Don't be such a baka, Raditsu.
You should know by now what I'm planning to do. "
" No....I don't. "
The ouji grabbed Goku's water bottle and pointed it at him, " I'm going to overthrow this meager production and
take
over as
Director, Producer, Writer, AND Lead Actor. " he
boasted.
" And you're not at all weirded out by the fact that the original script not only
changes your gender and throws you
into a
revealing outfit but also places you as the main's evil love interest? "
" Come now, Raditsu. The "sources" and "facts" the
public has on that battle are quite fuzzy indeed; besides I'm
going to
personally make sure their incorrect, soap-opera-y version of events will not
take place nor be published into the
world of
theater. "
" Or theatre. " Turles pointed out.
" Still ignoring you.
" Vegeta replied, " Now
Raditsu, if you'll excuse me I'm off to set these
royal fingers of mine
to work
in achieving a masterpiece of true historical origin. One laid deep in fact and
truth. "
As dawn began its
creeping approach, the deep sapphire skies overhead began to fade into a
soothing cherry blossom
pink; almost as though to celebrate the sun's
arrival the way the petals themselves celebrate the coming of spring.
Bulma flipped to the next page,
" That's very nice imagery you've got there Vegeta,
but you know descriptions never
really
translate into the movie itself-- "
" Quiet. I know that. I'm
writing for my own satisfaction. "
But not even nature
itself could prepare for the surprise headed its way: a threat of such
incandescent magnitude
that it would throttle the very planet itself
to the core.
Scattered
across the globe, only a mere handful of earth's most powerful fighters were
able to sense the cause of
their oncoming demise, though none of them
were quite prepared for what their new foes had in store.
" I'm impressed, so far you
seem to be holding your ego quite in place. " Bulma
put the pages down on the floor as
she sat
there next to Vegeta; the ouji
himself seated infront of an old yet well-in-shape
typewriter.
" Well I can't exactly
extort my ideal visual aspects, seeing as I'll be playing myself and as I doubt
my body plans
to
suddenly grow a foot taller overnight I'm kind of stuck with "petite...yet built as though he were a
bronzed god.". "
" ...give me that. "
she held out her hand for one of the other papers.
" Fine. " Vegeta huffed and handed it over.
The Crown High
Prince of Bejito-sei, the Great and Powerful Saiyajin no Ouji, Vegeta Oujisama, was petite in
stature, yet built as though he were a bronzed
god. He had the finely attuned body of a lethal warrior with the majestic grace
of one who could only be of noble blood. His wild, windswept,
bittersweet chocolate hair exalted back in the breeze while his
glorious crimson cape fluttered behind him as he
gazed out at his opponents.
" I call bull; you did NOT
have a cape on when you fought Son that day. "
" Are you trying to be my
editor or are you trying to be a critic; the cape's one of those
"visual" things you were
talking
about. It "translates" into the movie and points out to the audience
that 'clearly this guy's someone
important'. "
Bulma sighed, " Fine. You can keep the cape. "
Vegeta made a "YES!"
motion with his arms.
She flipped through several more pages before finally
cringing.
Vegeta wondered if she'd
finally made it to Kakarrotto's entrance.
" Oh, Vegeta
you, we can't keep this in here. "
" Hm?
" the ouji leaned over her shoulder.
"
Nappa
you fool! " the prince raised his hand in aggravation, " Where's your
head! If you kill the namek now we'll
NEVER get our hands on the dragon balls! "
" I don't quite follow.
"
" You can't use that, Vegeta. A very select few people know about the dragon
balls and I'd like to keep it that way."
" Selfish are we? "
" Not selfish; SMART!
" she pointed at him, " Imagine if you will a world in which every
single citizen of Earth
knows what
the dragon balls are and how to find them? There would be battles upon battles
waged over them; people would drop
everything in
their entire lives just to go out hunting for them; I mean, something that
could grant, within reason, anything
you
desire? Not to mention all the Red Ribbon Army-type groups and Pilaf-gangs that
would pop up. "
" OR they would simply
think it was something I made up. "
" No. I can't risk that; Vegeta just call it something else, like..I don't know; turn it into a treasure of some
type. Or rare jewels. "
" I can't use "rare
jewels"; do you have any idea how many subtextual
puns you would get out of the phrase Piccolo's
"rare
jewels"? Not to mention the fact that the namek's
asexual to begin with I mean; how would someone who's asexual even
have
"rare jewels" on him to begin with? "
" ... " Bulma
wrapped up the paper and lightly thwacked Vegeta on
the head with it, " Just rename them and reclassify
Piccolo
as simply Piccolo Daimao's son, ohkay? We
don't need people to know Piccolo's a space alien. "
" But that would be
altering the facts, which is what I'm attempting NOT to do in order to correct
the already horrid
script
those Hollywood types have come up with. "
" And your cape? "
" I explained the cape
already! "
" UGH! " Bulma hung her head back and leaned it against the side of
the bed, " You give me headaches, Vegeta. "
" I'd prefer to give them
to Onna. "
Bulma stared upwards at the
ceiling, then over at Goku who was fast asleep on the
bed, " When did he pass out? "
" Early, as usual. "
the ouji replied, disheartened, " Onna's trapped him on the most ridiculous sleep-schedule.
Who
goes to
bed at 7:30, 8:00pm anymore?! "
" Son-kun's
always gone to sleep early; I think his granpa used
to get him to do that so he wouldn't see the moon
and go oozaru on everyone. "
" Well I suppose its
alright; I'm going to need him up bright and early to teleport us over to East
City for this
thing.
"
" And you received a
proper, legal agreement to take over the production of this movie, right?
