Cursed Life

Cursed Life

Looking out of these tired Amber blood shot eyes weary from no sleep no rest for this mind of mine A Blanket of honey golden hair fans out behind me on the pillow as I lay here staring, staring with these six dimensional eyes windows into other worlds you can only see the six demotions if you look and know what you are looking for. I sigh reflecting on things in my past they play like a color film in my head that is how vivid my memory is. Ever since before I was born curses must have been placed upon my soul. The curses were very cruel as they waited tell I was four to do the first which was my father leaving my mother because he was cheating on her though we didn’t know this at the time. I was only four I didn’t know what was going on just that this man in my life was leaving. Though I don’t claim him as a father as he never really acted much like one anyways… Well how could I call someone father who was never there? My soul probably came to be cursed thanks to my father’s sins the only blessing in my life was when my baby brother was born one year after I was though I believe his soul must have been doubly cursed either that or my curse was big enough to seep into the whole family.

After my father ditched us it took the curse another two years to fully take effect again and this time it took my mother I was six years old and watched her die of depression I knew she was sad I always tried cheering her up but it never happened. My mother passed away on us leaving my brother and I virtually orphans as the so called man who gave his seed twice to create two sons never showed up to take care of his offspring even when she died.
Then I allowed the curse to open fully like a vesturing thriving can of worms and maggots and all kinds of nasty things you could imagine. I did this by performing the taboo. I was ten years of age when I had done this. I’ll always remember the day I lost everything. From a child like foolish fancy I wanted to desperately bring my mother back as I was only a confused child with no guidance I was left alone to hear my baby brother cry in his sleep wanting mommy to hearing him cry cause he was hungry. I had to take care of him and I thought a good way to really do that was to bring mommy back through Alchemy. Which is a science that deals with equivalent exchange also it deals with symbols and materials of the earth. You can’t gain anything with out first giving something up that is the laws of Alchemy.
The laws of Alchemy apply to all weather your foolish or wise young or old innocent or dirty the laws abide to all even if you’re a confused child just wanting to see your mommy again. I had study from six to ten making sure I had everything correct and got my baby brother Alphones in on my sick twisted plot. To bring my mother back through means of Alchemy, as I said the laws applied to even children who had no guidance. All who perform this taboo practices no matter how pure at mind and heart you are all shall be punished.


Punished I was, as I watched everything go horribly a miss right before my eyes it was all perfect no flaws nothing I read the math I read and re read to make sure. I had done tests to see if the circle was right but still it wasn’t good enough. My heart beat excitedly as I watched the lights swirl around me I was excited ready to see mommy again. In that very next second Alphonse was screaming in a scared tone my name beside me. I look over and Alphonse starts to hover off the ground by light and what seemed to be shadowy arms that grasp him all around. “NO Alphonse!” I cry in fear I stand up or try to I end up falling to my knee and hands and go to reach for him but I can hardly move I feel as if I am in some slow moving liquid gel I watch as his whole body seems to come apart like a coiled ribbon before me and I almost touched his finger tips then just like that in what seemed a nanosecond of eternity my baby brother was gone before my eyes. “ALPHONSE!” I scream “NO come back to me I can’t lose you too!” I screamed then I finally realizes as I tried to crawl there is nothing to lean on with my left side I look down my leg from the toes to my mid thigh have totally been well lets just say I had no limb all that was left was a bloody dripping stump. I screamed I was riddled with fear and utter sadness then I see the pile in the center of the circle moving a bit. Maybe it wasn’t a complete loss I thought though of course by now I am delirious and half in awareness but you didn’t have to be fully awake to see that whatever came through that gate or through us trying to bring mommy back wasn’t mommy it was a horrific site of twisted grey bone and I’ll never forget the haunting demon glowing eyes as the head looked at me upside down. I scream again this time from the blood loss I pass out in the circle and wake up laying face down on some kind of white space that feels sold but there is nothing there its just white. Then I sit up on my knee supporting myself with my hands I see I am in front of a gate. I see Alphonse inside and tones of black hands holding onto him sucking into some kind of black hell of laughter and screaming the gate is closing he reaches for me and I try to get to him by crawling ”NO give me my brother back you assholes” I scream at them. The door shut and I hear that stupid glowing faceless only teeth bastard laughing at me harshly taunting me and teasing me he was a demon of the seven deadly sins as you would call them Pride, Wrath, Envy, Lust, Greed, gluttony and sloth.
This demon was evil and scheming and loved messing with young innocent minds also thrived off of fucking up other peoples lives but of course I didn’t know or see this all I wanted was to get Alphonse back. The only way to do so was to give up my right arm and the only thing I could get was his soul but I gladly gave up my right arm for his soul. I’ll never forget the harsh laughter of that toothy grinning bastard demon as he ripped my young arm from my shoulder and blood gushed everywhere and this pain was what hurdled me back into that dark room on that hard floor where I had killed Alphonse. With my own driving will and power I was able to attach his soul to a seven foot suit of armor by putting my blood seal in many pointed star symbol with a circle around it to seal it all in I watched as it glowed and I put the helmet on with my left hand of course it was so weird not having the limbs also hard to do this when I am in such pain I didn’t realize the suit of armor was drenched in my own blood either nor did I see the blood trail I had left when dragging my body over. What was even more strange was once Alphonse came into awareness of what was going on, his little voice came from that huge suit of armor and it sounded so out of place. I weakly explained my self to Alphonse as I lay there in my own warm pooling blood I feel that Alphonse must have picked me up I feel cold steal against my hot clammy body I feel so weak on the verge of deaths door this time and not whatever gate the other place was. The other place was like hell deaths door is much more claming it seems.


