|By : FaroreRose|
Category: Missing Data > Missing Data
Views: 67 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Part one: Questions and Answers
Son Goku flinched and twitched. He squirmed, eyelids tightly shut, poring cold sweat down from his brow. Tiny black spikes that adorned the back of head were slick with perspiration, clinging to his neck as he fought to awaken from his deep nightmarish sleep.
The dream was so real that it could not have solely come from his imagination alone. It had to have a point of origin. It came from somewhere. Somewhere dark and lonely. A place that Goku had never been before. He had been to HELL of course, but this was much worse. The horrible fact was that no matter how hard he fought the thoughts, he couldn't help but realize that within him was a darkness that made the fact clear that he belonged in this nightmare. There was an understanding even as he thrashed in his sleep tangled among his sheets and pillows that he belonged in this hell among hells.
The alarm clock sitting on the bedside table began to give it's morning call. Goku's eyes shot open, their dark sparks teary, shining with the morning sun gliding in between the curtains. Weak was a feeling never felt before by Son. Not like this. Never like this. It was such a helpless feeling. What did they call it? This depression? That sounded about right.
Slowly he kicked off the thick blankets given to him by Korin after ChiChi had left. Everything in the little home that had made it a home in the first place was gone. The dishes, the pillows, the blankets, the pictures that hung on the wall... all gone. Goku thought that maybe his ex wife came to the realization that he didn't need comfort items considering he was raised in the wild. Goku became accustom to coming home after long days (or months) of training to see his house cozy and warm set up with all of the amenities that he had come to associate with a proper home. Now it was empty, and so was his heart. There it was again. That thing that everyone called depression. How could he get it to leave him alone?
It's not like he even enjoyed ChiChi's company. All she did was harp and cry and complain about how Goku never made enough money. He was never enough for her, and because of a recent conversation about their love life, she was gone. Love was never even the issue for Goku. It was an arranged marriage anyway, but being here alone in the quite wasn't something that Son was not used to anymore.
There were no sounds of breakfast being made downstairs. Goten's little voice was not trailing down the hallways, the sound of his feet slapping the floor as he ran. It was nothing but the cold silence of a Tuesday in early sunrise. Tuesday?
Something important was suppose to be happening today, but what was it? Son stared up at the ceiling letting what remained of his dream slip from his mind. It went as easily as it had came. The feeling of dread was gone.
Bulma's birthday! It was today! He had almost forgotten. She would be disappointed if he didn't show up like last year. Goku shrugged it off. Who could blame him? He was dead at the time after all.
Son gathered what was left of his dwindling strength and rose from his position on the lumpy mattress still dressed in a white tank top and jeans from the day before. He thought that a shower was most likely necessary. Shoot; he forgot. All of the towels were gone too, and he was too lazy to go shopping for new ones. He would have to shake the water off like a dog again.
The shower was warm and inviting. Droplets of water ran down his muscled back as Goku tilted his head back away from the stream. Steam was all he could see, and running water was all that he could hear. It drowned out thoughts in his mind. Nothing existed other than the sparkly white that surrounded him. Peace. Anything that could provide peace even for a second was very welcome right now. This lonely feeling had to be drowned out. Even if by fluffy clouds of steam. If the hot water would last forever then Bulma's party would have to miss him. That thought was swiped away as the steam began to dissipate and the hot started to dwindle to warm.
With what time he had left, Son lathered up his hands with shampoo (one of the only things that Chichi saw fit to leave in the house) and ran his fingers through his thick spiky hair. Soaking wet it still stood up on end dripping with suds. The muscles in his arms rippled slick with water and soap as he massaged his scalp with the tips of his fingers. Such a beauty filled with sadness. A sadness and secret rage. These feelings were so alien to Son that he didn't even recognize their existence.
Leaning back into the warmth Goku let the water flow through his hair and down his back rinsing away the soap and bubbles down the shower drain. He stood there a moment longer looking down at the swirl of water leaving the tub. The shower would be cold soon. He reached out and turned the nob. The stream drooped sadly and disappeared. Son stood eyes still towards the tiles letting the droplets of water run off of him before stepping out onto the cold floor.
As soon as Goku's feet hit the floor they were in the air. He slipped hitting his head awkwardly on the side of the tub. Rolling over onto his knees he grasped the back of his head with both hands where a large lump was starting to appear. His eyes teared up in pain. The damn rugs were gone too. Defeated by a bath tub.
Getting dry wasn't the hard part, it was getting dressed. After spending the past year or so out of training Goku felt silly wearing his gi. It almost made him feel like a liar. The fabric was a little loose anyway. Although still chiseled with muscle, the Saiyan warrior had lost quite a lot of weight due to his loss of appetite. Finally, Son decided on an orange t-shirt and a pair of clean blue jeans.
The sneakers that Gohan had gotten him two Christmases ago still sat brand new in their box on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Why not? He wasn't training anymore. It's not like the shoes would be torn to bits because of vigorous fighting. Or at least in his current condition he hoped not. What a way to celebrate his new found pity and retirement for there to be an attack on the earth?