Because I don't want
to help
you do something illegal. " Bulma
warned.
" Videl
called a bunch of people. "
" I'm not stupid that
sentence could mean anything. "
Vegeta sweatdropped, ::She's knows me too
well.:: " Ah, she gave Raditsu some numbers
to call; all of which had
area
codes for East City. "
" ... " Bulma
folded her arms.
" Dammit
Bulma the stupid movie writers changed me into a
female hooker! There's no way in hell I'm gonna let
that
slide!!! " Vegeta angrily ranted.
Bulma eyeballed him, " A what? "
The ouji reached over into the pile of mess he'd created over
the past six hours and pulled out the magazine Turles
had
shown him, " HERE! Look at this! That woman there, in that...COSTUME, is
supposed to be ME! "
" ... " Bulma
took the magazine from him and stared at it for a moment before crumbling it up
in her hands, her
expression
unreadable before a vengeful glare surfaced, " Oh they're going down.
"
" YES! " Vegeta pumped his fists in the air, "
RRRRREVENGE! Sweet delicious revenge~! "
" But no killing anybody.
"
" Aww....
"
" Except maybe the sex
fiend who came up with this stupid idea. " she angrily motioned to the
photograph of the woman
in
costume, " Feel free to snap his finger bones or something. "
" Heh~~
gladly. "
" Well Toussan
it took me most of the night and I had to perform a rush job on it on order to
get these parts here
sown
properly, but for what its worth I'm very happy with it. "
Bura held her creation tightly, " I hope Kakarroujo thinks so
too.
"
" Ahh,
I can only wish for Kakarrotto to praise your
commanding efforts on this lovely outfit. " Vegeta
admired the
clothing for
a moment before checking over to make sure he'd packed all his suitcases
together.
" Morning Veggie-saaan~ "
" Morning Toussan! "
Goten and Trunks came sliding
down the staircase railing.
" What're they doing here?
" Bura raised an eyebrow.
" Goten
is going to be playing Gohan's part, as the latter of
the two Kaka/Onna-spawn is far to fully grown to be
taken seriously
in the role of the frightened, power-latent newbie. "
" I'm not afraid of
anything, Veggie-san! I'm really brave! " Goten grinned, thumping his fist against his chest.
" Yes. Indeed. " Vegeta sweatdropped
lightly at him before turning back to Bura, " As
for Trunks, ah...well I don't
know I'll
find something for him to do; it's strange to bring one of them along and not
the other, you know. "
" We're like peanut butter
and mayonnaise! " Goten cheered.
" Eeew,
no. Jelly, Goten. It's JELLY. "
Trunks cringed at the thought of those two ingredients together in a
sandwich.
" Or jam. " Gogeta piped in.
" Make mine blueberry~!
" Vejitto pumped a fist in the air before
noticing the clothing Bura was holding, " What is
that?
"
" None of your business.
" the demi-saiyajin folded it up.
" If it is a-nother you-know-what for you-know-who he is not going to
want to wear the you-know-it, you know. "
Bura blinked for a moment in
confusion, then shook it off, " Don't try to mess with me just because
you're on the
other
side. "
" I'm not dead. "
" No! I mean---ugh, nevermind. "
" Ohaiyo~!
"
" Oh shoot he's up. " Bura made a fist.
" It looks as though my
timing was a tad off. " Vegeta also made a fist.
" Bad morning, Vegeta-san--en? " Turles was
greeted with an open palm. He lifted his sunglasses up to stare at
Vegeta's
gloved hand, " Oi, Vegeta-san
what's with the-- "
" --you're not coming.
"
" Not nice to get a trim
and not tip the barber, Vegeta-san. " Turles coolly replied.
" What's with the mating
season garb? "
" Oh? This?
" he looked down at his borrowed black male
kimono, " I don't want to attract any unwanted attention;
afterall the space police don't know
I'm on this planet and I'd like to keep it that way; if we're going to be on a
major
movie set
and as long as I'm in this I doubt I'll be the one getting my picture taken. " he adjusted his sunglasses, " No
scouter though; but I'll have Kakarrotto around to ask if need be. "
" Where IS Kakarroujo? " Bura asked, a little upset.
" Breakfast. " Vegeta motioned to the kitchen.
" Hm?
" she looked over and sweatdropped to see Goku halfway through a gigantic breakfast-related meal,
" O--oh. "
" I will be there in a
moment, Veh-gee~! " Goku
called over to him, then downed another plate of
pancakes.
" Kakarrotto
needs his strength you know. "
" I can see that. "
" *Knock*knock*knock*
"
" Bura,
catch Kakarrotto up to speed with things, I'm going
to answer the door. " Vegeta smirked over at the
door
while
handing Bura a check-list attached to a clipboard.
" Um, ohkay?
"
" I have a good feeling
about this. " the ouji chuckled to himself,
adjusting his armor and flicking his cape back
against the
indoor wind before walking up to and opening the door, " Why good morning,
Onna. "
" I'm coming. "
" My that's a quick-made
decision. And to where are you coming? "
" With you people. To the
"movie set". "
Vegeta raised an eyebrow,
amused, " And how would you know of-- "
" --Videl
told me. "
" Oh. I see. Well I suppose
that part is a little out of my control seeing as I wasn't the one to
originally discover
this
particular find. " he pondered outloud, " Very well, Onna.
You may accompany us and give witness to my directional and
produciating genius in action. "
" I heard I was in the
movie. "
" Yeah, I kinda killed you off in the rewrite. "
" What?! " she placed
her hands on her hips, slight agitation building.