I think Alphonse carried me away to find help as he carries me away to some place I have no clue to I fall into darkness drifting on the ever moving and turning deep cold waters of insanity. I lay on my back in this water floating about with my eyes closed. I hear my brothers screams see the demons yellow glowing eyes of what I thought was my mother reaching out for me with a knurled hand. These images are forever engraved on my mind.
Then sometimes all falls silent inside and I am just listing to the quit liquid sloshing sound of the waves of insanity washing over me I have no idea how it has gripped my mind nor how it has been twisted. I am a lost hopeless young boy with no drive but to lay there and die.
Fuzzy that is how it felt as I seemed to come back into some kind of state of awareness fuzzy or a tingling feeling was pricking my arm and leg and torso and face it rushed over my whole body. I hear muffled voices around me they become louder. I become aware that I am laying on a bed and the voices are getting louder and more familiar. One is Granny speaking with someone she is a very short very backwards ugly old women with hair that sticks straight up on her head and she wears glasses and smokes pipes. Then I hear a younger female voice I recognize this as Winry who is a girl who has long blonde hair and blue eyes she is my age. Then I hear a third voice that was a young males voice. I knew this one very well though it sounded as if he was speaking into a tin can or something Alphonse I think and then know. It didn’t seem anyone was paying attention to Alphonse just seemed the two females were discussing what they were going to do about me.
“Well he is going to have to be taken care of all his life,” I hear Granny say, “his mental capacity will never be stable again.” The old bat says of course she’d say something like that about me she never liked me anyways.
“So you mean Edward will have to stay here in this bed forever?” I hear Winry ask Granny in a sad tone of voice.
“That is what it looks like besides his good for nothing father didn’t show up and I don’t have the funds to take care of two children especially one as nutty as this young one.” I could almost feel the old bat nodding toward me with out opening my eyes in her none caring way.
“Yeah what he did was pretty mental I see what you mean,” Winry said betraying me I was completely heart broken. Then I hear my brother speak up on my behave.
“Edward Isn’t nuts you can’t except him to lay around in bed the rest of his life my brother is stronger then that.” Alphonse even defends me after what I put him through I thought sadly but kind of made me feel good.
“Well” Granny replied as if answering to Alphonse, “He is staying here and that is that one less brat I have to worry about.” The cruel old lady said to Alphonse this hurt why was she content to just leave me lay in a bed.
Then I hear a door open there was a wall to my right then the room was open to my left as I lay on the single bed I could tell this with out actually opening my eyes. Lest this way I could spy on them and find out what else these bitches might say. I am distracted by the new set off foot steps. “Ah now” I hear a man’s voice a deep voice it seemed to be that of great authority power and knowledge I wanted to open my eyes to see who it was but I figured this would be a better way to spy for now. “So this is Edward Elric?” I hear him ask stupid Old Bat.
“Yes so what of it then and who are you?” Granny wondered to the man.
“I am Colonel Mustang of the Central Branch of the Military.” Then I could feel this Mustang fellow walking toward me and I felt him now standing over my studying me. I had no clothes on besides some white underwear this was covered by a thin blue blanket that came to my mid torso.
“A Dog of the military you say well we don’t like your kind around here what the hell do you want?” Granny asks the Colonel which seemed kind of odd that a Military personal of such high rankings would be in this house in Resembool. “I don’t know whose leash your being forced to be led on but there is no one here you need to be…” Stupid old bat was cut off by the Colonel.
“Well Pardon me I had already been on my way into town as I was seeking out Hohenheim or Edward Elric who I have heard is a child prodigy. We could use someone like that in the Military.” I feel like this Mustang fellow was looking past my closed eye lids as if he was looking at me with my eyes open as if he was talking to me.