Dressed and with sneakers on, Goku headed out of his door and down the set of stairs leading towards the kitchen. Light patches of wall shone where household items used to be. Their missing presence like a cold reminder of Goku's former life. He shook the thoughts away once more and held his head a little higher. With eyes no longer looking down but straight ahead, Goku stepped out of his front door and into the morning sunlight.
It was warm and welcoming much like the shower had been. As long as he didn't hit the back of his head on anything this time he was sure to be fine. A family of birds that Goku had recently rescued from a storm sat perched upon a tree branch just above his head. They chirped in welcome to the lower class Saiyan. Son let the first smile of the day pas over his lips. The sunlight always helped. He couldn't spend his life in that house all day, every day.
He had to fight it. Even if fighting meant going to Bulma's birthday party. He knew that there was a large chance that Chichi would be there, but he had to risk it. Hopefully she wasn't caring a frying pan around with her by chance. Goku never looked forward to coming home from training because of that thing. He would always give a sigh of relief when he would see it hanging from the wall and not clenched within her fist. As strong has Goku was he could still never hurt Chichi on purpose. So he had to settle for just letting her hurt him instead.
He shook his head again and looked away from the house. He had to get out of here. It was already a little past eleven, and the party started at noon.
Son looked down at his hands. The strength that he once had was gone. This current funk he was in had drained all of his power. Flying would be a chore. Goku lifted his hand next to his mouth, tilted his head back, and shouted into the air, “Nimbuuuuss!!” Out of the sky shot a shining golden cloud. Its puffy lumps flopped in the breeze as it sped toward Goku, an enormous ribbon like tail shooting from its rear. It did a short steep dive and skirted to a halt at Son's feet.
The birds overhead had ceased their chirping to focus on the scene before them. They had never witness a cloud obey anyone before, let alone a human. Maybe the man that had saved them really was special after all?
Goku stood before the Nimbus gifted to him by Master Roshi all those many years ago. His hands were placed firmly on his hips, and with a signature Son smile he jumped both feet in the air towards his trusted cloud friend. Goku's legs swung forward as he prepared to land bottom down upon the Nimbus. With a sudden thud his butt slipped right through the puffy transport and landed hard on the dirt sending a shock wave of pain through Goku's tail bone and spine. He gritted his teeth and rolled to his side, hands clenching his bottom. The birds continued their chirping as if laughing at their own previous thoughts. There was nothing special about this human.
Goku lay there, eyes widening in shock at his new realization. Was he no longer the same little boy Goku? Was he no longer pure? Pure of heart? What had he done? What was his dream about again?
He was beyond puzzled. What could it be? How on earth would he get to Bulma's party on time? Son sat sadly, his back against the nearest tree. What on earth now? What else could go wrong? Goku knew that he was a good person. He knew that without any doubt. Could he really be judged so harshly for what he said to Chichi? It did cause her to leave. Honestly, he didn't consider it to be a big deal at he time. He was good enough as a husband wasn't he? He had provided for them even during the times that he was dead. The money from tournaments had lasted them and pulled them through it. Plus they had never gone hungry a day in their lives. It angered Goku. And his thoughts started to become red.
Back and forth. From clear to shadowed. Those were the thoughts of Son Goku. It felt like a never ending roller coaster that went up and down and had about a hundred loops thrown in the mix. Never before had his own wants and emotions been this complicated. Goku had always known everything about himself. He was simple, after all. Happy, angry, sad. He had all of these feelings, but they always had a clear and reasonable meaning behind him. Well, other than happy. Goku was usually the one who everyone considered to be happy all of the time even for no reason at all. There had to be reason behind all of this. There had to. Especially now that he could not ride Nimbus. That fact was what bothered him the most. Even more than the back and forth sadness.
Son thought back. He stroked the blades of grass next to him with the palm of his hand as he tried to calm his thoughts and remember. Slowly he closed his eyes. The day that Master Roshi had gifted him the flying Nimbus was very clear. The old man could no longer ride it. At the time Goku had thought this slightly amusing because he did not fully understand. Even though, he supposed that it could still be amusing now if he thought about it in the right light. Soon after, he discovered that Krillen could not ride Nimbus as well. Goku smiled a bit, recalling how he had told Krillen that he couldn't fly because he had dirty thoughts like old man Roshi.
Dirty thoughts? Goku didn't have dirty thoughts? His eyes opened, and a frown of confusion and ponderings emerged in his face. Or did he? He tried to remember. No, not that he could think of. Ever. In fact, that was the very reason he was in the state of being that he was currently being plagued by at that very moment. The frown on his face deepened. What was wrong with him? What could he have done to have the Nimbus judge him so harshly? Chichi? No way. It wasn't his fault. The way he felt was not a choice he could make. Tears welled up in Goku's eyes.
Back and forth. Dark to light. Clear to shadowed.
The birds began their chirping again, this time accompanied by their red feathered neighbors in the tree next door.
Then. He remembered. Clear again. Bulma's party. How would he get there?
Dark. Dirty thoughts? Not pure? Goku was positive that he was going insane.
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