" Well you see Onna, I didn't write you off--that would allow you leeway
for reappearing--I have you perishing deep
in
battle around page 184 or so of the script. "
" I'm guessing I try to
battle you or Nappa? "
" No, a rock falls off the
side of the cliffs and crushes you. "
" ... " Chi-Chi stared
at him lamely, " Give me the script. "
Vegeta held it out of her reach
up above his head, " Now Onna,
your death motivates Kakarrotto to fight harder
against me.
You know, how Kuririn's death was the final derisive
piece that allowed Kakarrotto to transform into a ssj for
the
first time.
" I think you mean the
final "decisive" piece. " she folded her arms.
" Oh, I know what I said.
" he smirked back at her.
Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes at him, "
Seriously, give me the script. I want to see it. "
" Nope; this is for the viewage of higher ups only, Onna.
You know, the producer, director, writer-- "
" --all of which are, let
me guess, you. "
" Indeed~! " he
beamed.
" Ready~! "
" Hm?
" Vegeta looked over to see Goku
standing there beside him, happily patting his stomach, "
Ah wonderful,
Kakarrotto~.
"
" You can still fit into
your old Kaio gi? "
Chi-Chi commented to him.
" Yeah~! Who would guess? " Goku grinned.
" Well let's get going, no
one is going to wait for us you know, " Vegeta
got his things together, " Though mostly
that's
because they're unaware we're coming. "
" What? " Chi-Chi
looked over at him.
" Hurry everyone, we don't
want to be late. "
" So you weren't given
permission at all to work on this thing? We're actually barging into a movie
in-process and
overthrowing the
entire production?! " Chi-Chi exclaimed, "
Are you MAD?! "
" Pft,
Onna obviously you aren't one for magazines. Here. " Vegeta handed it over to
her.
" What's this? "
" A news article on the
current progress of this "adaption". "
he explained as the group hid behind one of the larger
cliffs near
the area the movie was being shot at. From this angle Vegeta
could just make out a few faces he had seen in the
magazine,
" Alright. Bura, my suit. " he held out his
hand.
" Your what? " Chi-Chi
glanced over at him to see Bura hand Vegeta a black suit.
" Here you go Toussan! " Bura happily
handed it over. Vegeta took the suit and disappeared
behind another cliff to
change.
" While under normal
circumstances I would simply engage in a flashy entrance and threaten the
entirety of those
involved, I
feel the best way to go about this particular situation is to mentally outwit
the lot of them. And if the quotes
from that
article hold any merit, it should make this particularly easy to handle. " he adjusted the black tie overtop his
white
shirt, " Follow me, Bura. "
Bura whipped out a pair of
large sunglasses and put them on, " I'm also one
of the head higher ups. "
" And I can be Veggie's sexretary~! " Goku happily
raised his hand.
Vegeta nearly fell over,
flushed red, " Nani?! NO! No you can't! " he sputtered.
" What a-bout your ass-sistant? "
" .... " Vegeta
turned and pointed at Turles, "
YOU! "
" Eh? " Turles blinked at him.
" Stop feeding him lines!
"
" I'm not feeding him
anything. Kakarrotto's simply dipping his hand into
the well of his own creativity. Such cheeky
adlibs
aren't of my design at all; I'm far more subtle in my mockery, Vegeta-san. You should know that. "
" ... " Vegeta
turned to leave, adjusting his suit once more before finally walking out.
" Aw, no witty comeback?
You spurn me of your always-entertaining muse, Vegeta-san.
"
" QUIET YOU! " Vegeta snapped, annoyed before turning back to see several
workers staring at him and Bura, "
Ah-- "
" Good afternoon! It looks
like we've finally arrived; I apologize for being unable to contact you sooner.
" Bura
quickly
picked up where Vegeta'd paused and ran with it. She
approached the director, " Mr. Senmitsuya, I
spoke with your
secretary on
the phone this morning, I assume you're up to date? "
" Ah, no.. " he said
slowly, not recognizing her, " Who are you people? "
" I'm Ms. Aya Hakaru with East City
Productions, and this is Mr. Biji Bijireiku,
well-known head director/producer
and
writer of both historic documentary pieces and successful dramas. We've been
assigned head production on this project. "
" Pleased to meet you.
" Vegeta smirked, shaking the man's hand with a
little more power than needed.
" AAGHHHHhgaaa..
" Senmitsuya pulled his hand away and tried to
play it cool as though it hadn't felt like the
shorter man had
just broken several of the bones in his hand, or at least sprained them, "
N-nice to meet you as well. But,
you're
saying...I'M being dropped from the project? "
" That is correct. "
the ouji responded coolly, " We have
documentation to back it up, that is, unless you'd prefer we
call
those at East City Productions and tell them you're unhappy with being
"let go". "
" But that doesn't make any
sense. Why would they do something like-- "
" --THIS, for starters.
" Vegeta held out the magazine, " What sort
of asinine wardrobe department are you heading?!
First of all, the saiyajin no ouji is an ouji, as in, he is male. Second, if he WERE female he
certainly wouldn't be prancing
about in
such garbage where any dimwitted fool could see all that and more; instead this
character should be wearing
something
classy that shows off just enough of their assets while leaving much more to
the imagination. You tease your
audience, you
don't throw the entire thing out on the table like a slab of meat. What you
should've used was one of those
shimmering, low
necklined evening gowns with a slit down the side of
one of the legs, not this...this hooker-wear! "
" Um, if it's only her
outfit that bothered the higher-ups, we could fix tha--
"
" --no need. She's fired
and you're fired. "
" What!? " the man
nearly choked.