“Well you’ll not find Hohenheim here we haven’t seen that bastard in years sorry and how can a stumpy child be any use to you in the military can’t you see he is not well?” Granny’s annoy voice seemed to become shrill I didn’t get it one moment the bitch was complaining about me being in bed all the time now she was nagging at this guy who wants to take me out of there and away from her so she wouldn’t have to worry and now she is defending me I never understand anything. All I know is that this man really made me want to do something now something about this man really boiled my blood. Or put more drive into my body to want to do something.

“Of course I can see he has no arm or leg but that doesn’t mean he can’t become strong and become useful.” Mustang said then I feel him bending down next to the bed and he puts a hand to my forehead which I thought was odd and Granny didn’t tell him to stop touching me the hand felt warm and soft I thought. Then the hand moved over my face as if petting it, “Alright Mr. Elric I must do this check up on you first…” I hear this Mustang fellow say wait a minute check up on me but I never even opened my eyes I never even told him I wanted to join what was going on.
“But I haven’t agreed to join the Military yet Colonel Mustang.” I say in a groggy tired dry voice.
“Get me some water,” I hear Mustang order someone from behind him his voice lowered a tad as if he half turned his body then turned to me again. I opened my eyes a tad the room had light blue walls and of course light blue blanket there was an oil lamp hanging in the center of the room then four in the corners high up where you’d have to reach it with a ladder to turn it off it gave the room a nice warm glow Alphonse was sitting in the corner well the armor was facing me and looking at me I could see the white glow of his soul the floor was a bear hard wood floor there was a window next to Alphonse but the window had big thick drapes pulled shut I couldn’t see out of it. There was something odd about the oil lamps they seemed to have some kind of weird odd glowing outline around them. “Its alright Mr. Elric I’ll get you some water then I’ll do my check up on you and I’ll leave you to it.” I hear him say he sounded very friendly and was almost talking to me as if he didn’t hear me call him Colonel or spoke my statement at all.


