Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for A King With Chaos

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - Lenora on August 30, 2004
You never replied to my email!!!!! anyway, i loved this chapter and i cant wait to see what happens next. *walks in with Trunks, chatting about something or other and suddenly Trunks is gone. taken by the blur that is goten* well ok i'll talk to you later than. *walks off with 17* i just love him despite him being all evil and everything. i actually caught an episode of GT a couple weeks ago, I think it was like two episodes before 18 kicks his ass. but i was just watching him fight chibi goku and he was ITing and everything and i'm like alright! that fits something i want to put in my new story. :D ok done babbling now. more!
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From ANON - Webtester01 on August 26, 2004
I hope Gatta gets his throne back.

Bye for now, 60 seconces till the timer shuts off computer.

Looking forward to more.

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From ANON - macha on August 26, 2004
Eee gads! It just keeps getting more and more turned around. Does anyone in the fic. feel like things are going somewhere? Well, one of the other twins does.... hehe.... he got laid.

*note to self* Having a banished brother show up through the wonders of IT is NOT condusive to sex.

Poor Kaki, I wonder what it IS going to take to make him prepared to be a mom. Hmmmmm.

That was awfully nice of Gatta, both the body heat, and the title change. I wonder what kind of person it takes to realise that they are not capable of leading ppl. I know a few that are missing that characteristic, badly.
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From ANON - Dr. Yaoi on August 24, 2004
Hello again. I would just like to say that I love this story. It is very well written and has a good plot. I also just finished reading "Much like Suffocating" I believe. And I must say that that was an exionaional story. It was very angsty and dark. And I actually like that chichi. Which is very surprising. To get me to like her is something that has never been done. Also I thought the characters were all great and the group together made a grand team. Now it was all good and well but *shudder* the krillin lemon just about made me run and hide. So *Hands you a trophy* Here is the award for most creative. Also *hands you a check* this is for getting me to like chichi. And I would just like to thank you *takes check back* for donating that to sick kids. Well I've rambled enough. Keep Updating.
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From ANON - tatoosh on July 30, 2004
I've always had a fondness for Gohan so I'm glad in one fic he gets a bit of action other than being the annoying one. Really liked the Cardoc/Presta/Gohan thing. It could be very interesting. Loved Goten screaming about seeing his naked daughter. His Mother was most likely smiling for some unknown reason having gotten a little motherly revenge on his son.
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From ANON - Lenora on July 29, 2004
I read this on your site because aff.net was being an ass, just like Gohan. or maybe not because i got what i asked for didn't i? *shrugs* ah well, i like them together. "Sit down Caradoc" that was great. I can't wait to find out more about Ta and Gatta cause i'm confused about the bite marks on their shoulders. and suckily enough, i don't have net access till the 16th or 18th of August. gahh! *falls over and dies* *trunks shakes her shoulder* i don't wanna get up, i don't wanna go to school. *wakes up* oh sorry, *turns so card can see a dart in her back* i don't think goten likes all the time i'm spending with trunks by ourselves. *grins at goten* anyway, i can't wait to get caught up again when i get back. see ya later! *grabs trunks and runs away*
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From ANON - Elenek on July 29, 2004
But we can't leave reviews at your website. So you need to post here too. I'm enjoying your fics. I feel sorry for Goku now. How is Goten going to fix (Go (Goten's) mess. Woo hoo I was right about the Gh/C/P situation. Keep writing. -El-

I'm finally posted. It's called Swarm Saga and its on MM.org. You sohould read it because I respect your writing and I respect your opinion (even if its not a yaoi)
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From ANON - jaygoose on July 24, 2004
Finally someone says it's okay to be a perv. Yes...i very much end thd the smuttiness of this chapter. My dream had been realized and now I bask in the glow of their raunchiness. Okay...I really need to lay off the asthma pump...any way...yeah...poor Macha....
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From ANON - Webtester01 on July 24, 2004
That was awesome!!!