" Sorry don't worry you'll
find other jobs. " Bura cheerfully patted Senmitsuya on the shoulder before she
and Vegeta
headed
deeper into the area.
Vegeta stopped before a
bored-looking young man in a dirty orange gi with
black pants. His hair seemed a horrible,
second-rate
attempt at recreating Goku's own unique style. The ouji thrust out a punch, nearly hitting the man in the head
and
frightening him.
" WHAT THE HELL!? "
the young man choked.
" Kakarrotto
would have seen that coming and countered it before the punch even arrived. You. Fired. "
Vegeta
motioned his
thumb over his shoulder.
" Hey no fair! " he
got up, " I don't even do stuff like that. "
" Excuse me? "
" Stunts. I'm the lead actor, I can't go running around and getting myself
seriously injured. That's my stunt-double
over
there. Test him! " the man pointed over to
another young man dressed identical to him, only with a slightly better
build.
" ... " Vegeta
stared at the situation with bland disgust, " You're both fired. " he
bluntly replied.
" WAAAAAH!? "
" Kakarrotto
with a stunt-double. That is clearly one of the most absurd things I've EVER
heard. "
" Oh really? " the
stunt-double agitatingly approached Vegeta and Bura, " If you
fire us who do you expect to learn
all
those lines? Or do all the heavy stunt-work associated with this role? " he boasted.
Vegeta snapped his fingers and Goku teleported beside him, startling the two actors, " Gentlemen, I would like to
introduce YOU
to YOUR replacement, the real "Son Goku".
"
" Hi! " Goku happily waved to the shocked duo before looking over
at the ouji, " Wow
Veggie you're right they don't
look like
me at all. "
" W--what is this? How did
he do that?! " the first man asked as to Goku's sudden appearance.
" It's a technique called shunkan idou, though I just call
it teleport for short, even though tech-nically that
is
not what
it is. It’s just moving really, really, REALLY fast. " Goku explained.
" O--oh. "
" Anyway, bye now. Get
lost. " Vegeta
cheerfully waved the two actors away; both of whom tottered off, grumbling.
" Fine whatever I didn't
want to be in his stupid movie anyway. "
" Heh~
this is working out as planned. " Vegeta rubbed
his chin while Goku stood there, slightly confused.
" Hello hello~! "
" Eh? " Vegeta looked over his shoulder to see a young woman
standing there dressed fashionably, yet slightly loud,
"
And you would be? "
" Hahaha,
you're so funny, joking like that Mr. Bijireiku.
"
" Paying attention to us
earlier I see. " Bura whispered to Vegeta.
" Hn.
"
" I'm Aidoru
Jamakusai of course; popular idol turned singing
sensation turned movie star! But you can call me
DoruDoru or Doru-chan of course. "
" I call you fired. "
" EHHH?! Mr. Bejireiku don't play games with me
that's not nice. Afterall I'm playing Son Chi-Chi,
it’s an important
and
serious role for me. " she explained with
childish fervorance, " Imagine the determination
of a woman who sets off to save
her
loved ones from a bunch of evil space aliens who are trying to take all that
away from her. How torn she is upon seeing
the man
she loves wrapped in the arms of another. Of course she's not gonna take that lying down. She snaps him out of it
and together
they kick those evil aliens back out into space and then have a hot sex scene
right in the aftermath of the
battle;
proving their love for one another and how love conquers all; even outer space
aliens and stuff. "
Vegeta let out a low whistle, disturbed,
" Huh. " he flatly replied, " Yeah,
you're fired. "
" AWWWWWWWWW! " Aidoru whined, then stormed off with a pout, " MEAN! " she turned momentarily to face Vegeta and
stuck her
tongue out.
" Lovely. Very becoming of
an adult you are. " the ouji
dryly responded, then continued onward before almost bumping
into and
older man who appeared as though he still had a few visages of his well muscled
youth still upon him. The man was
well-tanned,
sporting a full head of silver hair, a clean-shaven face, and had two women
hanging off of either side of him,
"
And you would be? "
" Gase
Battamono, or as they call me on-set, "Master Roshi". "
Vegeta stared at him as if the
man had spouted a third arm from his forehead, then frustratingly rubbed his
own
temples,
" This is gonna take a while. "
" Haha!
" Goku laughed at Battamono,
" Master Roshi WISHES
he looked like that. "
" Pardon? "
" I'm still not sure how we
got roped into doing this. I mean, I DIED when this happened for real; why
would I want
to
re-enact that time in my life? " Yamcha
complained, sitting on one of the rocks on-set beside Tenshinhan.
" Most likely because Son Goku is excellent at convincing his friends and others to
help him. " Tenshinhan sighed,
flipping
through a copy of the script, " I don't recall Chi-Chi being in the
battle. "
" I don't recall half these
LINES. Sure we were scared but we weren't all "oh he's so powerful how could we ever hope
to even in our wildest dreams ever measure up to the saiyajin no ouji in strength OR
aptitude!". It's almost like Vegeta
wrote
this. " Yamcha lightly
slapped the script.
" Vegeta
DID write this. " Piccolo held out his copy and pointed to the cover,
which credited the ouji at the bottom
of the
page.
" Oh I'm not doing this if Vegeta wrote it. Who knows what horrible embarrassing stuff
he'd make us all say. "
Chaotzu
gasped.
Yamcha sighed, frustrated, " We can't help it; afterall
we can't go and disappoint Goku after we agreed to
help him
with this
"movie". "
" Did anyone else around
here notice the absence of any real actors? " Kuririn
walked up to the other senshi, "
I
mean,
we're the only ones around here actually performing in the movie. "
" Yeah, the Ouji fired them. " Chi-Chi flatly replied, " Your guy was six feet tall and well built, by the
way. "
" WHOA really?! " Kuririn grinned, " How cool.......but that would be
false advertising wouldn't it? " he frowned,
conflicted.