What Happened to Granny I wondered and so I opened my eyes a little more and they both must of left the room but another lady walked in she had blonde hair and brown eyes was dressed in a blue military outfit and had a glass of water and had on gloves. ”Here you go Colonel one glass of water.” She said kindly to him.
“Thank you Lieutenant Hawkeye,” Mustang said gratefully taking the white cup. “That is it Mr. Elric you can open your eyes now I am sure your thirsty lets sit you up shall we?” He seemed to be talking to me but was really talking to the lady in the room who walked over and helped him sit me up against the back of the bed bored on my huge soft pillow why was a Colonel doing all of this it was odd but I guess he really wanted to check me over.
“Call me Ed,” I say annoyed by him calling me Mr. I wasn’t a man or anything though I suppose it was a tad flattering but still I wanted to remain Edward or Ed tell at lest eighteen if I could help it.
“Ah sorry Ed,” Mustang said in a friendly tone again and patted me on my flesh shoulder that still had an arm attached to it. “Anyways here is this water it will help with your throat so drink up but not to fast then I’ll check you over.” He said offering me the white cup he too was wearing gloves which had interesting symbols on the back of the hand. I looked at the cup reached up then took hold of his wrist instead and looked at the symbol it had many triangles on it and near his wrist was a little lizard and near the center where his knuckles were was a flame the many triangles had two circles enclosing it like a seal of some sort. The symbol was red. I wish I had my right arm at this point it felt so annoying I felt myself trying to bring what was not there over so I could traces the symbol but of course nothing happened but me trying to move my right shoulder. “Edward,” he said in a soothing voice as if trying to pull me out of some trance. “Let go of my wrist,” he said to me he gently brought over his other hand which also had a glove with the same markings and place it on my wrist.
“Sorry its just your symbols on your glove are very interesting,” I manage to get out through my dry sore throat. “Alright I’ll let you go can let go of me.”
Mustang nodded then released my hand from his firm grip then I took the white cup I had never seen or felt a cup like this before it was a soft cup and when I brought it to my dry lips and placed it between them it felt foamy I sipped the water it tasted luke warm by now but it still did the job of clearing my throat some and making it feel a tad easier for some speech if it was needed again. “That is it good lad,” Mustang praised me once I had finished the water he took the cup and offered it back up to Hawkeye who was now offering him an odd contraption. I suppose most would call it a Stethoscope which is what a doctor might use to listen to your heart I thought this was odd but said nothing I was a kid with no leg or arm so what could I do really?
“Why are you going to listen to my heart?” I wonder as I watch him put the stethoscope around his neck. I had the chance to get an obviously more then close personal look at him as he had been close to me for awhile now and I have to say that even I could tell Mustang was a overly handsome man his features were striking and almost flawless his hair was black and short cut around his head but looked handsome and his eyes were black and seemed to hold shinny stars in them.
“Well that is simple I want to make sure that your healthy of course,” Mustang said giving me a warm genuine smile.
“What Happened to Granny and Winry?” I wondered as he put the stethoscope in his ears and brought the round metal part toward my left breast.
“They went to wait outside,” Mustang answered in his still kind sounding tone. ”Now if you’ll be silent for me I am going to listen to your heart then your lungs.” I nod and stay silent as he presses the cold small round metal piece to my chest and he looks me in the eyes and gives me a pleasant smile as if he might really like me. “Well your heart is beating very nicely” he said very content with that Hawkeye was standing in the corner now with a clip bored and a pen and when Mustang spoke she wrote down what he said about my heart. “You have very pretty eyes,” he said lowly to me which I felt my face flush a bit no one ever told me that before.
“Um well thank you Colonel,” I nodded meekly.
“Just never seen anyone with golden eyes before,” Colonel Mustang went on to explain to me. ”Can you sit up straight for me so I can listen to your lungs?” He asked as he looked to his side noting Hawkeye had stopped writing down his last statement. I do the best I can and he puts his left hand to my chest to make sure I don’t fall forward as I am not necessarily knowing my own balancing skills yet with out my arm and leg. He put the cool metal piece to my back now, ”Alright breath in and then out” He tells me again in his genteel but firm tone I breath in and out three times and he sighed, “Hmm your lungs seem a bit congested but nothing a little medication won’t fix.” He said removing the stethoscope from my back and helping me sit back against the pillow again.

I nod and sigh, “Why are you acting like a doctor when you’re a colonel Mustang?” the question was burning inside of me I just had to ask it.