Wow. Talk about Gohan unleashed! I always wondered what would happen if his Saiyan side was brought out in full force. Hmm. Three layers. Interesting. I would not be surprised if the building was destroyed by the time Caradoc was done! Speaking of Caradoc, I am sure the look on his face was pricesless during the claim. Also I think it's the first time Caradoc actually took a liking to someone. We will have to see after cetain events have completed.

Presta sure was in for quite a ride. LOL

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From ANON - Macha on July 23, 2004
Yeah, Oh Shit! What the heck was Gohan thinking? Or is it a matter of instinct rather than any real thought? Ah well, it's done. Well, that is of course the twins want to come back and change it. Lucky Presta, Lucky Gohan, Lucky Cardoc ( I am still not spelling his name correctly.) Sounds like fun!

Goten being timid. Well, there's a 180 for you. Knowing that you may have made a major mistake can do that though.

Well, I hope everything turns out well for Kaki and the King and the other set of twins. I have to wonder if Goten does fix it, will the third Vegeta remember that he isn't the king when he goes back to his dimension?
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From ANON - Macha on July 21, 2004
Did I indicate that this verse having it's own set of twins was lame? I didn't mean too. I just meant that I thought it had to be something else. Makes perfect since to me. I do, however, find them less than desireable compared to the, well, twins that I am already use to. I guess the term that I would call them after only having met them this once is 'punks'. (Goten ans cos counter part are devils, and smooth devils at that!)

Nice to see Gohan taking to a verse that has 'no rules'. I knew he had it in him! Well, battle and blood lust seemed to have led to other sorts of lust, huh? I was a little shocked. Don't ask me why, but I thought he was straight, or was that because he was still playing by the 'rules'.

Well, I guess it's going to be an extended visit then isn't it? Goten's going to have to help out Kakarott. Yay! That just means that there is going to be more to this story.
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From ANON - Elenek on July 21, 2004
And I was worried I had missed more than that. Whew! There's my boy!!!! I even think you managed to work out some of the thought processes. I am so proud of you!!!!! Something tells me Presta wants in on the action as well.
Oh my!!! The political implications!!! you can tell that Vegeta, mof Gof Goku, was way out of practice with the entire political arena thing. Otherwise those boys would have picked up on it the second Ta said he was King (at 16). I think we may have found something else Goten's not good at, politics. Then again we already knew that from the way he handled the guy who was Bulma's client. Why do I have this strange feeling thahan han took Caradock home with him? Yeah! Keep writing. (sitting on the edge of my seat.)
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From ANON - Lenora on July 21, 2004
I don't know he's kicking my ass. maybe because i keep getting distracted by his pretty face. ;D hehehehe ok so...two sets of twins, two differnt dimenstions...goku gonna die? noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and gohan/caradoc action! hehehehe can't wait. wonder what's gonna happen with Presta though? maybe she'll take advice from me and bite gohan herself. :D can't wait for more!
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From jaygoose on July 21, 2004
*pouts and crossed arms over her chest* Dammit! I have attention deficiect disorder or something and a mad memory okay! So you got me that time but next time you better what it...if I remember. Anyway...you didn't read the whole thing...so there...I added a...um...warning. *looks sheepish* It would seem that I tramatized poor Macha and I don't want to do around doing that to anyone else. Anyway, I won...that is the first time I ever guessed anything right *is proudly waving to imaginary fans*

Okay...about the chapter, it wasn't that confusing. I think I got it down. Ta and Gatta are this verse's twins and Geta and Goten are still the other verse's twins. And what is going on with Gohan and Caradoc...and Presta. I am interested...very interested...I am a p a perv! *pervish grin*
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From ANON - angry monkey on July 21, 2004
hey, this is starting to make more sense. (The last chappie confused me somewhat, so I was looking forward to this one) I don't think it's confusing (now! :) ). Also starting to like Caradoc, as I see more of him. Kickass. (But no original Vegeta (APAM King) (maybe they should be named like soft drinks- original, small, classic!) and Karrarot, however, Gohan getting angry is worth it.)
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