" Pft.
You should've seen the airhead they plucked out of the helium fields to play
me. She probably couldn't do simple
arithmetic
without a calculator. " Chi-Chi rolled her eyes, "
...Yamcha would've liked her. "
" He don't characterize me
like that! " Yamcha sweatdropped,
upset.
" EVERYONE TAKE YOUR
PLACES! "
" AAAGH! " Chi-Chi
clutched her ears in pain, then looked over to see Vegeta standing next to her holding a megaphone
infront of his mouth.
" AND STOP SHOOTING THE
BREEZE! "
" YOU IDIOT YOU DON'T YELL
INTO MEGAPHONES WHEN YOU'RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE PEOPLE YOU'RE DIRECTING
IT TOWARDS! " Chi-Chi yelled at him, partly over the ringing in her ears.
" WHY YES I AM
DIRECTING, THANK YOU. "
" Dude how can you be the
director when you're acting in the film? " Yamcha
exclaimed.
Vegeta walked up to him, then
lifted the megaphone again, " LOTS OF FAMOUS
ENTERTAINMENT PEOPLE DO THAT, "DUDE". "
" OWWwwwwww...
" Yamcha winced,
rubbing his ears.
" ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
"
" *CRUNCH* "
" ... " Vegeta
looked down to see Piccolo's hand wrapped around his now-crushed megaphone, an
irked expression on the
namekian's face, " Hm. I see. I suppose I would tire of that eventually. " he tossed the now-broken megaphone to the side and
headed back
on-set.
Piccolo ripped his deafened ears off and regenerated new
ones, " Whenever Vegeta's
given even the slightest bit of
power he
has the ridiculous compulsive need to throw it around. "
" I know. I hate that. " Chi-Chi huffed.
" Toussan!
" Bura called to Vegeta,
" I found the footage they already shot! "
" Excellent. " the ouji waltzed over to a makeshift desk with a laptop on it,
" While I shall be dumping this
monstrosity via
exorcizing it from the hard disk, I must admit to my own morbid curiosity of
how it were to have taken place
had I
not intervened. "
" Oh brother. " Chi-Chi
slapped herself on the forehead.
" Yeah, I wanted to see it
too, you know, for comparison’s sake. " Bura hit
the play button.
" Oh! So this must be the great, Son Goku. You've finally arrived to challenge me and defend
your fellow warriors,
now have you? " "Vegeta" mocked, moving about in excess.
" Whatever. " "Goku"
responded in a bored manner, his expression practically lifeless.
" I won't let you talk bad about Goku-kun
that way! " "Chi-Chi" shouted protectively, then smiled, " And I'm going
to show you why not through the power of song! "
the girl whipped out a microphone as a spotlight shown upon her.
" WAIT. " a deep voice interrupted.
"Chi-Chi"
gasped as she looked over to see the tall, muscular, man to her right, " It's Kuririn-kun! He's still
alive! "
" Indeed. " "Kuririn"
coughed a bit of blood up, " I held out this long, Goku,
now that you're here we'll finish this
job together. "
" Yes, it has been long since my sword has ached to
feel the taste of the blood of evil. " a nicely built, if
slightly thin man dressed as a samurai, his hair upkept, stepped out from behind a rock.
" Yajirobe-kun! "
" *Click*. " Vegeta hit the stop button, " ...
"
" ... "
" ... "
" Well, now I know which
"sources" they contacted before they decided to start making this
stupidly inaccurate film."
the ouji muttered.
" Where is Yajirobe? " Bura looked
around, only to see the heavyset samurai chowing down
on the free buffet food
while
scratching his ass.
" Hm?
" Yajirobe looked over at her, " Hey. " he waved, " I'm not gonna have to do any crazy stunts am I? "
" Yeahhh...I
can see why they'd change that. " Bura sweatdropped at him.
" I'm going to change into
my proper wardrobe, I'll be right back. " Vegeta
took off his tie and handed it to Bura,
"
Here, you're in charge while I'm gone. "
" Neat. " she grinned
as Vegeta walked off, then pouted, " But it kind
of clashes with what I've already got on... "
" Ah, there's my beloved
royal armor. " Vegeta picked up his clothing off
the tabletop of one of the outdoor,
makeshift
trailers. He turned around only to find Goku sitting
there with both feet on the seat cushion of the desk's
wheelie
chair, stubbornly glaring at him, " Ah... " Vegeta blinked, beginning to sweat, " You
looked through the costumes. "
Goku reached over and pulled
something out of a suitcase, then thrust it infront
of Vegeta, " I am NOT
wearing this
at the
end of the movie. "
" That's ohkay. You can wear it at the beginning or in the middle if
you like. "
" ... " Goku
continued to glare at him.
" Ah, hahaha,
that was just a little playful banter, um....you see Kakarrotto,
its like this-- "
" --I am not going to wear any of the fancy dresses Bura makes for me, no matter how many she makes. "
" Well I can have her make
plainer-looking-- "
" ... "
" I see my attempts at wit
aren't providing me any headway into easing the tension right now. " Vegeta thought
outloud to himself.
" No Veggie they are not.
"
" Well, look and listen then
Kakarrotto because I'm about to speak my own mind on
this. " Vegeta thumped one of his
palms down
onto the tabletop beside him and pointed at Goku with
his free hand, " Acting this way makes you no better than I.