“Silly lad I am a doctor,” Mustang answered me and took the stethoscope out of his ears I shook my head and blinked many times.
“No your not!” I declare ”Your Colonel Mustang of The Central Military and that lady over there is your Lieutenant.” I say clearing this confused man up what was wrong with him I thought. “Come on Alphonse back me up here,” I say looking over at Alphonse who was still sitting in the corner near my bed.
“Yeah I clearly heard you say Colonel Mustang just like Edward did,” Alphonse said to Mustang I am glad there was at lest someone on my side around here.
“Edward Alphonse isn’t there,” This stupid colonel went on to say to me what the hell was the matter with him how could he not see him.
“WHAT Are you Crazy Alphonse is sitting right there in a seven foot suit of armor are you blind or something!” I say waving my left arm in the air.
“Edward my lad please clam down,” Mustang says and reaches his hand in and brushes some of my hair out of my face. “Alphonse is dead and you know it now please try to stay clam.”
“I know he was dead but I brought back his soul! And he is in a suit of armor over there in the corner right Alphonse your there right!?” I demand of my little brother.
“Yes Sir I am here can’t you see me?” Alphonse wondered but Mustang refused to accept that Alphonse was talking to him.
“Edward there is no suits of armor the only suit of armor that we know of is still in your home in the country.” Mustang explains to me ”there is nothing in the corner.” He still sat next to me on the bed he was really irritating me now.
“You rude son of a bitch why won’t you look at him!” I cry in frustration “My brother just spoke to you.”
“Please watch your language small lads like you shouldn’t be swearing,” Mustang said trying to sooth me though he was just pissing me off more and more. I looked at Alphonse I could see him clearly he was the one who brought me to the Rockbell house in the first place.
“WHO YOU CALLING SHORTY!” I feel myself unable to contain myself when I say that wishing I could leap up and pound this guy through a wall he was lucky I was missing a leg.” Ugh well you won’t believe me Alphonse Brought me here to the Rockbell house they saw him too,” I try to convince this moron what was wrong with the guy maybe he was freaked out about an empty suit of arm talking to him or something.

“Edward this isn’t the Rockwell home this is The Central Children’s Mental Hospital.” Mustang then explained that to me.
“What stop trying to trick me I am not in a mental hospital I am not mental, I am geniuses as some would say!” I said getting annoyed now ”Stop jerking me around fellow.”
“I am not Edward I am telling you the truth now you need to sit still while we change the bandages.” Mustang tells me, The walls of the rock well house seemed to peal away like chipping paint and I saw pure white walls with a high florescent looking light the walls had padding on them and so did the floor Mustang’s Uniform started to turn white and so did Hawkeye’s uniform she was standing in a Nurses Uniform. My body felt cold and clammy and I started to shiver as I began to spas out from all the weird things happening around me.
“What is going on Alphonse you there right aren’t you?” I demanded to know feeling wetness well up in my eyes my heart had started to beat madly I was very afraid at the moment freaked out any kind of word that you could think of to describe fear that is what I am at the moment.
Hawkeye walked over handing Mustang something that looked like a Needle my eyes went wide. ”What the hell keep that thing away from me!” I say trying to move away to the right but found all this did was make me fall over some as I went to lean on my right arm which isn’t there and so I am on my side now.” Don’t pick on me you bastard!”
“I am sorry Edward but you need this to clam you down before you die of shock,” Mustang said in his still kind voice though it was annoying me highly. He got a clean cotton swab and he dabbed at my vain on my arm and then pushed the needle in.
“AH that hurts!” I cry a bit but I was just throwing a pissed off tantrum now I didn’t want to be in a mental ward or hospital” I AM NOT CRAZY let me out of here Doctor please I am sorry” I say tears rolling down my cheeks.
“I am afraid I can’t do that for one you have no one to take care of you Mrs. Rockbell made that clear that she wouldn’t take you in. Plus I am sorry Edward but you killed your Brother Alphonse, Alphonse Killed Alphonse your brother you killed.” These words echoed hauntingly in my head though Mustang’s voice seemed to drift away on some warm breeze.
Or perhaps we were drifting away or I was drifting off into some kind of relaxed state.

Ever on and on I drift on the cool relaxing waves that make me slosh too and fro too and fro rocking me genteelly. The water sounds like a small soft la la bi that sings softly in my ears. I drift on and on in this dark cool place. At the moment all I see behind my lidded eyes is nothing. Nothing no colors to describe no shapes to tell about. There is nothing, nothing there nothing at all not a sound no breathing no heart beat not even the flowing rushing sound of blood flowing through vanes. No breeze no sound of water anywhere no rustles of trees no living no death nothing.