Being all conscientious about
clothing and what you wear isn't like you. Hell you run around nude half the
time and you'd
probably do
so even more than that if it were deemed legal. By falling into Turles's trap you're not "expanding" your
horizons as
you'd have hoped, you're limiting them by feeding this newfound insecurity.
It's a damned double-standard if I'm
comfortable
wearing fanciful undergarments and the ilk while you sit around freaking out
over a ballgown! "
" ....wow. "
" Yeah. " Vegeta folded his arms, " You
bet your fine peasant rump it annoys the living daylights outta
me. "
" I, had never thought of
it like that. "
" Well I bet you hadn't.
"
" I do not want to be all
paranoid and led to de-llusions by my ego like you
are Veggie! " Goku gulped, nervously
grabbing Vegeta by the front of his suit.
" Watch your mouth and I
bet you don't. "
Goku let go, "
But I do not want to wear something like that in a movie. "
" Fine. Perhaps we could
reach a compromise of some sort. "
" Any reason why you're
wearing all that jewelry, Goku-san? " Chi-Chi
raised an eyebrow as she stood off to the side,
Goku next
to her wearing all sorts of necklaces, rings, and head adornments and clip-ons.
" I do not want to go crazy
like Veggie, Chi-Chi! " he determinedly made fists, staring out onto the
set.
" Oh for the love of...what
did you say to him THIS time? "
" Pardon? " Vegeta smiled at her, content.
" Idiot Ouji
you fed him some sort of ridiculous drivel back there didn't you! "
" Pft,
all I did Onna was simply lay the facts out on the
table. Nothing wrong with me correcting erroneous
misunderstandings now
is there? "
" GASP! " Goku suddenly announced.
Vegeta and Chi-Chi looked over
to see Raditsu standing there wearing an ill-fitting
bald cap, which not only refused
to
accomplish its job, but merely kept the larger saiyajin's
hair sticking upwards into the sky beneath it much like a
translucent
wrapped sausage.
" Vegeta,
the whole "Nappa" thing. I don't think it’s
gonna work. " Raditsu spoke seriously while Vegeta
and Goku
could only
gawk at the state of his hair.
Chi-Chi meanwhile had burst into laughter upon first
seeing him and wasn't exactly going out of her way to hide it.
" You look like you have a
giant super-brain in there! " Goku announced, still
in shock.
" ... " Raditsu sweatdropped, " Thanks Kakarrotto. "
" *Snicker* "
Raditsu looked over to see Turles standing there, trying his hardest to keep from
laughing and only managing a rare,
ridiculously
amused grin more befitting Goku then himself.
" H--hey there, heh..heheh... "
" Fine. Let loose I don't
care! " Raditsu folded
his arms, annoyed already with Chi-Chi's laughter.
" Can't do that, Lackey.
I'm evil. Evil doesn't go guffawing about. " he
lightly slapped himself on the side of the
face to
try and knock the goofy grin off; which practically fell to the floor when he
noticed Goku's new tapestries, " May I
ask
what's going on with you, Kakarrotto? "
" It's so I do not go
insane, Turles! " he nodded confidently.
" You look out of place
with all that on. "
" At least it is not a
dress! That is what I told Veggie. " he whispered
to him.
" Huh. " Turles glanced over at Vegeta,
who had a smug know-about-it look on his face, " Vegeta-san? "
" I win, Mr. Hotshot.
"
" Oh do you now? "
" I do indeed. " Vegeta flicked his royal red cape over his shoulder and
struck a proud pose, " Now let's no longer
dawdle, to
the set! "
" Who's going to play Nappa? " Raditsu asked.
" ... "
" STOP GAWKING AT MY HAIR
DAMMIT! "
" I suppose I can go grab Nappa himself. Give me a moment. " Vegeta held up one finger while using his other hand
to
teleport,
then reappear with Nappa beside him, " There we
go. "
" Uh, Vegeta
what's going on? "
" You're going to be in a
movie, now go grab yourself a copy of the script and meet me by that rock in
five minutes."
the ouji motioned over to it and walked off.
" Whaa?
" Nappa blinked, utterly confused. He looked
over at the others.
" They were going to have
me play you, but it didn't work out so well. " Raditsu
replied.
" I can see why. " Nappa sweatdropped, " You don't even have the mustache or anything. "
" A---....nevermind. "
" So, where is your old saiyajin armor? Did you bring it with you? "
" Will you shut up and go
away, I don't see how its any of your business. " Raditsu
grumbled as he finally freed his
hair from
the bald-cap; or rather attempted bald-cap. Turles
sat on the side of the desk infront of Raditsu's chair.
" Is it in here? " Vejitto stuck his hand into Raditsu's
hair and pulled out a red handkerchief which was then
connected to a
blue one, then a yellow and green one, then a red one again. The pattern went
on for three feet before
finishing its
exit from Raditsu's hair.
" Or here? " Gogeta reached his hand into another part of the larger saiyajin's long mane and pulled out a dozen or
so
small birds which flew off into the sky.
" Or here? " Vejitto pulled out a stop sign.
" Or here? " Gogeta pulled out a miniature refrigerator.
" OR...HERE? " Vejitto pulled out a taxi cab, then
set it down and on its way.
" OR HERE?! " Gogeta pulled Vejitto out.
" Gasp! How did that o-ccur? " Vejitto
exclaimed in mock-shock.
" It is magical! " Gogeta gasped.
" WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!
" Raditsu snapped at them, frustrated and irked.
" ... "
" ... "
Both fusions backed away and behind a nearby rock,
frightened.
Raditsu slammed his forehead
down onto the desk.
" There there,
Lackey. They were only having a bit of fun. " Turles lightly patted him on the shoulder, then
reached
his hand
into Raditsu's hair and pulled out his scouter, " Ah, there we go. " he placed his
sunglasses down on the table and
put his scouter on instead.
" ... " Raditsu
perked his head up and glowered at him.
" Well, it seems I shall be
taking my leave. " he coolly replied.
" Take it, or I'll take it
for you. "
" Raditsu
that doesn't make a bit of sense. " Turles
hopped off the desk, content in the knowledge of knowing exactly
where
everyone was now thanks to his scouter, " See you
in a while. "
" Don't hurry back. Take
your time. Feel free to get lost and stay there. "
" I'll miss you too. "
" Alright everyone, places!
" Vegeta announced, stomping around the set.
" I'm still not completely
sure what's going on. " Nappa sighed.
" I don't bite what the Ouji's serving us. " Chi-Chi folded her arms.
" Hm?
" Goku looked over at her.
" Look he's so gung-ho
about making a "historic" adaption, then
why did he keep me on? I was back at Kame House
during the
whole thing. There's gotta be something abnormal
about the script. " she picked up a copy and
began to thumb
through it,
" Like something where he steals you away into deep space and makes you
his...whatever title he's using for you
nowadays, Goku-san. "
" Now now
Onna, that's not correct at all. "
Chi-Chi looked up from the script to see Vegeta standing there.
" I'm quite the responsible
mature adult; I'm well aware this presentation is to be seen by audiences far
and wide
and thus
they deserve an accurate depiction of what went on, rather than, well my own
personal fantastical take on things. I
assure you
I prefer to keep such opinions privately confined to that of our little...ah,
group as it were. "
" It looks like according
to page 87, I get crushed by a rock and killed. "
" All for the purpose of
further spurning Kakarrotto to fight you see. " Vegeta continued to smirk while a vein
bulged on
Chi-Chi's forehead.
" Spurning him to fight?! Goku-san was perfectly capable of fighting you without me
dying, thank you very much! "
" Well you know how the
audience loves a good tragic romance, Onna. Fighting
with dreams of revenge in his eyes, the
hero
throws his full power into taking down the man who caused the death of his
beloved. "
Chi-Chi slammed her palm into the cliff beside her while
glowering at Vegeta, who still had a smug look on his
face,
"
Fine. You want to play make-believe? "
she powered up and took a swing, " I'LL PLAY! "
Vegeta keenly dodged the
attack, " Feel free to roll the cameras; afterall realism is all the rage in popular film
nowadays
isn't it? "
" Actually Toussan that's TV. " Bura
motioned, then brushed it aside, grinning, " But hey feel free to teach Onna a
lesson or
two~! "
" No need to worry, Bura, I won't disappoint. " Vegeta
smirked, " Though Onna you do realize I'll be
sticking to my
old
limit of roughly 18,000; so don't think I'm giving you an edge or playing soft;
it's all about what I was capable of at
that
point in ti--SHI- " he leapt to the side.
" STOP GIVING ME SPEECHES
YOU ARROGANT JERK! " Chi-Chi yelled.
" Very well. " the ouji cut himself short and began a rally of punches as the
two flew about in mid-air, exchanging
blows.
" Um, ah, I, s--should I--
" Goku nervously looked between the two of them
as they continued fighting high above the
set,
" Should I stop them? "
" Quite interesting. "
" Eh? " Goku looked over to see Turles
standing there next to him, watching the fight above them.
" I can't help but be
curious, were things like this before I arrived? "
" All the time, but a
little different than this. "
" LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING HIT WITH A GIANT ROCK!
" Chi-Chi swiftly landed and lifted the prop boulder above her
head,
charging her ki around it before launching it into
the air.
" Pft,
a simple trick. " Vegeta floated to the left and
swatted the rock over his right shoulder.
" VEGGIE-TA! "
" Huh? " Vegeta stared in shocked confusion at the terrified
expression on Goku's face before cocking his head
over
his
shoulder just intime to greet a explosion of hot white
light as it washed over him and the surrounding area.
" Uhhhhh...Ka...Kakarrotto? "
" Oh thank goodness you're
finally awake! "
" Bulma?
" Vegeta's eyes fluttered open to see her
holding an ice pack on his forehead. He glanced over to see Goku
asleep in a
chair next to his bed.
" You idiot! You couldn't gotten yourself killed; showboating around like that! " Bulma snapped at him.
" WHOA wait wait wait! My movie!! " Vegeta sat up, then let out
a groan of pain.
" I wouldn't move too much
if I were you. " she folded her arms, " Your back's burned pretty
badly. That "rock" you
knocked back
hit the special effects trailer--which contained several highly combustible
materials--and the entire thing blew
sky
high! It's been all over the news for the past couple days; the footage of the
trailer blowing up. "
" ... " Vegeta
folded his arms, a stubborn look on his face, " They should have secured
such materials in a safe
place
where they couldn't have been ignited. "
" WHO PLANS TO SECURE ITEMS
FROM BEING DROPPED UPON BY A GIANT BOULDER FLYING AT OVER 100mph!! " Bulma exclaimed.
" I suppose it is a little
out of the usual realm of possibilities for safety measures... " the ouji admitted, "
I'm
guessing my
film career along with my movie itself has been placed on temporary hold.
"
" Permanent hold more like
it. The damage you caused to the set set the entire
production back. It's going to cost
the
studio more than twice what they invested in the film to reconstruct the damage
caused; you're lucky no one else was hurt
by the
blast or else I'd have a lawsuit on my hands! Do you know how ridiculous the
idea me explaining saiyajins and dragon
balls not
to mention the ability to fly would sound in court?! You should be thanking
Son-kun. He got you safely out of there
before
anyone even thought to ask where Mr. Biji Bijireiku went to. "
Vegeta glanced over at Goku once more, who was softly sleeping beside him and
flushed at the sight.
" And HONESTLY, Mr. Flowery
Language and Rhetorical Flourishes? " she let out a frustrated sigh,
unimpressed.
" I thought it was fitting,
given the situation. " Vegeta hmphed, justifying his fake name, "
Would you have rather
I had gone with something
more pertaining to my ego such as Mr. Otoko Bijoufu. "
Bulma looked away, sweatdropping and slightly ill at the same time, " I guess not. "
" Well there you have it.
"
" Listen, the senzu aren't due to come out for another couple days, so
you're going to have to sit tight, ohkay? "
she
said, getting up from where she sat on the side of his bed.
" Another couple days?!
" Vegeta gawked with disappointment on his face
and in his voice, " Wouldn't it simply be
better to
just knock me unconscious again? Saiyajin don't lie
about all day! It simply doesn't work that way! "
" You made your bed, you
lie in it. " she paraphrased, getting ready to leave.
" But I didn't make my bed!
I was unconscious! Someone else made it for me! " Vegeta called out to her.
" I'll be back in a few
hours with your dinner. " Bulma pleasantly
replied instead.
" Unnn
DON'T IGNORE ME! " the ouji yelled, then sat
back with his head on the pillow and sulked, " This isn't fair.
It's Onna's
fault you know! She's the one who started picking a fight! "
" You're the one who
thought it would be fun to trick an entire movie crew and overthrow their
production. "
" It's because they were misrepresenting me! I couldn't abide by
such slanderous allegations!! I'm the Great and
Powerful Saiyajin
no Ouji! I HAD TO TAKE ACTION! "
" Hm?
"
" Ah-- " Vegeta looked over to see Goku
barely awake, " It seems I've startled you out of your slumber, Kakarrotto. "
" Mornin'
Veggie~ " Goku grinned, then paused and looked
at the clock, " Oh! I mean, Good After-noon, Veggie~! "
" Not really I suppose.
" the ouji sighed, " I'm stuck in bed for
two days with back burns all because Onna had to go
and sass
at me. "
" Veggie did not have to
get riled up though. " Goku replied, an innocent
expression on his face.
" Oh really? " Vegeta skeptically looked over at him.
" Nope, Veggie could have
easily talked his way out of it like he usually does; he did not have to take
Chi-Chi on in
a
physical battle. "
" Still, I lost. " the
ouji huffed, laying back down and staring up at the
ceiling.
" Aw, Veggie did not lose. Not at all. " Goku smiled, " Afterall, he's got me.
"
Vegeta blinked, then felt something sink into the bed beside him.
" I do not mind waiting,
you know. "
The ouji turned to face Goku, " ... "
" If Veggie has to wait in
bed for the senzu, I can wait with him. " Goku said warmly, only to feel something warm
take his
hand. He looked down at Vegeta's bare palm, which was
partly charred on the back. He looked back up at the ouji's
face,
which was still gazing up at the ceiling, " Veggie-- "
" --thank you. "
" ... " Goku blinked,
them smiled back, " Any time. "
*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
4:23 AM 5/29/2008
THE END!
Vegeta: Unexpected.
Chuquita: Yes. :3
Vegeta: I suppose that knocks down 3 of 4 oneshots before we finally get to go home, huh?
Chuquita: (pouts) Aw, don't make it sound like
they're a nuisance, Veggie. Even I need to take a break from taking a break,
you know.
Vegeta: ...I'm not completely sure I got
that.
Chuquita: Besides things're
calming down a little finally; though its totally the
calm before the storm.
Goku: That is true.
Chuquita: I've also been partly avoiding any
recent "live action" news; that helps.
Vegeta: Good advice not to panic until you
see the trailer.
Chuquita: (shrugs) Even so there's nothing I
can really do about it. If this movie makes it into theaters all I can do to
show I'm not a fan of the adaption
is to simply not go see it and by doing so not give them my money.
Vegeta: Hn. True.
Chuquita: OH! Did you see these cute little
figures that're kinda Cross
Epoch but not really? They're figures with characters
from DB and OP switching clothes. Goku looks AMAZING in Luffy's
clothes. X3
Vegeta: It would be nice if Kakarrotto began to wear something a little more
revealing...
Goku: (sweatdrops) Me walking a-round nude does not mean revealing?
Vegeta: You know what I mean. o_o
Goku: ?
Chuquita: (grins) I wonder if they'll do one
with Veggie?
Vegeta: (pales) I, I'd rather not.
Chuquita: What? You could pull off Franky or Brooke's outfits.
Vegeta: OH OF COURSE YOU GO RIGHT FOR THE
STRANGER OUTFITS FOR ME TO BE PLACED IN! (sweatdrops)
Goku: I think you would look debonair, Veggie. :3
Vegeta: (glowering over at him, feeling
tested) ...
Goku: :3
Vegeta: (sighs) Alright, moving on moving on.
I guess there's no need to speculate over which one is next, hm?
Chuquita: Nope. :) Though I'm itching to get
back to the main storyline; I've felt tempted to skip this last one altogether
or turn it into a comic instead but comics take
so long.....hn..I still wanna
write it though so I think I will write the
oneshot first before we head
back. :)
Vegeta: Eternally indecisive.
Chuquita: (sighs) This
is true. (perks up) (to
audience) See you sometime next week everyone!
Goku: Byebye~!
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